MY DIARY
August 29th 2008
Whoops my bad, I stuffed up the website 
Just so you know, I am trying to archive Bazzy’s website so it’s there if you want to go back and read it again etc. The original website will be moved to www.bazzyboy.net/archive I’ll remove some of the links (tack room for example) and am thinking of adding a hall of fame featuring Bazz’s bestest friends.
The comments section is now fixed, sorry for those that got dropped off, I will try to add those back on. The Bazzy store will close next week, so if you want to grab a bit of merchanise as a memoir of Bazz, now would be the time to do it. You can still access it from here (http://www.bazzyboy.net/archive/page3.php)
Bazz’s mum has set up a photobucket account if you want to check out what he is up to http://s377.photobucket.com/albums/oo214/BazzyBoy/
The domain (bazzyboy.net) I will use to start a new blog about me this time and my experiences about being with and around horsies. I’m sure the big doof Bazz will feature as will some of the other horses (Minky, Toohey, Cherry etc) so you may want to keep an eye out. It wont be from a horsie point of view but I hope you will find it entertaining cos frankly I know shit about horses.
August 27th 2008
Well my horsie frens, as they say, all good things must come to an end. I first came here nearly two years ago when I left my old Mum and Owner Amy and went to live with my new owners. My Dad, who for whatever reason is nuts about me created this website so I could tell you all about my life with him as my new owner thingy and about my life in the paddock where I lived with him.
As you know, cos I just posted it earlier Dad doesn’t own me anymore cos he transfered ownership to my Mum, so now I get to embark on a new life with new adventures. Lots of things will stay the same, I will still be here with my Cherry
Dad lives the otherside of the mountain with his pygmies, Da Minky and Toothy and says he will come say hi to me, I know he will always love me and will miss me every day. What a soppy dork!!!
Mum is going to re-educate me so, I’m about to embark on a new dressage career and I get to dress up in lots of leather with chains and straps and stuff…err gay!!! and it’s not the sort of thing I want to be sharing with you lot.
Thanks to all of my frens that have come here, sometimes every day to say hello and see what I am up to, I will miss all of you, especially Indy, April, Muzzy, Kathy in SC, Blu, Buddy, Brummel, Trixie and the rest of the crew.
Thanks to everyone that has looked after me, my Dad of course, Mum, The hay headed pygmy, The Anvil Weilding Manic, Pluke the Barefoot Trimmer, The back thingy chick, The dentist etc etc.
It’s been a blast and I hope you all enjoyed reading about me.
You lot take care of yourselves, if you feel like saying hi and letting me know what your up to, get your umans to send me an e-thingy and I’ll get my Dad to write ya back.
Ciao ~ Bazz x x x
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August 26th 2008
OK I AM NOT FRIGGEN IMPRESSED!!!!!!
First of all I get taken away from my Cherry and shoved in the mobile dunny and hauled half way across Horsestralia to the Equestrian Centre at Werribee (that’s about 100km’s away from here apparently) and Mum is raving on about how World Class this and World Class that comes here, and, how the best dressage this and the best dressage that comes here, and blah blah whateverrrrrrr!!!!.
And I’m like, so what has any of this actually got to do with me?? If you had hauled me to Flemington the home of the thoroughbred racing legends (Like myself) I would have understood, but Werribee??? PAHHHHH!!!!
Anyway she backs me off the mobile dunny and introduces me to this bloke called Melbourne, I’m like, wow he must be really important cos they named the big city after him and that’s where Flemington is and err WOW!!!
Mum just looks at me and rolls her eyes, that’s Mal Byrne you idiot, not , oh never mind.
Anyway Melbourne is a Master Saddle maker, and he’s made saddles for loads of peoples that are famous and for some horses that are nearly as good as me so I’m thinking cooooooollllll, maybe I’ll get a swanky new racing saddle, or maybe a new super Western like my dad had, I was sooooo excited
So Mal checks me out so he can fit my new Super Racing Western Saddle thingy and then he comes back with a saddle, I have my eyes closed so I don’t go spoiling my surprise, I feel the saddle go on, it’s all nice and light. I open my eyes and have a look
WTF!!!!!! GET IT OFF MY BACK!!!! THAT’S A DRESSAGE SADDLE. NOOOO IT HURTS!!! DAAADDDDD!!! MAKE THEM STOP!!!! FFS Right that’s it I’m not standing for this!!!
I can’t believe my mum went and got me fitted with a dressage saddle 
That is so not even slightly funny.
Next minute Mal is taking off my favorite headstall and puts on a fancy new one
Oh god…..sigh….. Take me home!!! I so can’t be doing with this
This pic is of Mal Byrne the Master Saddle Maker, looking very pleased with himself and me looking very unpleased with myself, ears heading backwards, back leg raising upwards and moving swiftly towards his head. Get that thing off my face!!!!
If I was a dressage type thing, which I’m obviously not I might have been slightly, maybe, impressed with all of todays carrying on, Mal is a nice bloke, just has a gay job But he does produce some of the best saddles and tack and stuff, I have absolutely no idea what I’m going on about here
Anyway so that was that, Mum put me back in the mobile dunny and drove me all the way back across Horsestralia and I was home at last. And then just when I thought life couldn’t get anymore crap after being subjected to that whole dressage debacle, I’m standing in the paddock having a wee, I’d be on the mobile dunny for days, ok a couple of hours but it seemed like days, and I don’t like wee-ing in the mobile dunny cos it makes my hoofs wet, anyway I’m standing there with my under carriage down and Mum went and grabbed it!!!!
Seriously, she did, she grabbed my dangly bits and started to wash them. Bugger that!!!!, between playing with my bits and making me dress up like a poof I decided to “re-educate” Mum and gave her a swift hoof in the thigh , err whoops, thought I saw a bot fly
I got back to the paddock where Cherry and Taffy were and told Cherry all about my day, she kept laughing when I told her the story of Mal Byrne and the dressage saddle and she howled when I told her about Mum grabbing my bits, and I tried to convince her that mum had made me sore and she should like make it better 
She’s a good girl like that Cherry
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August 25th 2008
And I really take issue that I’m a wind sucker. I know that Dad had to have me moved cos the people who own the fences didn’t want me ruining them and that’s why he let me go to mums, but I’m not that bad!!!!!
I just like to sniff them cos I like the smell
Whoops, busted!!!! Mum is so going to kick my butt
August 24th 2008
Ok you lot settle down, been busy and you shouldn’t pick on someone in my condition anyway
So you know what’s going on, my Dad decided he doesn’t want me anymore cos I’m a wind sucking, pregnant, sooky, no-hoper of a horse and cos it’s winter and he’s a wuss he’s not going to ride me so he got rid of me
Yeah I know, I can’t believe it either!!!
Anyway there I was in the paddock minding my own, when I see Dad loading all my stuff up into the mobile dunny, I’m like jeez there is no way I’ll be able to get in there with all that lot, he had my feed, my spare rugs, my tack and all sorts. He then comes and gets me and puts my headstall on and walks me out to the house paddock.
Next minute I see Mums mobile dunny turn up and before I know what’s happening I’m off down the road
Wasn’t long before the mobile dunny stopped and Mum was getting me to back out, I recognise this place, this was where I use to live, I wonder if Cherry is still here?
Anyway there I am in the paddock all on my own, I start shouting out to see if there is anyone else near by, and then from over the hill I heard Cherry calling back to me. Well that was it, I started running up and down , up and down, couldn’t see her though, it was driving me nuts, got myself into a right state.
Luckily mum left me some hay so I just munched on that hoping she would get home soon.
Couple of hours later I see the mobile dunny coming down the road, she opens the back up and well bugger me, there looking like a right poof head was Nobby no-nuts, all neat and trimmed and looking very, well, err, gay really.
I started laughing at him. “bloody hell Nobby, what happened to you?” PMSL!!!! Turns out Mum had been keeping and working him at the local indoor arena because he is being sold and they shaved off his winter coat to make him look pretty, she brought him home to keep me company until she could move me to another paddock in the morning.
So I spent most of the night chatting to Nobby and catching up on what had been going on for the last 6 Months since I was gone.
In the Morning, Mum fed me and took me to a paddock the otherside of the hill. As I’m heading down to the gate, there coming down the hill towards me was my Cherry
Hey Cherry, hows it going? I was so pleased to see her!!!
So Here I am back with Cherry , Nobby and Taffy, sort of miss Da Minky and Toothy though
Don’t miss dad though cos he gave me away But a kiss from Cherry made me feel heaps better
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August 16th 2008
My dad thinks I’m stoopid, which I think is a tad harsh. I had an itchy butt this morning so I thought I’d scratch it by rubbing my bum on this tree branch. I didn’t know the branch was broken and was lying on top of another branch so every time I rubbed my butt on it it was like a see-saw and the other end of the branch would come down and slap me on the top of my head
Dad was stood in the entrance to his big stable laughing at me, ok didn’t help that it was like really itchy so I did it like 50 times, but even so there was no need for him to shout out “Bazz ya mong head” seriously I just hate to think what my unborn foal makes of all his carrying on, they can hear everything that goes on ya know, dad is so insensitive sometimes.
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August 12th 2008
OMG!!! I’m Pregnant!!!
I’m going to kill my Dad, bloody Mare cubes
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August 10th 2008
Well I had a busy day today. Dad came and fetched me and took me back to his stable paddock. I was staying at a frens of my mums next to where her stable paddock is, anyway her fren said I had to go cos I was windsucking all her poles… What the??? It was only one of them, well maybe more than one but even so… Anyway that means I’m back in the paddock with Minky and Toothy.
Don’t mind that cos Cherry wasn’t putting out anyway And Minky is just sooooo cute, oh shuppp you lot.
I forgot about Toothy though, soon as I got home he was off, yabber yabber yabber yabber, blah blah blah, grumble grumble grumble, moan moan moan……jesus Toothy mute it or I’m going to have to sit on your head.
More anyways…. Dad came over with a bucket of feed for me, that’s good right? He says I’m on hard feed twice a day now cos I need to put some weight on because it’s winter and the grass is really short.
I get three scoops of mixed chaff. Lucerne and Oaten, woooo hoooo yummmmmy.
And I get three scoops of a condition feed that’s gots lots of goodies in it and helps my top line yummmmmmy.
Annnnnddd I get three scoops of these cubes that has loads of vitmins and stuff, I was going to say yummmmyyy until dad told me they are called Mare Cubes and they are designed to help mares have babies!!!!!
WTF!!!!! Do I look like a bloody mare that needs help having a baby??? Get that crap out of my feed bin ya big mong head!!!
I can’t believe he has me eating Mare Cubes!!! And April STFU OK!!! And you Indy, In fact all of you!!! One word and I’m hoofing the lot of you!!!
Dad came back about an hour later to get my feed bin, looks inside at the pile of Mare Cubes in the bottom BAZZZZZZ!!!!!
Anyway I’m not happy with him today, not only did he tried to feed me baby making bricks, he also went and painted all the poles in the paddock with this horrible smelly stuff so I can’t crib them and then he goes and shouts at me when I tried windsucking the top of Toothy’s head
And if the day didn’t suck enough, next minute the sky starts chucking that white fluffy freezing stuff on top of my head.
I HATE WINTER!!!!
On the plus side, least I’m home with Dad and Da Minky again
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August 5th 2008
This is sooooooo wrong me having to show a cow on my web site ….. sighhhh, whateverrrrr
What the heck is that????
I went over and had a word to “Billy no-mates” about touching my hay
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August 4th 2008
Sorry everyone, still in shock, there is a cow in the paddock!!!!!!
Can’t run as fast as me though
And will you lot stop carrying on about my rug, it’s not new it’s the warm doonah one dad bought me last winter. Saying that if everyone says it’s looking old and scruffy he might go buy me a new one.
July 16th 2008
What are you lot going on about my rug? It’s the same rug my dad bought me last winter, it’s not a new one!!!
Mind you I think he should go buy me a new one and this DOES NOT make my bum look big!!!
And what’s with all those ‘umans selling me frens? Blu NOOOOOO!!!!! April, YAYYY, err I mean NOOOOO!!!!
Make sure your moms sell you to someone with a poo-ter so we can still hear from you and stuff.
Oh yeah by the way I’m in the paddock next to Cherry
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July 12th 2008
Bloody cheek!!! I get no respect around here. There I am trying to get some shut eye and Toothy is rambling on in the background as usual, so I tell him to shut it, next minute De Minky starts laughing so I tell her to button it as well and she goes and blows a raspberry at me.
What the!!!
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July 5th 2008
:( Nooooooooo
Heard from Big Joes Mom that he has gone to the big paddock in the sky *sob*
We will all miss him so much
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July 4th 2008
Woohoo sorrta, she’s back!!!
Dad brought De Minky back on the float last night, poor thing has been off working and stuff
The hay headed pygmy has been having riding lessons on her all week and she went to the local arena for lots of lots of circles and figures of 8’s and cantering and stuff
No wonder she looks tired, I felt a bit bad for her having to do all that work so I let her have the hay first.
Gee I’m a top horse Actually I only did it cos I fancied a bonk
July 3rd 2008
They took my baby away from me
They took De Minky off in the float on Tuesday and I haven’t seen her since.
I was just getting use to her as well, oh well she was a bossy moohead anyway
Now it’s back to just me and grumble guts Toothy, oh what bliss meh!!
July 1st 2008
Hoof and a kick for the first of the Month, no returns, white fluffy things with big teeth and white round tails that eats carrots and stuff and all that.
Anyway, my bad
I just remembered why I liked being in a paddock with all my gelding mates, not cos I’m gay cos I’m not, or at least Cherry says I’m not after that night down in the bottom paddock last summer, or was it BFM? Actually might have been Mouse, anyway.. It’s cos mares give me the shits.
So there I am in my paddock just minding my own business and along comes “De Minky” next minute she’s giving it all that, oi Bazz move over that way, quit your wind sucking, let me have the water first, blah blah. I’m like what the …..?
So De Minky says she gets to call the shots in the paddock cos she’s the Alpha mare, I’m err ok, your the only mare Monkey, I mean Minky, but whateverrrrr!!!!
I remember the last mare that tried to convince me they were boss of my paddock and that got sorted pretty quick, BFM never did like me after that
Anyway, go on then, I’ll indulge you cos I’m bored and it’s either that or listen to Toothy talking about some gobbledeegook.
So I spent the afternoon getting herded by some stumpy 14hh mare on testosterone She seemed pretty pleased with herself being the boss and all that.
Later in the afternoon I see this pygmy walking to the stable, and I’m thinking what’s that all about then, and then I remembered Dad had gone away for the weekend somewhere so it must be the neigh-bors pygmy coming to feed us.
Sure enough across the paddock she comes, hay in hand and pops it in the feed bath. Next thing De Minky heads straight for the feed. NOOOOOOOO NOT THE HAY!!!!
Well that was that. Teeth in arse, De Minky runs off, my teeth are still attached to her rug…rippppppppppp!!!!.
Whooops Oh bugger, Dad is soooo going to be mad at me.
There is now a foot long rip in her new rug and Dad will have to take it to the saddle shop to get fixed, no idea how I’m going to get off of this one, maybe I’ll blame Toothy Either way De Minky has now decided to re-think the whole boss of the paddock thing What, no, really
And for all of you that are going to tell me off, don’t start!!! I only bit the rug, I didn’t bite her bum, anyway I still have plans for that
Oh behave Bazz
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June 22nd 2008
NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! THEY HAVE TAKEN HER AWAY
OMG I have never cried so much, the hay headed pygmy came and got Minky and put a head stall on her and an rope and took my baby away from me
One minute I’m talking to her and the next minute she’s gone.
I’m running up and down the fence line trying to find her and I’m shouting out for her “OI HORN BAG” but nothing
Oh hold on!!! opps, the hay head was walking her behind the stable
She’s back in the paddock again now Duh I feel so silly.
Dad said if I’m a good boy he will take her rug off later so I can see her nekid … yeah me be good
He also said that Cherry found out about my new mare friend and is not too happy about it, opps.
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June 21st 2008
OMG!!! OMMMMGGGG!!!!!!
You are so not going to believe this. Ok you will cos I’m telling you and it’s true, but anyway…
Dad turned up earlier with the mobile dunny and I’m like ohhh noooo here we go again. Err bye Taffy, nice to see you again, blah blah, bugger off, oh hang on, what if I’m going??? Ohhh nooo, I like it here with dad, that’s not fair
Both me and Taffy are looking at the float wondering which one of us is going and the hay headed pygmy came over and grabbed Taffy, so I’m like phewwwwww!!!! Well Taffy mate, no doubt I will see you again, you take care eh, The pygmy told Taffy he was going to see Cherry, Nobby, Clarity and the rest of the old gang, and he’s like, thank god for that, seriously that bloody hobbit was driving me mad, Bazz mate you are so welcome to him
Well that’s that I thought to myself, of well I don’t mind toothy to be honest. I know he goes on and on and all that but you just gotta respect that hair
Anyway the mobile dunny door comes down to let Taffy in and just about to say my final goodbyes to Taffy when I’m like AIRRRR HAIRRRR LAIRRRR, inside the dunny is this yummy looking light bay mare.
Dad gets her off the float and walks her over to my paddock. Here you go Bazz, thought you might like some company. Jeez Dad you beauty. Dad introduced me to my new paddock mate / squeeze “Minky” the 14.2hh Australian Stock / Quarter horse cross.
Dad decided that the hay headed pygmy was just a bit big for Taffy and she needed something a little bigger for Pony Club. Hay head can still ride Taffy to Pony Club for a little while and then switch to Minky. All I got out of that was Bazz you don’t have to go to Pony Club Sorted, and I get a horny mare to oggle at all day
I’m in lurvvvveeee.
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June 20th 2008
Cor blimey trousers. I rekon the hackers visit this site more than anyone else does Really you people need to go get out, meet people and stuff rather than sitting in your sad little darken rooms hacking peoples websites.
Anyway no harm done, fixed in 2 minutes as always, lost a few posts cos Dad didn’t back up the database AGAIN!!! but well, it was all melancholy dribble anyway
What did you miss since May 26th? Welll Nobby left the building. Dad sent him away for some re-education and that was for the running off bit and the not getting in the float bit. They had to drug him again to get him floated and since then he has been working hard every day That will teach him, tried to warn him, but what do you do eh.
Taffy came back the day Nobby left, twas good to see him and we had a good catch up gossip, he really didn’t quite know what to make of Toothy, kept saying someone really needs to hoof that grumbling hobbit. Three weeks later he’s still driving Taffy mad, just as Taffy starts drifting off to sleep, Toothy rocks up and starts moaning on about something or other.
Oh yeah and Dad went off on a melancholy bend fest and had a major sook about not wanting to update the site anymore, personally I think he’s just lazy which is a big statement coming from me and all that, maybe he just needs me to give him a big hug.
May 26th 2008
Opps Nobby is in the satans puppies stable again dog house for you ‘Umans.
The hay headed pygmy took Nobby out for a ride and he was fussing a bit when she was getting him saddled but he was ok, and then she took him out of the main paddock gate to the road and went out for a ride on him.
Next minute, all hell has broken loose. He only got about 700m up the road before he went into a panic cos he missed me so much. What a poof. Anyway the pygmy gets off him and when she is off, he rears up like Silver on the loan arranger, and bolts home. He comes screaching to a stop at the front gate.
Bazz mate let me back in!!
Get stuffed Nobby, go away you are suppose to be off having a ride.
But I miss you and I don’t want to be away from you!
Oh ffs Nobby, seriously!!! That’s just pathetic.
Anyway Nobby decided he is going to go try and find a hole in the fortified electric fence and starts running up and down the fence line, so I started chasing up and down with him, it was so funny, he had the sooks on big time
Bazzzzzz just let me in!!
Next minute dad comes out of the house stable to see what’s going on.
Turns out the hay headed pygmy had called dad on the phone thingy and he was not impressed.
He opened the gate and Nobby ran in and then started doing laps of the house paddock. Dad just stood there waiting for Nobby to finish. Eventually he settled down and Dad got him untacked, I’m still laughing at Nobby
Dad just turns around and say’s “Not sure why you find this so funny Bazz, looks like you will be going to Pony Club now if the Hay head can’t ride Nobby”
Err gulp!!!!
May 23rd 2008
Mental note to self, Dad comes home early on Fridays!!!
Why do I keep forgetting that, bit of an awkward moment in the paddock when Dad came up the road and saw me and Nobby hooning around the paddock It was bloody Nobby’s fault.
Actually to be fair it was Toothys fault, he had been winding Nobby up all day, muttering and gibbering absolute bollox to the point where Nobby couldn’t take anymore of it.
I’m just minding my own business in the stable paddock and next minute I hear Nobby yell out “JUST STFU YOU HAIRY LITTLE MONG HEADED HOBBIT” Puhahah, what the???
And then Nobby has gone mental, he chasing toothy around the main paddock yelling at him and toothy is letting out these pig roots at Nobby, oh it was all too much. It was hysterical. I started laughing which set Toothy off, which made Nobby even madder than he was already.
He’s now galloping around the paddock bucking as he’s going, Toothy has ducked between the trees to escape the wrath of Nobby and Nobby is just getting more and more pissed.
He is now literaly doing laps LOL well that was it, the racehorse in me kicked in. I started galloping up and down the fence line winding up Nobby… Too slow mate!!! This is a gallop no-nuts, with that a did this huge bolt and flew along the fence line and screamed to a halt at the gate.
errrr, hi Dad. You’re err home early.
Hows the hoof feeling today Bazzy?
errrrr urrrmmmm ahhhh… It was Nobby.
Yeah right Bazz, well drag that poor sore hoof of yours over to the barn so I can change your dressing, and yes you can stay in this paddock, just take it easy will you please you stoopid doof.
Phewww!!!! Again
Dad was actually really good, he went out and got me a hoof care kit so I have a nice hoof cover on now to keep it all dry and keep the medicine in, he was really happy with it and said it was healing really well. He gave the hole a poke when he put the medicine in and it didn’t hurt or anything so he says maybe a couple of more days and he will take the dressing off, and I can stay in the stable paddock over the weekend cos he wants me to eat the grass!!!!
Sorted, I loves me Dad.
May 22nd 2008
Poor old Dad, he came home early from work today, not at all well. He picked up a virus thingy and was all sleepy and achey. He gave me some of my medicine and went inside the big stable for most of the day.
He came out a little later to go pick up one of the pygmies and was just about to drive off when he stopped the Jeep, got out and walked up to me and asked why I wasn’t limping.
I’m like err I was, honest, ouch my hoof.
He’s looking at me with that “Bazz you’re lying again” look on his face, god I hate that.
So I’m just stood there, I can’t move cos he will figure out that I’m not actually limping anymore, I tried lifting my leg up so it looked like it was hurting but I could tell he wasn’t buying any of it.
So do I have to go back to the main paddock now?
He said I didn’t, I could stay in the stable paddock, he was just pleased I wasn’t in pain anymore.
Phewwwww!!!!! That was close.
May 18th 2008
Horraayyy!!! Dad came home this afternoon.
He has been away for the weekend and had organised for one of local pygmies to come feed us when he was gone.
Not one bloody carrot!!! Not one I tell ya, and I bet she gave the new house panther a treat.
Anyway I let Dad know I was needing some attention and he gave me the biggest rub and cuddle and stuff.
He told me on Friday when he was at work a Pig wandered in to his factory, this is in the City by the way, not here in the country where we live but in the middle of Melbourne. I laughed so hard when he showed me the photo on his phone.
Anyway Dad went back into the big stable and came back out a little later and started painting the mobile dunny again, it’s starting to look right good, Dad was cussing like mad though because as soon as he painted a section these little flies came and landed on the bit he just painted… haha brilliant.
It should be all finished in a couple of weeks and I’ll get dad to pop up some pictures.
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May 12th 2008
Happy Mooooooothers Day to everyone in Hamerica and anywhere else that’s Moooooooothers Day today
Sorry, got cows on the brain still.
I tried to outstare one of them yesterday, jesus they just don’t give up do they. Bog eyed muppets all of em, and they can’t run to save their lives, which might explain why dads always cooking them, so glad I can run super fast
This one moo was just stood still for like half an hour just staring and staring, I lasted about 30 seconds before I had to eat something again. Even Nobby was like, so what’s that all about then Bazz.
Maybe she’s stuck and can’t mooooooove
Anyway finally she wanders over to the fence and went to stick her head in to get some of my hay that had blown across the paddock. I was just about to shout OMG NOOOOOOOO NOT THE HAY!!! when Toothy went over and started having a go at her.
It was so funny, little critter had his ears back and everything and started grumbling away at her big time, she must have thought he was some physco nut bag (which he is btw) and backed off and ran back to her herd.
Me and Nobby started laughing and it was even funnier cos Toothy had worked himself into a right state and was going right off about how they have all that grass but they still tried to steal our hay, I’m like, bitch be cool, but he wasn’t a happy chappy bless him.
Dad came out a little later and started messing with my Dunny, he had this big noisy thing that sprayed stuff all over the float, when he had finished it was looking all clean and shiny. Dad said he had just painted it so it looks nice and he’s going to start on me next cos he wants me to have loads of white like Cherry
Silly man, trot along before I have to flick a food bucket at you as well.
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May 9th 2008
BOO!!!!!!
It’s ok I’m still alive.
Sorry for the delay in my updates but my Dad (BFI) blew up his computer thingy when he stuck a screwdriver in it and forgot to turn off the ‘lectric first, guess now he knows how I feel about the paddock fence
So what have you missed?
Wellllll, dad got a new bazzmobile floaty dunny thing off of eHay so he can try getting Nobby off to Pony Club. We shall see I’ll get dad to post some pics at the weekend seeing as he has had such a long break from webby stuff.
It was so foggy this morning I lost Nobby in the paddock. I called out to him and he started mooing to me, I’m like that’s so funny Nobby, think I’ll have to hoof you for that. I went over to where I could hear Nobby and still couldn’t see him, and then as I got closure he started taking shape and then i realised it was one of those stoopid cows in the next paddock I could hear Nobby laughing at me off to the side and then about 10 of the cows came up to the fence and started mooing at me.
Jesus things people do to keep themselves entertained!! Oh well got bored of that and flicked my feed bin over the fence at one of the cows and they all run off. Me and Nobby were in fits, Toothy was grumbling on about cruelty to animals, hugging trees and god knows what else. We were still laughing when dad came to feed us, he’s looking around for the feed bin which is now over in the next paddock but he can’t see it because of the fog.
I’m stood there pointing my ears at Nobby as if to say it was him, he did it Dad ended up having to get the spare bin from the stable, now all I have to do is figure out how to get the bin back before the fog lifts and dad see’s it.
I was thinking of just asking the cows if I can have my bowl back Maybe I’ll con them into a game of volley bucket and quit as soon as they flick it over the fence.
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April 28th 2008
Well I never….
I found out from dad today that the BFM Bonnie is living just up the road from me, I wondered what the pong was, that will be those huge poo piles of hers.
Remember BFM got sold last year cos she was all marey and bit my Dad.
Well she went to a new ‘uman miles and miles away and the new ‘uman couldn’t cope with her or something cos she was problematic, no shit LOL
Anyway they sold her to a local riding school about 6km’s away for $100 …. ouch
Think they will use her as a broodmare or something, just hope they don’t coming begging me to service her, she might bite me
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April 27th 2008
Wooohhooooo I won the final race, obvious result really, home turf, racing legend etc etc.
Anyway full details are in the racing section, other than me blitzing the field it was pretty close and the top four changed so much I had no idea who was behind me.
Congrats to Indy in V.A who ended up as the over all points winner behind me, and to be fair he did beat me in one of the races, only cos I was pacing myself
Indy can you get your mom to email me your address so I can get dad to send you your winners rug.
Thanks to everyone that registered over the three races and for those that ran, top effort everyone.
I’m off to go hit the winners bath with a couple of mares and some champagne
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April 25th 2008
Wooohooo look at me.
Me, me , me , me , me. It’s all about me by the way.
Dad put my new rug on earlier which came from my brilliant sponsor Carousel Equine Apparel (www.carouselequine.com.au)
The winner of the big race this weekend will also get a winners rug handmade by them but not the same cos there is only one me.
God I look hot :)
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April 23rd 2008
Ho-hum
Sorry guys, phantom idiot has returned again.
Site was hacked again this morning. Same idiot as last time.
Anyyyywayyyy, other than about 2 mins of inconvenience it doesn’t really impact on the site.
The last race in the Bazzy Bollox Triple Crown will be run this weekend.
The bad news is anyone that registered earlier in the week, your registrations got eaten.
Might be just easier whilst wanker chops is around to email me your registrations (bazzy@bazzyboy.net) and that way if the database gets knocked off again, dad will still have them.
Also don’t forget there are points for this race and those points will be added to those from the other two races to determine the over all winner and who will get to have the exclusive Bazzy Boy winners rug made by our cool sponsor Carousel Equine Apparel
April 18th 2008
The competition entry page is now fixed so you can sign up for the last race.
Someone deleted the database (again)
Stoopid hacker, yawn, boring now!!!
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April 14th 2008
OMG!!! It’s all gone wrong.
First of all it started when the owners of dads big stable turned the electric fence on. Normally not such a big drama except we didn’t know there was an electric fence there. If we had have done, Toothy for certain wouldn’t have had his head in between it and be eating hay now, would he?
Except he was Boy I really didn’t think a horse so small could move so fast, in fact he moved so fast that both me and Nobby half near crapped ourselves and leapt out of the way, yes, that would be correct, into the fence.
Next minute me, Nobby and Toothy are all charging around the paddock trying to get away from whatever it was that zapped us. Toothy’s gob has gone into over drive and he’s carrying on like a two bob watch about getting some notice the next time.
I have turned around to tell Toothy to just shut it and there are about 30 black and white cows in the “what was an empty paddock” next to us staring at these three horses running around in circles.
How embarrasing!!!! No idea how they got there, or why they are there, they smell, they can’t run and if they even sniff my hay, the hoofs come off.
Stoopid cows!!!
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April 12th 2008
Oh whateverrrr!!!
Race results are up in the racing section for the Paris race.
Yes there were points for this race, no I didn’t win it.
Shut it!! Don’t start or I’ll hoof ya
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April 11th 2008
Wa-HAY, dad came home with a ute full of feed for us today, which was good news cos he ran out a couple of days back and hasn’t been able to get to the food store before it closes cos he’s been working.
It was sooooooooo yum. You should have heard Toothy carry on, he was grumbling for about 1/2 an hour. And then he abruptly stopped, just like that, amazing eh? Nobby reckons it was cos I hoofed him … me?
Anyway least we had loads of hay, dad said he are getting low on that now as well though, I’m like OMG NOOOOOOOO NOT THE HAY!!! So if anyone is in my neck of the woods and has some can you let my dad know please, and he will come pick it up and pay you and stuff. (no crap though cos it’s for me)
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April 8th 2008
Ho-hum, the nasty little hacker has returned again… so droll, anyway I lost the comments from the last few days, luckily I had back ups of the posts cos I had no idea what I had written That typhoon must have blown my brain away
Thanks everyone that mailed my dad to let him know. He’s been a bit slack lately actually, I might have to hoof him when he feeds me tonight. Last night dad got rid of my mobile dunny YAY!!! so now I don’t have to go in it any more, dad said he would get a bigger one for me and Nobby cos Nobby is too scared of the old one after he got traumatised in it.
Anyway I’m off to eat some hay, so bugger orf.
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March 31st 2008
Seriously …. We had a hurrican / typhoon thingy come through here yesterday, the wind was 130kmh which is nearly as fast as me and I thought poor old Toothy was going to get himself blown out of the paddock. Things were flying everywhere, all Dads stuff from the front of the big stable blew over the paddock, the hay headed pygmy couldn’t feed us because the feed just blew away. It was an absolute nightmare, nightgelding even.
And then just when i thought it couldn’t get any worse the hay stack next to dads shed took off. I’m like OMG NOOOOOOO NOT THE HAY!!!!! It went everywhere, except for near me that is. Anyway there was stuff all over the place, my hair was a mess I can tell ya, it goes all quiet and just after that dad comes home, gets out of his ute and has this “what the” look all over his face.
I just stood there looking at him exhausted after playing dodge the tree for two hours straight and Toothy is grumbling away about ozone layers, global worming or some crap, who knows what he was on about. Not a fun day I can tell you.
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March 30th 2008
Stoopid ‘Umans. There I was wide awake an hour early waiting for Dad to feed me, only to find out the clocks go back next weekend :) Anyway no harm done. I had a great day today, Dad came and got me and took me out for a ride, it was so cool, just went for a walk and I was allowed to stop to eat the long grass outside and stuff. One the of pygmies (the stumpy one) was riding Toothy. Not sure what either of them made of that :) The other pygmy (the hay headed one) led toothy on a long lead rope.
When we got back, Dad let me stay in the house paddock so I could eat all the nice green grass around the stable….yum And Dad and Hay head tried to get Nobby on the float again, no luck though :) He hasn’t floated since the time he was sold and went on that really long journey in the float. Dad reckons he was traumatised by the journey so much we might never get him back on again. Poor bloke, sorts of stuffs it up for Hay head going to Pony club next week, Dad said she might have to take me instead LOL … yeah right.
Mind you there will heaps of mares there :) … maybe I will
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March 29th 2008
Dads been busy ;) The old forum was hacked so no-one could join, so Dad has put up a new and updated forum with loads of new safety features and stuff and now everyone that wants to join can.
Sorry but it will mean having to re-register and re-upload your avatars etc. Dad also said he will try and run the Paris race later today / tomorrow so keep an eye out in the racing section.
Oh, oh, ewww, err, I forgot. Dad got a phone call the other morning from someone in Hamerica that might be writing stuff about me for their news and stuff. They are doing an article about pets / animals with websites and phoned my Dad cos mine is an award winning one
Apparantly it was someone news thingy called the New York Times, or summink like that.
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March 26th 2008
Well didn’t the comments to the last post get a bit err um, yes, well, anyway. So April is having a sprog!!! Wasn’t me ;) And it wasn’t Rum cos he was running around with his new filly / mare, and it wasn’t Nobby cos, oh never mind.
Annnyyyyyway. Dad went to work and left the hay headed pygmy in charge of things LOL ho hum, so she thought it would be a top idea to do some float practice and didn’t quite shut the gate to the big stable paddock, so me and Toothy thought it would be a good idea to crash the gate, raid the chicken hut, pounce on the haystack and eat all the hay and generally get up to mischief, like you do Poor thing!!!
What must have started out as a good idea / bonding session with her Nobby, shortly turned into a free for all, lets own the paddock fest.Lucky Dad saw the funny side of it when he came home :) He gave me a swift boot up the bum (after giving me a nice big hug and rub) and we went back into our normal paddock, feeling somewhat triumpant I might add.
Toothy raids the old chicken hut for some lush green grass
And then goes and hides in the float.
Wonder what’s under the cover then?
WOW!!! It’s a load of hay!!!
Oh yum yum yum yum yum!!!!!
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March 22nd 2008
OMG!!! That’s all I can say on that.
The second race has been run for the Paris Leg of the Triple Bollox thingy wotsit. Soooooo close.
Full details and video in the racing section along with the final 20 for the Paris Race which goes towards the points for the Triple Crown.
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March 21st 2008
Well that was a flurry of attention, not sure I was happy with all of it, mind. Dad came over to say hello earlier and brought me an apple, that was yum, and then he caught me and walked me in to the house paddock and gave me a tub of feed whilst he picked all the bot eggs of me. To be fair I had heaps after that hot spell last week and all the bots decided to go gang up on me.
I was a bit over it after 1/2 hr of dad scraping eggs of my legs and tummy and stuff, some were a bit hard for him to get to especially when I kept moving me legs He growled at me!!!
And then dad put a new bandage on my knee with all that honey stuff, and gave me loads of hugs and stuff.
And then it all started going a bit wrong!!! First he got that carot stick out and started making me do that parelli stuff and then he made me run!!! He actually lunged me!!! And he made me poop at the trot cos he thought I was only stopping cos I was lazy, and I was too scared to stop so it was sort of a case of the trots at the trot
Dad said I had to train for the big race in Paris like all the other horsies.
Think I’ll go lie down now
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March 11th 2008
I’m sorry I have been very busy of late, yesterday I played a little game called “RUN AWAY IT’S A BOT FLY” that kept me amused for most of the morning, I hid behind a tree until it found me and then I ran around the paddock kicking out all over the place until he finally went and then I hid behind another tree until he found me again.
In the afternoon I played “RUN AWAY IT’S A BOT FLY” It was a bit like the game I played in the morning except with a slight variation, this time he got two of his mates to join in and the little buggers hounded me all afternoon.
And then later, I worked out if I did a complete lap of the paddock at full gallop, bucked a few times and made the odd snorting noise, they finally gave up and went away, peace at last !!!!, the sun is out, the bot flies are gone and I’m just stood there soaking it all up, and then…. Ouch my feet!!! “RUN AWAY IT’S A BULL ANT”
I can’t bloody win !!!!
And on top of that we are in the middle of a semi heat wave thingy so I can tell you I was not a happy chappy.
Oh look here comes dad with some hay and my feed.
“Hi Bazzzzzzzy, hows ya day mate?”
“Naff off dad before I pick up Toothy and lob him at your head you big doof”
“Think I’ll just go back to the big stable then eh Bazz?”
“Top idea dad, run along”
Sigh …….
March 3rd 2008
Well who’s a clever ‘Uman then? Dad put your hand down you idiot.
Firstly there are bugger all flies around at night, secondly when you leave a horsies fly screen on and it gets dark, they can’t see anything, like that tree stump for example.
So yes I’m moody today, yes my knee hurts thank you for asking, YES IT’S YOUR FRIGGIN FAULT, yes I still love you, now where is my breakfast?
Sigh…
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March 2nd 2008
Oh my oh my
Well he fixed it Dad came over with his arms full of plastic pipes, metal pipes, and water building stuff and fixed up the water pipe so I now have water again woo hoo.
But he wasn’t too happy with me about it. He’s on his knees trying to connect the new pipe in the hole in the ground and next minute he’s started cussing like mad and slapping his knee, the bull ants had bitten him right on his knee cap. He’s jumped up and is cussing at me and then he’s let out this big yelp and dropped his jeans right in the middle of the paddock PUHHAAHAH. I’m like err dad put it away mate
Couple of bull ants had climbed up the inside of his jeans leg and had bitten him on the bum OMGGGGGG it’s too funny. He’s running in circles cussing, with his jeans around his ankles slapping at his bum. Poor old Nobby had tears running down his face, toothy is wide eyed with a OMG look on his face and I’m steadily backing up into the tree’s ready to duck for cover.
Dads looked at me and started laughing, he looked so funny. Oh my I’m never going to let him forget this
March 1st 2008
opps my bad
Dad growled at me big time last night cos I broke the water pipe, actually I pulled it clean out of the ground oops. We have this water pipe that feeds water from the tank to our paddock. Last night dad had to dig a big hole to find the end of the pipe that is under the ground and then he had to make a temporary join so that he could give us some water. The hole he dug was right on top of this bull ants nest, so he’s on his knees trying to connect a pipe, there is water going everywhere and the ants kept hanging on to my dads arms and hands and biting him. Oh dear. One crawled up his leg ..eeek you should have heard him LOL
These ants are like an inch long and have a real nasty nip, so all I could hear for half an hour was “OWWW!! BAZZZZZZZZ” “OWWW!! BAZZZZZZZZ” “OWWW!! BAZZZZZZZZ” “OWWW!! BAZZZZZZZZ” “OWWW!! BAZZZZZZZZ I’M GOING TO FRIGGIN KILL YOU”
I think I’ll go hide in the trees for a couple of days
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February 27th 2008
We got some hay, woohoo!!!
My dad came home tonight with his UTE full of hay. There was loads of it everywhere, I’m like err yummmmm. I was jumping around trying to get his attention “bring it to me, bring it to me” He went and stuck it all in the shed
Mind you I don’t think I could have eaten it all in one go anyway LOL, would have tried though.
February 25th 2008
Settle down, don’t have a go at me cos my blog hasn’t been updated, it’s my slack arse Dads fault
To be fair he’s been really busy with his new job and I have seen his stable light go off earlier in the evening cos he’s off to bed early, still a slacker though if you ask me, anyway despite what some people think, he’s not off Jeeping or playing his PS3 and spending all his time fluffying around me, mind you I do get my daily dose of big hugs and scratches and stuff so I’m happy
Anyyyyway, Nobby has the sooks tonight, the hay headed pygmy made him do some work :) even put a saddle on him and took him for a ride, poor bloke didn’t have a clue what had hit him and if that wasn’t funny enough she is training him to get on the float so he had to eat his dinner from inside the float. I was actually impressed, he actually got on it all by himself, I was half expecting him to have one of his rearing hissy fits but for once he was behaving.
Even Toothy was impressed, he started grumbling on about something or other that had bugger all to do with what was going on so I could tell he was excited.
I’ll try and get Dad to put up a picture of Nobby eating his dinner on the float just so April will believe me
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February 21st 2008
Stranger warning…stranger warning!!!
The hay headed pygmy invited her friend around to the big stable and she turned up on a horsie, I saw it about 500m away so I’m like…go away, flee, step away from the cookie jar!!!
Anyway next thing, it turns into our paddock and the other pygmy tied it to a tree near our gate and disappered into the big stable.
Me and Nobby are both stood at the gate looking at this weird looking horsie, it was all white with these big brown splats all over it. It looked like it got a bit too close to Cherry when she did one of those huge sloppy farts of hers
So we are stood there going “OI!!! who are you?” “errr I’m a horsie” splatty replies.
Like no, what, really, nah your teasing us aren’t you? We can see your a horsie you idiot, I mean what you doing here?
Anyway, turns out ol’ splatty wasn’t that bad a dude to chat to. He only lives up the road and said his mom said she would come up on him to see my dads pygmy, so he may be seeing us quite a bit.
Coooool, we got a new friend
February 20th 2008
I got a valentine, woohoo Buddy sent me a valentines card all they way from Hamerica. I can’t believe it. Dad was miffed cos he didn’t get one but his horsie did, he said something about it being totally ducked or something like that
THANKS BUDDY !!!!
Dad had be going a good one today, he went off with the mobile dunny this morning and I’m like, hmmmm what’s he up to. I figured out we had another horsie coming, I was so excited. When he came back like hours later I was running up the fence line, neighing like crazy, flicking my head in the air and pig rooting and stuff to show the new sexy looking mare what a prize stallion I am.
He pulls up and opens the back and I’m like cool it’s a, err, eh? A set of golf clubs!!!!!
I’m like wtf is that!!! I have been going out of my mind all afternoon thinking you were going to get another horsie and you come back with an empty dunny and some golf clubs. That was so unfair he could have just stuck those in the Jeep.
Dad told me to settle down and quit getting all tempremental, and I’m like well fair dinkum Dad I was really expecting you to bring me another horsie to play with, he goes no, I needed the float to take a load of stuff to the dump, so I’m thinking it would have been nice to know that this morning, and then I realised what he just said and I’m like bloody hell dad that’s my Dunny, now I have to go in a stinky dunny cos you went and used it to cart rubbish around in it. THAT’S SO WRONG!!!
And then the cheeky doof turns around and says, Bazz mate you have only ever been in the stupid thing once in nearly a year, get over it.. He has a point I suppose
February 19th 2008
ok, this is just getting silly now. Earlier I was standing in the paddock minding my own. Dad walks into the shed, well not actually in like, “He walked into the shed…ouch” type thing, more of a walked through the door of the shed, anyway,he then grabs some feed, walks over to me and pops it in my food bin. I’m stood there chomping away and the next thing I can hear my tummy making weird noises, it was like it was muttering or something like that.
I look down and there underneath my tummy is Toothy the mutant ninja hobit elf dwarf things head tring to reach into my feed bin, and if that wasn’t bad enough, the senile old git was jabbering to himself about how hot it was today.
He tried to walk underneath me!!!!! to get my hay!!! So I’m like, OMG Nooooo not the hay!!!
I was seriously thinking of hoofing him one, proberbly not a nice thing to do, especially with cod face Nobby just staring at him wondering if I was really going to squash a horsie no bigger than my knee just because he wanted some food. So I just bit him instead.
How was that for compassion eh?
I might be a fearsome warrior type steed and all that, but I’m not an animal.
Oh bugger, yeah I am, oh well I mean I’m not an animal, animal. Or whatever….shut up!!!
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February 18th 2008
Ho hum.
Dad had to fire someone that worked for him before Christmas and this ‘Uman has decided to take it out on my website
You might notice wierd things happening, things not working, pages disappearing etc. Anyway, the Police have been notified so can’t say too much, just wanted to let you know what was going on.
Dad is trying to keep the site up and running, forum is bust for now (actually it’s working just you will either need to join again or wait till Dad loads the member list ) and so are the postcards, otherwise the rest is all working and easy to restore when he hacks in again.
February 16th 2008
Ouch Nobby had a lie down on top of a bull ants nest, silly duffer. Got himself bitten all over one side but the funniest one was the bite right on his bottom.
You should have seen him jump up in the air after that one LOL.
Actually I’m not sure what’s going on with him at the moment, scared of his own shadow, which is most unlike Nobby. I guess the tree in our paddock falling down didn’t help. It wasn’t a big one like the other day and when I say fell down, I actually meant I leant against it and broke it when having a scratch Don’t tell me dad or he will growl at me for sure.
It was so warm today as well, not that has anything to do with falling trees and lumps on Nobby’s bum, I just thought I would mention it.
February 14th 2008
God I’m knackered
Well that was a tough run race, about 1 second between the top dozen runners.
The video is on the media page (In the video section about half way down the page) if you want to watch the race.
For those that can’t wait any longer, here are the results of the first race.
Oh and don’t forget to re-register (use the banner at the top of the home page and fill the form in) to take part in the second race in Paris (which is in Frenchy).
The first 20 entries will run and the points are gained over all three races so you still have a chance to win even if you didn’t take part in the first race.
There will be a prize, and no I can’t win it So whoever ends up with the most points other than me, scoops the prize. And no I don’t know what it is yet
Anyway first race results and points as follows
Place 1st - Points 12 - Me (Bazzy Boy)
Place 2nd - Points 10 - Willow
Place 3rd - Points 8 - Indy in VA
Place 4th - Points 7 - Nobby No-nuts
Place 5th - Points 6 - Stardust
Place 6th - Points 5 - Tommy Boy
Place 7th - Points 4 - Magno
Place 8th - Points 3 - Angus
Place 9th - Points 2 - Blu
Place 10th - Points 1 - Holly
Place 11th - Points 0 - Madam Pago
Place 12th - Points 0 - Pour The Drinks
Place 13th - Points 0 - Disco
Place 14th - Points 0 - Toby
Place 15th - Points 0 - Amir Mortal
Place 16th - Points 0 - Trixie
Place 17th - Points 0 - Barney’s Dancer
Place 18th - Points 0 - Miracle
Place 19th - Points 0 - Buddy
Place 20th - Points 0 - April (Opps, haha)
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February 13th 2008
Bloody Nora!! Strewth!! What the??
Got scared to death last night. There I was minding my own business, actually that’s not quite true because I was talking to Nobby about his fetish for gelding hobbit ponies, which technically is his business, but anyway, next second there is an almighty loud crack and then a groan and then this sort of long pause which was just about long enough time for me to look up and wonder why half a tree was heading in my direction, followed by this huge ground trembling thump.
Bloody tree in the next paddock has gone all emo and decided to split in half, break apart, crash to the ground and land about 2m away from my paddock fence.
This by the way is a pretty big tree, well now it’s not, now it’s more like half a pretty big tree and a heap of firewood.
I’m like bloody hell Nobby did you see that? And he’s just looking at me with that clueless stunned cod like face of his, obviously no idea what just happened. I flicked my head and what was left of the tree next to the fence, and he’s like, so how did that get there?
Sigh….
Not sure what concerned dad more, the big pile of tree by the paddock fence or the big pile of poo from where I was standing when the tree fell
Anyway nuff of that. Quick update on the race
We can actually have up to 20 runners in the race so I have added 3 more horsies. So the final line up will be. (And running order)
Number 1 - Gate 6 - Me (Bazzy Boy)
Number 2 - Gate 2 - Indy in VA
Number 3 - Gate 5 - Angus
Number 4 - Gate 18 - Blu
Number 5 - Gate 3 - Disco
Number 6 - Gate 9 - Holly
Number 7 - Gate 7 - Stardust
Number 8 - Gate 1 - Toby
Number 9 - Gate 10 - Trixie
Number 10 - Gate 8 - Willow
Number 11 - Gate 12 - Amir Mortal
Number 12 - Gate 15 - Tommy Boy
Number 13 - Gate 17 - Barney’s Dancer
Number 14 - Gate 13 - Madam Pago
Number 15 - Gate 11 - Magno
Number 16 - Gate 20 - Nobby No-nuts
Number 17 - Gate 14 - Miracle
Number 18 - Gate 16 - Pour The Drinks
Number 19 - Gate 19 - Buddy
Number 20 - Gate 4 - April
Dad is going to run the race today so the results will be up a little later + the video
I’m sooooo excited.
Should be fun with such a large field, especially if you happen to get boxed in on the rails
The number of your horse (i.e number 1) will appear on your horse and will feature in the commentary, so look / listen out for it. The gate number is random but will give you an idea where in the starting gate it will be.
February 12th 2008
Get ready for the first big race of the 2008 Bazzy Bollox Triple Crown, err woohoo
Dad finally found the game err I mean all the horsies are able to get to Epsom for the race.
The line up is as follows; Sorry to all those that didn’t make this Months race but there are only 16 runners in the field.
1 Bazzy Boy
2 Indy in VA
3 April
4 Disco
5 Angus
6 Stardust
7 Willow
8 Holly
9 Magno
10 Amir Mortal
11 Madam Pago
12 Miracle
13 Tommy Boy
14 Trixie
15 Pour The Drinks
16 Barney’s Dancer (Bella)
Keep your ears up for the results which will be up as soon as Dad extracts his head from his bottom
I’m going to win anyway so don’t get too excited Mind you Indy got a tad close the last time so maybe I wont. Maybe I’ll just run at the back taking big bites out of Aprils butt so she doesn’t come last again
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February 11th 2008
No idea how this works but it was dads born day yesterday and I was the one that got loads of carrots
He came and saw me heaps and gave me loads of hugs and he also brought the bazzmobil mobile dunny home full of hay!!! WOOOHOO!!!
Annnnnnndd he let us into the big house paddock so we could munch on some nice green grass and stuff. I wish it was his born day every day
I’m really worried about Toothy. Only worried cos I’m getting real close to sitting on him Bloody thing still hasn’t stopped talking it’s been like a whole week now. I thought it was just him but all the mare ponies are like it too. Damn hobbits, sounds like a flock of gibbering loonies here at feeding time, even Nobby can’t cope with it and heads straight for the other end of the paddock when they turn up.
Dad said he will put some photos up of them when he see’s them next cos man they have the weirdest hair things going on Dad says one looks just like Tina Turner, whoever he is
Oh and dad stuck my windsucking collar back on me today. I was trying to work out how he knew I’d been windsucking, he reckons it might have something to do with the fence post being half the height it used to be was a bit of a give away
February 7th 2008
Gosh my Dad is such a slacker
He just started a new job so has been real busy, which is great, but not much help for my blog
Also means I havn’t seen much of him during the day but I get loads of hugs when he gets back, and hay, and carots, and chaff and more hugs
Not much has been happening to be honest, just getting wet. Looks like the drought has finally come to an end cos it’s been raining here most of the week.
Nobby is behaving himself, maybe, sorrta. Still needs a bite on the bum now and again to remind him who the boss is, and Toothy, cute as he is just wont stop bloody talking. He just wanders around the paddock jibbering to himself all day. Mutter mutter mutter, grumble, grumble.. senile old goat!!!
You should hear him when my dad comes out to feed us, he nickers for like 15 mins non stop, no bloody idea what he’s going on about, something about how us young bucks have it so easy and in his day… blah blah blah… whateverrrrrr
If he wasn’t so cute with that long hair thing going on I swear I’d have booted him into the other paddock by now. Err bless him
February 4th 2008
He he he.
I’m so glad No-Nuts is back.
I taught him to wind suck today Much to the hay heads annoyance.
It was really funny until he started to wind suck MY wind sucking post. Like there are about 40 posts to chose from and he goes and picks on my favourite one!!!
Well I wasn’t having that, so ears back and bite on the bum time it is then
Nobby was like, “Bloody hell Bazz what you do that for?”
Err cos your here!!!
Tomorrow I’m going to teach Toothy to stand on the ‘Umans washy bath thing so he can wind suck posts too.
How funny would that be to see my dads face when he pulls up in the jeep and me, Nobby and Toothy are all wind sucking on the same post PUHAHAH
February 3rd 2008
Well dad finally got the photo thingies off his camera thingy so here is my new paddock fodder, I mean mate Toothy
Toothy having a bad hair life
Puhahhaha bless him!!!
Check out the big fella, isn’t he cute, sorrta, maybe
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February 2nd 2008 (Special edition - Long)
OMG!!!!!!!!!
OMGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!
Well what a day that was. Today a truck turns up and my new paddock mate “2e” comes out. I thought he was named after a beer but my dad was just tricking, it’s 2 E not toohey, oh well so seeing as he’s so bloody old, Toothy it is
Toothy by the way is a 150 year old Shetland pony, 2 hands high and with the most bizarre hair thing going on.
Anyway toothy comes into my paddock and poor bloke really doesn’t know what to make of me, he tried herding me around the paddock at first until he realised I was ignoring him and going the other way, and then he tried to pig root me LOL, he’s about the height of my knee’s, what on earth was he thinking? I was going to hoof him back but didn’t want Dad shouting at me for launching him into the next suburb.
And then he tried to eat my hay!!!, my hay!!!! what the!!! anyway one bite on the arse later and I think he got the whole deal about who the boss of the paddock is.
He’s cute in a “opps sorry you seem to be stuck in my hoof” sortta way, but I do miss a horsie I can make eye contact with without having to lie down to do it.
Annnyyyyyyyywayyyyy, that’s not the reason why I’m so excited.
Dad and the pygmies went off this morning which left me most of the day enjoying watching toothy fall into the rabbit warrens, just as it started to get late, and my tummy started to go “where’s my bleeding food” I see my Bazzmobil coming down the road towards the house. Oh god, now what? I’ve only just got here.
Hold on, I smell a horsie.
OMG!!!!! You are so not going to believe this!!!
The horsie has turned itself about in the mobile dunny, so when dad turned around in the paddock to off load the horsie, there looking out over the back of the rear door is NOBBY!!!!!
OMG!!!!! NOBBY!!!!
I was stunned, I’m just looking at him like I had just seen a ghost, and then, and don’t ask me why I go running up the fenceline like a loony, neighing “Nobby is here, nobby is here” poor old toothy has just scarpered off to the other side of the paddock.
Dad lets down the back of the dunny and out strolls Nobby, looking all smiles.
“BAZZZZAAAAAA”
Dad gets the hay headed pygmy to open the gate to let Nobby in, before she knows what’s happening Toothy has bolted into the big stable paddock. Dad has lost his mind at her and is shouting something about imbeciles so I figured now was a good time to be a pain in the butt and pushed past hay head into the stable paddock too.
Dad has put Nobby in my normal paddock, he trying to catch Toothy, I’m galloping laps around the stable cos I’m so excited to see Nobby. Nobby is charging up and down the fence line trying to work out how to get into the paddock I’m in.
Poor old Dad, just sat on the ground and went “That’s f***ed”
Finally he managed to get me and Toothy back into the paddock with Nobby.
Poor old Toothy by this stage was totally traumatised by us two giant geldings hooning around the paddock, when my dad went to drop the dunny back Toothy was running towards the dunny neighing at dad “Take me with you!!!” PMSL, bless him
Just before he left, Dad went and got us some hay. Me and Nobby had a feed and a good catch up chat.
You are so not going to believe this next bit!!! I was laughing so hard I had wee coming down my legs and so many tears in my eyes I head butted my feed bin laughing so hard. Get this!!!
As you know Nobby left the old paddock last week. He had been sold him to this ‘Uman the about 4 hours away. Anyway turns out she didn’t want him cos “he wasn’t educated enough” PUHAHAHA ahhhhhh sigh, could have told you he was stoopid and saved everyone a lot of trouble, why people never ask us horsies I’ll never know.
Turns out Dad bought him for hay head to ride and so I could have him back with me again as my paddock mate.
Wooohooo way to go Dad.
Nobby is back Oh boy this is going to be sooooo cool.
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January 31st 2008
Tum tee tum, la la la, diddly doo, fa la la.
BORED!!!!
Tree, no tree, tree, no tree, ouch tree, bugger!!! didn’t see that one.
I know I’ll play this little piggy, right, this little piggy went to market. OH BUM, I only have one toe. Well that killed that then.
Ahhh I know, I spy with my little eye something begining with tree, agggghhhhhh now I gave it away and know what it is
Hmmmmmpppffff, sighhhhh.
Oh look it’s Dad, I’ll go hide behind one of these tree’s that will scare him into thinking I have bolted from the paddock.
“Oi fat knacker, get out from behind the tree ya big doof”
Bloody hell Dad what you go spoil it for!!!
I asked Dad when my new friend was coming and he said it would be in a couple of days so I’d just have to hang out until then, oh and he said he had a big surprise for me tomorrow but wouldn’t tell me what it is, something to do with the hay headed pygmy??
ohhhhh, I like surprises, hope it’s something to do with a carrot.
January 30th 2008
OMG!!!! I have been evicted
BAZZY HAS LEFT THE BUILDING!!!
Well that was one hell of a “what the” day.
Hold yer horses I’m getting there. Dad came to the big stable today with the bazzmobil (my mobile dunny) I thought either another horsie was coming or one of the others was going. Dad comes up to me and put my headstall on and leads me up to the dunny. I’m like, oh crap this ain’t good.
I told Dad I didn’t want to go and I didn’t want a new ‘Uman or go to the nasty place that old horsies go. All he said was “you do trust me don’t you Bazzy?” and I’m like “err yeah Dad, I’m just scared” and then he said, Bazz just jump on the float there’s a good fella, so I did. I walked on first time, no fuss. Dad was so pleased with me.
When the back gate was up Dad got in the float with me and said he was taking me to a new paddock, I’m like noooo I wanna stay with you!! And he said “You will be bazz, I have a big stable there and will see you every day” he then told me the ‘Umans that own the property next door have a paddock with 28 mares in it!!!!!
28 Mares!!! Bloody hell, it will drop off I know it
I heard the Jeep start up and away we went. And that was the end of my time in the paddock at Buninyong, at least for now. I will miss it but I couldn’t help thinking along the way to my new home 28 MARES!!!!
We didn’t go that far. It took about the time to eat a few carrots, the road was a bit bumpy but before I had time to get uncomfortable, I was there.
Dad opened up the Bazzmobil and I backed off and walked into my new home.
It’s not as big as Buninyong but has loads of trees for shelter and water on tap which is pumped from the dam. My Dads stable is about 50m away so I can see him all the time now.
There is also another paddock where the stable is that Dad said once I have settled he will let me come into.
I had a good look around my new paddock and settled real quick, it’s really cool, I have loads of things to windsuck and then from the distance I saw this movement of horsies coming towards me OMG!!! There really is 28 mares.
I’m in heaven!!! Hang on, something isn’t quite right here. Arn’t they suppose to get like bigger as they get nearer. 2 mins later I have 28 bloody shetland ponies looking at me. DAD!!!!! You bugger.
They are all mares Bazz honest.
Oh very f****** funny
Even I could see the funny side of it. I didn’t really care, I was just happy to be with Dad, didn’t need the chorus of “hey big boy!!!” from 28 short arsed mares though
Me and Dad had a walk around the paddock together and I got loads of hugs and scratches.
And then Dad said “Oh yeah Bazz I forgot, you will have a new buddy come stay with you tomorrow, his name is Toohey, he’s named after a famous Australian beer so he can’t be all bad He’s looking forward to seeing you so be nice, and yes he is small so don’t sit on him ok
And the straw headed pygmy will be getting another horsie soon so you will have some new friends to torment.”
So here I am in my new paddock waiting to meet my new friends and looking forward to some great new adventures.
Anyway for anyone interested, here are the photo thingies Dad took
Yeah cool Dad but I ain’t getting back in it
What the heck!!! Is that my 28 mares??? Wooo hooo
You have to be kidding!! What are they? Do I eat them??
Who you friggen looking at? Did I mention I’m a legend?
Maybe if I ignore them they will go away
Nothing to see!!! I’m not here!! Very bloody strange things they are
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January 29th 2008
God it’s quiet without Nobby. I had to taunt Taffy today but he just ignored me.
Arse. Sigh…
Bit like living in the Big Brother house here :) Wonder who is up for eviction next
January 28th 2008
And then there was four
My shortarse arch nemesis Nobby No-Nuts has left the building.
He was taken away in the Mobile dunny this afternoon to go to his new home 100’s of km’s away.
Least I wont smell him from here then
I’ll actually miss the little bloke, we had some great laughs together, drove me to dispair at times but he was a good sort.
That just leaves me, Cherry, No-name and Taffy.
I told Dad I was really upset about Nobby and the others going and was worried I would be going too and I didn’t want to be with another ‘Uman, I just wanted to stay with him and he told me not to worry about it, everything will be ok.
Phewww, even I was getting a bit worried for a moment.
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January 26th 2007
Shifttttttttyyyyyy has left the building.
Good cos he was a hopeless twat anyway
Actually for a little white pony he was ok, just let me down badly on the bucks night but he did keep me amused by his frequent disappearing and reappearing acts.
His Mom came and got him this afternoon, we all knew he was going today cos Dad told us last week, he was only here cos we would look after him until his real mom could come and get him cos the people he was on lease to didn’t like him and the stallion ‘Uman threatened to shoot him and bulldoze him into a big hole if he wasn’t picked up
Gee some ‘Umans can be really horrible.
Maybe we should all go over there and hoof him into a big hole!!!!
Oh well sad to see him go, but hey, one less gelding
Think I might play hard to get Cherry and No-name must be gagging for it by now
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January 23rd 2008
Sorry I have been a bit quiet this week, been a bit distracted. Cherry and no-name are still up in the top paddock and I’m still having to put up with the three stooges (Nobby, Taffy and Shifty) which really isn’t helping much, I might add.
Dad was really busy yesterday moving loads and loads of stuff from the big stable, he didn’t finish till really really late last night and woud have woken me up if I hadn’t have been awake already thanks to Shifty keep nudging into me every two minutes
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January 18th 2008
Well that was rubbish!!!
I swear at times I’m sharing a paddock with some right idiots. We had the whole paddock ourselves, the girlies were up the top and couldn’t see us. I had myself all set for the stripper mare and her sexy fly net etc and what do I end up with? Nobby, Taffy and Shifty getting all bloody horsie on me!!!
Me ”So Nobby, we having this bucks party?”
Nobby ”eh?”
Me “The bachelor party, you idiot, remember I told you we were going to get wasted and get some fillies in”
Nobby “oh yeah”
Me “So what ya wanna do first?”
Nobby “Eat some grass”
Me ”err OK, after that?”
Nobby “Eat some more grass”
Me “How about we run up and down the fence line like a couple of stallions and tease Cherry and no-name”
Nobby “I’m off to eat some grass”
Me “Bloody hell Nobby, you are hopeless!!! Oi Taffy, fancy running up and down the fence line?”
Taffy “I just want to graze Bazz”
Me ”Yeah, yeah, but what about after that?”
Taffy “Is there any carrots?”
Me ”No there isn’t any friggin’ carrots you mong head”
Taffy “Oh ok, I’ll eat some more grass then”
Me “STREWTH!!!!”
Me ”Oi Shifty, get you butt over here and make like a stallion”
Shifty “I’m eating”
Me “You’ll be limping in a minute mate!! Look we have the whole paddock to ourselves and a very rare chance to do some real blokey stuff, seriously if you could do anything without the mares about what would you want to do?”
Shifty “Eat some grass?”
Me “OH FOR F**** SAKE!!!!!, right that’s it I’m going!!!”
And that was that, I ended up bored out of my mind watching three brain dead geldings scoffing themselves silly on grass all night, and then running up and down the fence line on my own with my dangly bits slapping against my thighs trying to impress Cherry and No-name. No-name who’s in season at the moment obviously felt a bit sorry for me cos she backed up to the fence.
I’m looking at Cherry, who is looking daggers back at me, with that “go on, just you dare” look on her face.
Bollox I’m off to eat some grass.
January 17th 2007
Dad moved all us blokes down to the bottom paddock earlier, it was so funny. First he took me down and then went to get Nobby, Taffy and Shifty but Nobby ran away when dad went to get him and ran all the way from the big stable to the bottom paddock where I was.
So Dad walked all the way down to open the gate and Nobby, Taffy and Shifty all bolted back up the hill to the big stable. Dad was stood there with the gate open and said well you might as well go join them , so I galloped up the hill as well.
Then Dad had to walk all the way back up to the big stable, he growled at Nobby who then decided it was a good idea to stand still this time, and led Nobby down to the bottom paddock, then he had to walk all the way back and get Taffy, who thought he would run off too :) Dad finally caught him and led him down with Shifty following, whilst he is walking down, Nobby is running up and down the fence line like some rabbit on speed, neighing like mad and galloping all over the place.
Dad gets Taffy and Shifty in the bottom paddock and then walks all the way back up to the big stable to get me. This time I think he was pooped cos he stuck a bridle on me and asked if I could carry him down Bless him, so I let Dad ride down bare back to the bottom paddock and then he let me go after giving me the biggest hug and scratch.
So I’m waiting for Dad to come back with Cherry and the lushy no-name and realise that they are staying up in the top paddock!!! I’m like what the??? You can’t keep my ladies from me, they lurrrrve me. So then I start charging up and down the fence line neighing at Cherry and no-name to come over.
And that’s how it stayed, Cherry and No-name in the top paddock and Nobby, Taffy, Shifty and Myself down the bottom. I was absolutlely knackered after running up and down the fence line for like an hour so I decided to go stand under the big tree and get some sleep. Just as I started to nod off, it suddenly struck me.
BACHELOR PARTY !!!!!!!! WOHHOOOO!!!!
All us guys are on our own, we are going to have so much fun. We will get soooo wasted. Now all I need to do is talk my Dad in to smuggling in some strippers and we are sorted. I can just see this cute filly teasingly taking off her rug and fly net.
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January 15th 2008
Spacko has left the building!!!.
Jacko was sold today. I think everyone got fed up with him trying to get off with Nobby Woohoo more hay for me!!!
Didn’t tell the new owner he was buggered and had a disposition to buck of it’s rider though.. opps
Can’t say I’m going to be that bothered about him going, didn’t really do much for me that one. Dad said that Shifty the white pony will be going this week as well. He was only here for a short while cos we were looking after him for someone so I didn’t expect him to be here for too long.
That means I can have Cherry and No Name all to myself Only cos Taffy can’t reach and Nobby will be more interested in Taffy than the mares
Ohhh life is bliss!!!
Think I’ll let my danglies down and go see the girls
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January 13th 2008
Well that was fun, err not!!!. Stoopid new Irish Daft Sports Horse with no name had me awake nearly all night.
It was her first night here and already she is infatuated with me, poor thing wont leave my side. It was really dark last night so I had to keep shouting out to her so that she could find me again cos I knew she was going to be all upset not being able to see me in the dark.
There I was munching away and the next minute she has gone?? She’s drifted off again I thinks to myself and call her, it’s so dark she can’t find her way back so I have to go after her, 2 minutes later she goes and does it again. This went on all night!!! I swear she must be blind or summink.
And every time I called out “Coooeee Horsie with no name are you ok???” she would reply “Tip top tippity top, to be sure, to be sure” Not sure what that was all about.
Anyway tonight my Dad came home from Melbourne and drove down the paddock to see me, he opened his window to give me a pat and before I had chance to move, no name moves in and sticks her head in my Dads car window. I’m like WTF????? That’s just not on. I had to walk around the whole car and give her a nip on the bum, tasted so good I had another go I told her to bugger off cos he is my Dad and had come down to see me. “Tip top tippity top, to be sure, to be sure” she mutters as she wanders off down the paddock.
That is one very strange horsie, think I had better keep my eye on that one.
January 12th 2008
So there I was in the paddock minding my own business and day dreaming about spontaneous equine combustion and exploding hay stacks when I heard my Dads Jeep coming down the road with the mobile dunny on the back.
Dad comes out and opens up the back of the dunny and out pops another new horse, sort of not surprised anymore.
It’s some Irish tart who is pretty ok doing sporty stuff apparantly, whatever that means. Actually I think she is an Irish Sports Horse, that’s right. I think I must have sub consciously added the tart bit
Anyway we all came up to say hello, I wasn’t that bothered to be honest. I told her I didn’t want to know her name cos when she goes I wont miss her Anyway the horse with no name seems to have settled in ok. I guess I’ll have to go through that whole explaining it’s my paddock thing all over again … sigh.
I had a moan at Dad but he just told me to stop equining on about it, and then burst out laughing at me. No idea what that was all about.
Oh well I’m off to be boss of the paddock. If she sniffs my butt I’m gonna hoof her!!!
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January 11th 2008
I saw my Dad today wooohooo
Bout bloody time too. He came home early which was just as well as there is a massive bush fire the other side of the mountain.
He came and opened the gate to the bottom paddock and cos we were all pleased to see him we all galloped up the paddock really really fast, you should have seen Nobby go He flew across the paddock so fast I thought he was going to take off
I’m not worried about the bush fire now Dad is home cos he fights that firey stuff and can save me, so I was really pleased to see him. Dad said someones hay stack caught fire and that spread to the forest and now there is like 1,000 acres alight. And I’m like, OMG Nooooo not the hay!!!
And the fire was getting close to some ‘Umans big stable and I’m thinking, OMG Nooooo not the hay!!! And he’s going on about how all this bush land has gone up in smoke And I’m like, OMG Nooooo not the hay!!!
Dad said that the hay spontainiously combusted in the shed cos it was damp. Err eh??? What? Apparantly damp hay on hot days can just catch fire on it’s own. So I’m thinking, the hay in my tummy is damp and today is really hot.
I headed straight for the dam and drank like one million litres of water so fast I even burped.
The ‘Umans that were staying in the big stable have gone now, they was really nice ‘umans and came and said hello every day (once they found us ) glad to have my dad home though, missed him, sorrta, maybe
January 10th 2008
I miss my Dad
Boring as bats poo when he’s not here cos he fluffs my hair and sucks my ears and stuff.
Oh well two more sleeps
He better bring me some bloody carrots with him when he comes back or I’m gonna sook big time
Oh and in case you missed it yesterday, and yes I know it’s only the entry below, but ahhhhhhhhhhhh
January 8th 2008
Look what my Dad got sent by my firstest ‘Uman.
These are some pics of me as a foal, 4 months and a year old.
God I was nearly as cute then as I am now
Me as a little babe ahhhhhhhhh
Me having a feed from my mommy
Dats me nearest to the camera film thingy
Me eating as always
Me as a yearling
Me as a heart breaking, mare loving, stud muffin’ of a future racing legend
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January 6th 2008 Still
You can’t find us cos we are hiding
The ‘Umans that are staying in the big stable have been here all day and still havn’t found us LOL
They phoned dad to ask where we were
Maybe we can hide the whole week till dad gets back again
Don’t tell them, but we are all hiding down the bottom of the bottom paddock by the fence line so you can’t see us from the stable
January 6th 2008
I got an email from the BFM Bonny today.
She’s all settled in with her new ‘Uman Robyn, she says her Mom is always fluffing after her and giving her loads of rubs and stuff.
Robyn was waiting for a new saddle but couldn’t wait to ride her cos she loves her so much so just jumped on her bareback.
They have these little pygmy horsies at their paddock, they are so small they can walk under Bonny’s tummy
When they are born they are only 11 inches tall LOL Bonny’s nose is bigger than that
Still can’t get over the size of her poo’s though.
January 5th 2008
Wooo hooo Look what I got for Christlemas from Rums Mom
It’s errr a… urm, dunno
Dad says it’s a moosick thingy CD stuff and he’s going to play it near the gate to stop us horsies from trying to escape
Just kidding Rums Mom, he played it to me when he was down the tack room and did this funny dance and I’m just staring at him thinking he’s gone mad and stuff but it was really good in a ‘Uman sort of way.
The CD is of Rums Dad Mel and he’s like a moosician and their pygmy sings on it too.
And I like it cos the envelope they posted it in said to Bazzy Boy The Racing Legend … That’s me
If you want one you have to buy one cos they only send them free to famous peoples like me and all that, so if you want it here is a link my Dad found
http://www.cdmojo.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=central.DoSearchDad read me one of the reviews from the website
Dad read me one of the reviews from the website”They have the ability to infuse these tunes with movement. You can’t hold still when listening; some part of your body is going to be twitching along with the music.”
Yeah like my hoof was twitching when dad said he was going to play it again LOL Ohhhhhhhhh Pahhhhhh My Bad!!!!
Thanks Mary and Mel!!! I loves it really and it was really nice of you to send me a pressie cos no-one else did
January 4th 2008
yes yes, I am still alive, thanks to all those that sent an email asking if I was ok.
Dad has been a tad slack, I think he’s still recovering from the New Year Oh and Dad and the pygmies are running away, Dad said they wern’t coming back and then said he was just teasing and they were going away for a week. I’ll still miss him though
January 2nd 2008
Well we were all in the paddock this morning still talking about the size of Bonny’s poo’s. Think we will all miss her in our own little ways.
We had that the EMR thingy lady over today doing the muscle stuff on Jacko, Nobby and Shifty. Nobby was a bit sore from all that limping about with his foot injury, Jacko had a little tightness in his rear, like no, what, really. I’m sure Nobby will appreciate that
Nice cool day. Back down to 22 today with a nice breeze. Oh Dad came down in his Jeep earlier with an apple for me and we had a nice snuggle. I loves it when he comes down to the paddock just to say hello.
January 1st 2008 (Still)
Woohooo The BFM Bonny has left the building.
What a great start to the new year Well I guess she can’t be the Alpha Mare if she ain’t here, can she. So back to being the boss of the paddock am I, actually I was when she was here but ya know what I mean
It was decided to let her go to another home cos my Dad wanted to just ride me and said Bonny was boring cos she was so quiet. Ahhh bless him.
So I guess that means I’m back out of retirement again.
Anyway, the new ‘Umans came tonight with their mobile dunny to collect her, gee what a palaver that was. Dad tried to get her into the dunny but Bonny was scared, so she got on, then off, and then on, and then off and then on again, and then half off and then half on. Made me dizzy just watching.
We all came up to say our goodbye’s. “See ya , see ya, wouldn’t wanna be ya!!!” etc. before Dad chased us all away Was hard enough trying to get her into the dunny without 6 other horses heckling away.
So they gave up on trying to float her in the driveway and moved the float up the hill outside the gate, and it started all over again. Half on, half off, on, off, nose on, all on, all off. Jesus Bonny just get on the float and bugger off will ya, talk about making a drama out of it.
In the end the Stallion ‘Uman did some horsie stuff with her and she finally got on and stayed on.
And that was that, the dunny disappeared over the hill and BFM Bonny was gone. I stuck my ears up thinking I might hear her crying out for us all, and remembered she’s couldn’t. Oh well, wont miss her poo’s around the paddock though, seriously the biggest piles of poo’s I have ever seen. Her new owners will get one hell of a shock when they open the rear gate on the dunny
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January 1st 2008
HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE !!!!!!!
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December 31st 2007
It was so hot again today, got up to nearly 40 degrees at one point.
Anyway I’m stood in the paddock, sort of having a chew on the grass and I see my Dad walking down the paddock towards the dam, I thought it must be really hot if Dad is that thirsty and then all of a sudden he goes and throws himself in
Hey, that’s my drinking water He swam towards me so I walked down and had a drink and the big bugger went and splashed me with water, I went back and had a chat with him and then he got out and it all went a bit silly from that point.
First of all some of the pygmies came down and they started jumping in and swimming as well and then Dad went and got some of the jumpy poles and threw them in and they started playing with them, and then the horsies football ended up in there and then if it wasn’t manic enough already, Dad wandered off and came back about 5 mins later on a bike!!!
He rode all the way down the hill and into the dam It was so funny to watch.
Bit later he came and grabbed me and took me round the side of the big paddock and gave me a nice cold shower, man I was in heaven, not sure I was that keen on him taking to my legs with the bot knife though but least I’m all shiney now.
December 29th 2007
OMG I’m dying it’s sooooo hot!!! It was 160 degrees today!!!
I have been stood in the same bit of shade all day, with my nose pressed into the corner of the big stable.
I only moved my nose 1 inch to let Dad put my fly thingy on, otherwise, I have not moved once all day and I have a massive pile of poo behind me now that’s so big I can’t walk backwards cos I will step in it.
I’m not even sure if the rest of the horsies survived the heat cos they are stood around the corner and if I step into the sun light to have a look, I will vaporise or something.
I can’t even see if I still have a tail, I’ve been swishing it at the flies so much I think it fell off and landed in the poo.
Think my Dad will have to come rescue me
December 28th 2007
OMG it was soooo hot today I felt myself melting and my body started to boil and all these flies came and sucked all my fluids out of me until there was nothing left but dust. OK it was only 32 degrees (89.6f) but it seemed like it was hotter.
Dad said it will be 38 degrees next week (100.4f) so I guess I had better get use to it. Think I actually prefer the cold to be honest, least there is no flies around and I don’t have to watch Jacko having an absolute spack attack just because a bot fly thingy got within 6ft of him.
Earlier he was bouncing off the yard gate trying to squash this bot fly. Seriously, he is getting worse by the day.
December 26th 2007
It’s so truly sad. It is in fact very tragic.
Yes I am talking about Jacko and his latest phase for getting attention.
Look, Look, I’m just like Bazz.
Not content with just behaving himself and just getting along with everyone. now he’s copying every thing I do and trying so hard to be me it’s just not funny anymore.
HE EVEN DRESSES LIKE ME FFS. Apart from the fact he’s smaller he has the same tiny faint star, same color markings and is a bay.
Yesterday he played up on a trail ride, ok he went a bit over the top being the bad boy by bucking his rider off, but he so obviously wanted to be the trouble maker it was, frankly embarrasing.
Today, guess what? Yup Jacko has started to wind suck!!!!! What’s that all about then? Suppose he wants a bronze statue of him wind sucking too.
And then he starts having a spack attack around the paddock cos he’s got a bot fly thingy near him!!!
Well Jacko you can’t be like me cos I don’t have teeth marks on my bum and you even try it and I will hoof your nose so hard my hoofs will come out of your ears!!!
I so need to sort this out, it’s doing my head right in.
December 25th 2007 (Xmas Update)
I went riding, I went riding
My Dad came down to the paddock with the halter and lead rope, so I figured he was off for a ride with BFM Bonny and he came and got me and said “Lets go for a Christlemas ride Bazzy”
I’m like, what really? Awwww Dad that’s so cool.
So I went for a brilliant ride in the bush with Dad and another rider was on Jacko. I was soooo behaved. I had a tiny little jump right at the start and Dad growled at me a little only once though for stopping. Other than that I was walking and trotting all the time and trotted when Dad told me too and everything. I really enjoyed it and Dad was so happy.
The highlight of the ride though had to be the other riders impersonation of a big bird. We are going along this little track and all of a sudden with no warning, Jacko hits the eject button and she went flying up into the air. Look at me I can flyyyyyyarrrgghhhh thud!!!
Seriously and I’m not making this up, you can ask my Dad. Jacko did this huge buck and the rider flew so far into the air she was at least twice the height of jacko up in the air before she sort of went into slow motion and for a second I thought she was going to grab on a tree but she ended up landing on her bum, lucky it was big
Thankfully she landed on a soft spot so didn’t hurt anything, but boy it looked pretty horseom.
I’m freaking out cos I have no idea what’s going on as Jacko is leading. Dad made me stand still and not run off so I just did as I was told and the other rider went and got Jacko who was walking back to her, thankfully he didn’t just run off.
And then the rider got back on Jacko and headed home, I rode up behind and gave Jacko a hard time for nearly hurting her.
Oi dickhead, that was a tad gay don’t ya think, so what was it? an ant? tiny little twig give you a scare
Anyway I think he’s feeling a bit sorry for himself now, he’s pulled the old my legs lame trick to get out of riding for a while, what a big sook.
Oh well, least I had a nice ride with Dad and I got extra food as well for working hard!!!!
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December 25th 2007
I been good, and I got carots from Santa Dad.
Dad came to see me first thing this morning and gave me a carot and a big scratch and then he came back later and gave me another carot and a big rub and then he came back and gave me another carot and a rub and a scratch and then he came back and went to give a carot to BFM and I chased his Jeep across the paddock until he gave me another carot and then he came back with reindeer ears on playing ‘Uman music and stuff and gave me another hug and a big kiss on the nose, but no carot this time
He said that it was Christlemas Day today and he loves me lots and heaps and that. It was good to have a big snuggle with him, I even scratched my head on his bum
So HAPPY CHRISTLEMAS THINGY!!!! Hope you all have lots of fun and treats and stuff.
December 24th 2007
Jingle ho-ho-ho bells and all that stuff.
It’s nearly Christlemas Day and I’ll get to see Dad later and I’m soooo excited and pee-ing down my leg with happiness and joyiness. Last year I got a carot, hope I get one this year tooo cos I have been really good and won awards and stuff.
Anyway, thanks to all of you for coming to my site this year and have yourselves a brilliant fan dabby dosy Christlemas Day and a safe and equally brilliant new year and all that. Be nice to your ‘Umans and look after yer mates. If you don’t do the Christlemas thing, just be safe anyway.
Loves you all
Happy Christlemas
Bazzy
Oh p.s Nobby’s leg is coming along nicely and Shifty has settled into the paddock real well. Dad said the hoof marks on his head and the teeth marks on his bum should wear off before his owner notices.
Cherry, Nobby, BFM, Taffy, Jacko and Shifty all said to say g’day and have a great Christlemas, actually BFM didn’t cos she can’t speak since the vet took to her voice box with the lazar but she did nod when the other guys were saying it
I’ll just go now
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December 21st 2007
So there I was minding my own business in the paddock, just day dreaming like you do. I was actually thinking of how I could bite Nobby on the butt and not get in trouble with everyone on here. It’s ohhhh so tempting.
To be honest I still feel a bit bad for the poor bloke, I mean yeah sure he’s a first class nob head and all that but I don’t mind him. Sorrta got use to him being around and we quite often just hang together for a chat. Like we were doing earlier funnily enough.
So I’m twittering away about how it’s ok he’s buggered up his hoof cos he can’t run for shite anyway and I realised Nobby wasn’t actually stood next to me anymore, so I turn around to tell him what I just said and stood right in front of us is this small white dorky looking pony.
What the bloody hell!!!! Where did he come from??? I’m looking up and the sky trying to work out what’s going on. Next minute the pony has let out a ripper buck at BFM Bonny. I’m laughing my head off, he’s about quarter of the size of her
Emo (Taff) has started to make these really weird noises, sort of like a duck stuck in yer hoof type noise. Me and Nobby are still just staring trying to work out what’s going on.
Dad comes out of the house with his cam’ra, and I’m like err dad so where did this thing come from? Dad explained that he wanted us to look after him in the paddock for a little while, He was doing a favor for a mate and he would be staying till after Christmas.
Apparently ”Shifty” has had a bit of an emotional couple of days. I’ll have to ask Dad what his real name is cos I forgot to ask and the big doof didn’t introduce us, but given the way he just appeared out of nowhere and started eating my grass, I’m calling him Shifty.
Poor old Taff though was just classic, he had me laughing my head off, every time shifty got within a few inches of him he made this stoopid noise as if Shifty was going to eat him or something. Bless him
Oh and I nearly forgot, only about another 35 more sleeps till Christmas day… yay!!
Jingle bells, Nobby smells and he’s buggered up his hoof.
So he can’t be a reindeer cos he can’t land on the roof, hey.
Jingle bells, Nobby smells, it’s nearly Christmas Day.
Think I’ll go kick Jacko cos he’s so friggen gay!!
Yes I know that was very politically incorrect, tell someone that cares
Oi Dad!!! Where the bloody hell did he come from?
Emo and Shifty getting aquainted
December 20th 2007 (Nobby, I have a gammy hoof update)
DO NOT LOOK IF YOU ARE SQUEEMISH.
Mind you that would be funny being predators and all that, getting all funny over some blood. Didn’t make me go all funny when I saw it, just figured I’d be able to eat his hay without him chasing me
Anyway be warned, not nice pics below. I don’t know why I’m warning you though cos your going to look anyway cos ‘Umans have to do that. And then go all silly “Oh no what did I look at that for it’s ‘Orible etc etc” strange lot that you are.
And Nobby said to say thanks to everyone asking about him and leaving best wishes etc.
I told him all about it and it cheered him up heaps. See I can be nice!!!
Err OUCH!!!
Err BF OUCH!!!
10 Stitches and $600 later
Looking better after a good clean up
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December 19th 2007
OMG Nobby has ripped his hoof off and there was blood everywhere it was pouring all over the floor and stuff.
He was limping and ouching and all that. I looked down and could see right through to the bone and I’m like bloody hell Nobby, what you done you mong?
He’s got no idea what happened he just banged it on something and the next minute he’s ouching all over the place.
Dad came down, took one look and got the vet. 10 stitches!!! OMG bet that hurt.
I actually almost felt sorry for him.
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December 15th 2007
I DON’T HAVE THOSE SPOTS ANYMORE!!!! OK!!!! QUIT GOING ON ABOUT IT!!!! Streeeewwwwwthhhh.
Whatever they were they are gone, so the next horsie or ‘Uman that mentions it is going to get a hoofing.
And yes I am in a sooky mood and yes my knickers are in a twist. Dad came to say g’day and goodbye cos he’s going camping for the weekend with the pygmies and he’s not taking me
Pahhhh!!!
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December 14th 2007
Calm down, I’m still alive
Dad had to get a lot of tidying up work done on the website cos we moved it to a big server in Hamerica so I could be nearer to my mate Indy So he couldn’t do any updates till he moved it. The server is faster and has no limit on the amount of stuff I have on it, and I get a proper email thingy now (bazzy@bazzyboy.net)
If you spot something not working (other than me!!!) can you let me or Dad know.
December 11th 2007
Glad you all liked the horsie race yesterday. Nothing to do with me, the giant pygmy (Dad) did that all on his own and pretended I knew something about it
Mind you seeing as so many of you emailed and posted comments saying you liked it, I’m now officially claiming it as my idea LOL.
And Indy in V.A came up with the idea of the Triple Crown Cup?Challenge Sweepstake Derby thingy so if you haven’t noticed the big banner at the top of the page, we are going to run a race a Month for three Months to decide who on his is worthy of wearing the Bazzy Bollox Racing Crown.
Not sure what the prize will be yet cos I can’t think that far ahead Maybe Indy can give one seeing he came up with the idea of a prize
Anyyyyyywayyyyy enough of all that.
I had my day totally interrupted and traumatised by three certain house panthers today. So there I am minding my own and all that, next minute this furry ball comes flying between Cherry’s legs, no not?one of my furry balls,?a rabbit.?
So I’m standing there watching this thing scoot across the paddock, next minute these three house panthers come flying past as well, it was like watching some surreal greyhound race where the dogs had all been replaced by cats.
I’m like, what’s that all about then. So I’m thinking I love summer, all the little animals come out to play and have fun together, and with that the cats and the rabbit start having a little wrestling match in the paddock. Ahhhhhhh sweet, so nice they all get along.
The rabbit must have been a bit tired cos one of the house panthers had to carry it back up to the big stable, as it’s going past it suddenly occurred to me the rabbit was missing something, couldn’t quite put my hoof on it at first, and then I’m like ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww where’s it’s head???? That’s gross!!!
I think the tabby is eating it came the curt reply as he wandered back up to the stable with what was left of buggs.
What is that all about??? Bloody predators, seriously. Try that on me and see how far you will get buddy. Nearly put me off my grass that did
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December 10th 2007
So that then got me thinking as I was having a semi-kip in the paddock. What if I was to race against some of my horsie friends from my blog
So I spoke to Dad about it and he drove me (and then flew me in a plane) all the way to England to Royal Ascot so I could race with all my friends who just happened to be there as well. He figured Royal Ascot wouldn’t give me a home turf advantage
So we had the 2007 Blog Handicap race at Royal Ascot (Video is in the media section, just below The Big Race video from yesterday)
The line up was as follows
1?Bazzy Boy (That’s me) oh yeah you know that
2 Indy in V.A
3 Blu
4 Jazz
5 Mr Riffic
6 Muzzy
7 Never Ben Better
8 Roger
9 Rum
10 Toby
11 Trixie
12 April?
I can’t believe that April won the race!!!!
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December 9th 2007
Well I was real busy today. Dad took me, Nobby no-nuts and Jacko the Spacko to Flemington racecource in Melbourne to race in the 1400m BFM Handicap. We were just three of twelve horses running, but dad wanted to see which of us three was the fastest. I was?wearing my normal number one of course, which I?use to wear?when I raced, Nobby was number 3 and Jacko was number 4, they just got those numbers cos they never had real racing ones like me.
Dad had it video’d and put it in the video section on the media page
And Dad said this was a real race?but the video is not so good so it makes us look like we were in a computer simulation on his?Playstation and he video’d the television but that’s just the poor quality video that makes it look like that
Oh yeahhhh I nearly forgot.
The win a framed print of me competition. Sorry it took so long to pick a winner but we had like thousands, maybe even millions of entries. OK I lie, it was more like 60 and Dad is just a lazy sod
Here are my favourites
I’d luv to get my mom something different for christmas - she’s getting fed up of sharing my carrots
I sorta put my hoof thru my stable when dinner was late.? The pic will hide the hole, plus we can have a batchelor pad together Baz, the ladies will love it!
My walls would look so much better with a picture of Bazzy. Life is just not complete without you.
No matter what kind of a day I am having,? reading your Blog Bazzy, always cheers me right up!
Bazz you’re a legend, Bazz you’re the best, now gimme the painting, Or I’ll put ya in a dress.?What the … LOL
It will remind me that there is someone as beautiful as i am (well close anyway)
Anyway to the winner?
I really hate doing this cos they were all really good, and I’d like to have just put them all up and given everyone the prize ?
The winner of the framed print of me competition, and only cos they sucked up bigger and better is
Me!!! Oh sorry I did that last time
The winner is
Lynda with “So that I can worship Bazz every night before I go to sleep!”?
And cos I feel bad that only one person could win, I talked Dad into putting the hi-res image of the print on here for those that want to print off a copy and stick it on their dunny wall (you better bloody not by the way) anyway click here for the picture
December 6th 2007
OMG I have the dreaded lurgy!!!
Dad noticed these lumps on my chest almost directly between my front legs and close to where the girth goes.
They are like big spots / blisters and I have about 40 or more of them, about half are just under the skin and look like small lumps which you can feel when you rub your hand accross them, the other half are like little volcanos about 5mm x 5mm and have the top missing and are red inside
I also have some on my front shoulders but these are all under the skin
Dad thinks it could be some viral thingy like the ‘Uman pygmies get, like measels and chicken pox.
Whatever it is it’s making me itch and I’m worried now cos Dad is worried. He sent the pic to all his horsie ‘Uman friends.
The good news is dad said I can’t be saddled WOOO HOOO
Anyone that knows what’s going on can you leave me a comment so Dad can read it.
The first person to say it’s slackers?disease is going to get a hoof up the bum??
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December 5th 2007
I got told off for being nasty to Jacko and calling him gay and stuff and that I should behave cos Jacko is a sweet horsie
Err ok, so what’s with the S&M bondage get up then Jacko???
Better not show the next picture where Nobby turns up, all so very wrong
Oh my bad
Anyway enough of all that, moving on.
Just wanted to say a big thanks to my mate Toby from the England. He got his Mom Melanie to scan an article about me that was in the Horsies and Satans Puppy magazine in the England, and then emailed to my Dad.
Dad put it in the media section if you are interested and stuff. It’s the one right at the bottom of the page that says Horse and Hound cos that’s what the?’Umans call it.?
Oh and for those that asked, if you are buying stuff from the tack room for Christmas presents for peoples, Dad said order by the end of this week for Christmas especially if you are placing orders from over the seas. (Outside of Hamerica) The products is in Hamerica, so you ozzies better pull yer fingers out if you want it by the 25th?:)
Talking of which, my Dad has been a real slacker this week, the competition that was supposed to end on the 30th of November is still running, as soon as my Dad pulls his head out of his bum he will pick a winner (which will be tomorrow or I will personally hoof him) So if you are going to enter to win that framed pic of me you have about 18.5 hours
December 4th 2007
OMG..what the..
So there I was, etc etc and along comes Dad to see me, we had the biggest snuggles and stuff and then he popped a halter over my head and lead me out of the paddock to the arena!!!
I’m like, what did I do? I didn’t bite anyone!!!
He had me walking and trotting and cantering for about 40 mins, I was so puffed and sweaty as hell, I know how Bonny felt.
Dad told me even though I’m retired I still have to stay fit and he was worried that I’d get sick if I didn’t exercise, after i realised I hadn’t done anything wrong I worked really hard for Dad and behaved myself, he was so pleased with me. Especially when I cantered on command cos I never do that normally.
Said it was the best I have ever been in the arena, and I really enjoyed it too. After my “Work out” Dad took me for a shower, man it was sheer bliss.
Dad took me back to the paddock and BFM Bonny was laughing at me, I’m like, so what are you laughing at? Bonny thought it was funny that I had got in trouble with Dad as well and had to go to the arena.
I’m like err, actually it’s because I’m an elite athlete and if I don’t stay fit I’ll end up a big fat doof like you. Funny, she didn’t say anything after that
December 3rd 2007
Flies, flies, flies. I have flies in my ears, up my nose, in my mouth, up my bottom, under my chin, on my head, on my legs, on my back, on my ‘oofs, under my tummy, on my nuts, flies, flies bloody flies!!!
I even have my fly net on and the buggers are still coming at me, if that’s not bad enough I have had to put up with BFM Bonny sticking her nose under my tail all day so I swat the flies off her head, actually that was a bit of a bonus, well for the first hour anyway.
UPDATE!!!
A letter from todays Herald Sun
I recently read an article quoting a scientist regarding the number of flies about at the moment. He said the flies had come from New South Wales because of the drought and that there were about one trillion flies for every Victorian (where we live)
Say that 1000 flies equals one gram. then one million flies equals 1kg.
My personal fleet of flies would therefore weigh one million kg.
I just hope they don’t all decide to land at the same time.
OMG!!! LOL
That would make my personal fleet about 1 trillion kg’s, half of which are up my bum as we speak
Well at least that explains why there are so many flies about then.
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December 2nd 2007
Oh deary deary deary me, sigh ….
So there I am in the bottom paddock minding my own and stuff and I see Dad coming over to say hi.
We had the biggest snuggle and he gave me the bestest scratch and rub, he then went over to say hi to Nobby, Cherry and BFM Bonny.
So he’s stood there talking to Cherry and giving her nose a rub and out of nowhere one of the other horsies walks over, sticks her ears back, and I’m like noooooo
Too late, she has gone and bit my dad on the shoulder.
I’m like, well that was a stoopid thing to do, she goes yeah why’s that then?
With that Dad has spun around and slapped her a good one right in the head, she’s like oh that’s why.?
I’m like, no that’s not why. She is just stood there looking confused and Dad walks off without saying a word, no cussing or shouting at her, nuffink.
He comes back about 5 minutes later with a lead rope, catches Her and pretty much hauls her up the hill. Gotta say it was? pretty impressive to watch, she’s one huge mare and Dad was not in the mood for taking any nonsense from her.
He takes her out of the paddock and up to the arena.
40 mins of cantering and trotting on the lunge later, she comes back real slow, sweating like a pig, panting away and feeling pretty sorry for herself.
That’s why!! You big knob head, what on earth possessed you to go bite Dad???
Even Cherry and Nobby had a go at her about it, and then we all?walked off and left her on her own to have a think about it.
I felt a bit sorry for her cos she was stood at the top of the paddock all on her own, but we were all pretty miffed with her. I went and gave me Dad a nudge to see if he was ok, but he was real cool about it, just said “I couldn’t let her get away with that Bazz, but seriously I’m fine mate”.
Then he gave my mane a good fluff and said he’d see me later.?
Still can’t believe she did that!!!
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November 30th 2007
Well that was a big non event ?? The horse torturer came and prodded and pinched and squeezed and stuff and I just stood there chatting to my Dad, no ouches, no “oi bugger off” nuffink!!!
My ciatica is sorted, my girth area is all good and my back is just so soft and my topline is looking a heap better. So I got the all clear Woo hoo
And Cherry who played up big time two weeks ago was 100% better, again no ouches and this time she just stood there winking at me instead of kicking out and rearing.
In fact all of us were behaving, except Dad of course. He bought Jacko back to the paddock after his check up, I’m stood there minding my own, eating some grass. I look up at Jacko just to acknowledge he was back with us, and I’m like OMG!!!!!? PUHAHAHA
Dad has taken to Jacko’s brand with a marker pen, I laughed so hard hay shot out of my nose.
CLASSIC!!!!!
November 29th 2007
Pahhhhhhh
Dad came down to see me today and I was all excited and neighing at him and stuff, and he comes over and gives me a quick fluff on the head before grabbing BFM Bonny and taking her for a ride
He was gone for a couple of hours and then when she came back she was all wet from having a nice cool shower.
I’m not sure I like this retirement thingy, just as well I’m not suppose to be riden for a couple of weeks anyway cos my back is a fixing, talking of which, the horse torturer Sue is coming back in the morning to jab and prod me some more, yippy I just can’t wait … sighhhhhhhh
November 26th 2007
Well I have just been sooo lazy this week ? since I had my pedicurist over giving my hoofs a nice trim, just been lazing about and sun baking (well today anyway)
Did have a bit of entertainment earlier when the air born lions (wedge Tailed eagles) decided to swoop down on the house panthers they were so not happy about it, hissing and spitting all the way back up to the big paddock LOL
Swear one of these days one of those house panthers is going to come flying past me, like real fast, meoooooowwwwwwwww
Anyway back to me, cos the website is about me!!!! Sigh…
Err I’m err , oh not sure what to say now
Ohhhhhhhh yeahhhhh, the grass is getting so long in the paddock now that if it doesn’t get cut soon we wont be able to see the big stable anymore, I swear I saw an explorer trying to cut his way through it the other day. Dad say’s we can’t have it cut this week cos it’s going to rain so maybe next week, and then we will have lots and lots of hay WOOOHOOO. We should have over 200 bales come winter. That’s one for No-nuts, one for Cherry, One for Spacko, Two for BFM Bonny cos she’s a fat pig, half for Taff and that?leaves 194 and a half for me ?
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November 22nd 2007
Deadhead Scissor Hands (Luke) the barefoot trimmer came to see us all today. What a hoohaa that was!!!
Cherry and Jacko played up no end, in fact Jacko was acting like a right pork chop, rearing up and kicking out and just being a right pain in the bum. Not sure what was up with Cherry either cos she seemed really scared and was nervous as hell.
Bonnie, well… they nearly had to get a crane in to lift her big feet up, and Nobby he was all jittery and started prancing about.
Taffy was really good, and me, well I was on my best behaviour cos I got to snuggle up to Dad when I had mine done, so I was being as good as gold
Anyway I promised I would show you the update.
So here are the original photos from before my trim back on October 9th, so this was just 6 weeks ago, and obviously the new ones are from today, Dad was really happy especially with my back hoof which was really bad.
?
My back left (above) - The crack is starting to close nicely
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My back?right (above)?- How much better is that!!!
?
Front Left (above)
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Front Right (above)
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One of my frogs before and after
So what ya fink eh?? Have to say it feels much better now than the first time I had them done and I went for a nice gallop straight after and didn’t ouch or anything, Dad said it was because the bottom of my feet are much tougher now.
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November 21st 2007
Oh my giddy Aunt, what on earth is the weather up to. It was 34 degrees and sunny yesterday. I was hot as hell and we are all?huddled under the big tree trying to get some shade. Today it is 12 degrees, peeing down with rain and we are all huddled under the big tree, freezing and trying to stay warm.
Yes I am, or should I say, was feeling very sorry for myself.
And then…… I see the Jeep coming down the hill so I know Dad is coming to see me. I’m a tad miffed cos I don’t have my rug on and I’m cold, so when he starts calling me up to the gate I just ignore him and stay put down the bottom of the paddock. He is stood there with one of the pygmies and they are waving their?arms about trying to get me to come up, in the end he walks down and puts a rope around my neck and leads me up to the gate. I’m like whatevrrrrrr.
And then he opens up the gate and just leads me out but leaves the rest of the gang in the bottom paddock, I’m like he’s not going to ride me in this weather is he???
He turns me around towards his Jeep and points to the ground, and then Dad shouts SURPRISE!!! I look down and my eyes nearly popped out of my head. Dad say’s happy anniversary Bazzy, be good and ya might get another one
I had me a special anniversary cake and I’m like wow there’s carrots and apples and sugar cubes and treacle bread and .. and… err WOW!!!
Ohhhhh that’s fantastic!!!
Me and Dad on our anniversary
My Cake!!!!!
So that was that I stuffed myself silly whilst Dad put my rug on and then I shared what was left of my cake after I demolished it with Bonny, Jacko, Cherry, Taff?and Nobby.
Now I feel all warm and fuzzy and loved and stuff
Don’t care if it’s cold and wet anymore
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November 20th 2007
Well that was a fun ?
Not sure what was going on today but the gate between the two paddocks was definitely the place to be. I had to skip off for the occasional bit of munching but first time I went up to the gate Dad came down in his Jeep and gave me a good rub and scratch and stuff and said that we would have been together for a whole year and that he had a big surprise for me tomorrow but he can’t say what it is in case he forgets
A bit later he comes back with the Jeep and starts pulling tools out of the boot and he’s drilling this and banging that and the next minute he’s pulled the gate off and thrown?it on the floor, jumped into his Jeep and started driving on it I’m like WTF!!!? ?Then I realised what he was up to and I have to say he’s pretty smart for a ‘Uman and all, the gate had a big bend in it and when Dad had finished driving on it, it was all straight and looking like a new gate.
He has to bang this metal thing into the fence post with this real heavy hammer. I could see it coming a mile away, next minute he’s jumping up and down and shouting at the fence post, only gone and hit his thumb with the big hammer. I’m like ouch that must have hurt.
I tried not to laugh but it was funny seeing him telling off this piece of wood. Anyway he finishes the gate and goes back up to the big stable.
November 19th 2007
I have been a tad distracted today and spent most of it pacing around the paddock waiting for my Dad to come home. He left real early this morning and had his fire fighting shirt on so I knew he was off on a fire somewhere. He stopped the Jeep at the gate and came and gave me a good scratch and a cuddle. He has gone to the Little Desert in the outback which is quite far from here.
There was a big thunderstorm there at the weekend and the light from the sky hit a tree and started a fire, Dad was on the strike team and by this morning over 40,000 acres was on fire…?OMG!!! ?:(
He had to stop the fire from crossing over onto the farms and destroying all the crops, like hay. Wooo hooo Go Dad!!! Save my hay !!!!
Anyway I waited all day and then it got dark and I was just about to nod off and I saw the lights from the Jeep coming up the hill, Woohoo Dad’s home!!! He pulled into the paddock and came and said hi to me before he headed for the big stable. Not before I told him I was glad he was home but he stank worse than Nobby no-nuts and might want to hit the shower
Dad said the temperature was 40 degrees Celsius where he was today which is hot, with the fire so close it was probably a lot higher, he drank 9 litres of water just to stay hydrated.
Here’s what the big doof got up to without me
On his way to the fire
At the containment line
Getting Hot
Smokin’
The farms are safe and Dad heads home.
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November 17th 2007
Well what can I say, my Dad has finally lost it big time.
Thankfully he has been out all day fire fighting so I didn’t have to put up with him tormenting me in the paddock like he did yesterday
It was so funny though, I saw his Jeep coming down the hill towards me so I wandered over to say g’day, like ya do. Next minute he has jumped out the car and decided to tease the heck out of my face with an attack of the tickle monsters OMG he had me laughing so much. He was tickling my nose and then wiggling his fingers before leaping on me like some giant spider PUHAHAH it was so funny, and I kept standing there asking for more.
And he’d do it again and I’d jump back and then he’d do it again
If you want to see how silly it got, there is a video posted up on the media page?(Tickle Monster)
Hehe, beware the Tickle Monster, what a goof!!!
After all that excitement I went down to catch up with the guys, everyone is obviously feeling much better after the visit of the equine torturer earlier in the week Bobby ran straight into the dam and was splashing water all over the place, he went right up to his chest as well, it was so funny to watch.
Jacko and Cherry were hooning about (going crazy) all over the paddock chasing poor old Taff, they were bucking and chucking their heads all over the place, and the BFM Bonnie started flicking her head about as she started running and then threw herself on the floor and started rolling in the dirt. That set Taff off, who then started rolling as well.
And then everyone got up and just ran around the bottom paddock like crazy, except me and BFM Bonnie who just stood there going “WTF is that all about”???
Great to see everyone in fine spirits and it was such a nice warm day too, don’t get much better than this
November 15th 2007
OWWWWWWW!!!! OWWWWWWW!!! AGGHHHHHHH!! OUCH!!!! OMGGGG!!! Ahhh that’s better
I had a visit today from Sue Prodder, I mean Sue Parker the Equine torturer. Sue is an EMRT specialist, that stands for Equine Muscle Release Therapy Specialist.
Sue goes all over the place helping Champion racehorses like myself to get better when we ache and stuff. Sue works alongside the vets to help rehabilitate us after we have been injured or pulled a muscle and stuff like that. She sees like 30 horsies a day so Dad said we were all very lucky that she was able to see us all. Personally I’d rather she had been too busy
Anyway, she did some work on Jacko the Spacko last Month and he had to have a check up today so Dad thought it was a top idea to get her to look at me and Cherry and BFM Bonnie and Taffy Top whilst she was here. Jacko was very very sore and he told me that he was hurting so badly when she looked at him that they had to tie up one of his legs to stop him rearing up and kicking and that. I’m like, what a wuss So shouldn’t have told me that
Anyway Dad came and got me and at first I thought he was taking me riding and I’m like err Dad I thought I was retired And then he led me into the yard and Jacko and BFM Bonnie came too, and I’m thinking ok, something’s going on, I bet it’s the anvil wielding manic, or the tooth Doctor or something horrible.
And there I met this ‘Uman called Sue, she was only a small thing and didn’t look scary like the Vet and stuff so I’m like oh cool, maybe she will give me a carrot and a pat. Didn’t get a carrot but she did give me a nice rub. And then she starts prodding me in my back and neck and head and all over the place.
Does this hurt? OW!!!
What about this? AGHHH!!!!
And this? BLOODY HELL!!!!
How is this? FFS YES!!!!
Does this hurt? YOU EVIL WOMAN GO AWAY!!
Does this hurt? AGHHHH!!!
Does this hurt? DADDDDDDD!!!!
She then pinches me on my head and my ears went all funny and went far apart, Dad is looking at me laughing. Anyway Sue then goes and does the same to Jacko and Bonnie. Jacko is just stood there good as gold, no more pain for him, he looked so happy, especially considering the Month before he was a right mess.
Sue said Bonnie was in great shape and didn’t need treating so she came back and had another go at me, this time as well as prodding she kept pinching and squeezing me, god it hurt, but Sue said I’d be feeling a heap better in a few days.
It’s actually a very common a problem for us horsies, especially working racehorses and OTT TB’s and it only takes most of the time a couple of visits to get us back in shape.
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No she has not got her hand up my bum in the last picture before you even start commenting on it.
Anyway….after about an hour of torture Sue had given me a good working over and squeezed lots of bits and pinched my nerve cells to help my body heal itself.
I have to see her again in two weeks for a follow up but this is what she found wrong with me, she said it explains why I am so lazy and don’t like riding and why I lose condition so easy, she says the treatment should make everything feel a heap better, so I’ll post a follow up in a couple of weeks.
I have a lot of tension in my Sciatica which is making my back sore
I am weak in the Sacro-Illiac ligament which again hurts my back
My hamstrings are tight
Base of my shoulder (Near side) is quite tender
I have spasms in my Barcioch Sapmalius thingy , or whatever it’s called (it is the brachiocephalicus)
And I am girthy behind my elbows.
Sounds pretty full on if you ask me, but apparently Jacko was much worse and he is now back to 90% and with today’s prodding session, he shouldn’t need anymore treatment.
And if you think I sound bad, Nobby the poor bugger is even worse than me, he was jumping all over the place when he was getting prodded, and poor Cherry is also pretty bad, looks like she had a pretty hard time being ridden too early so she was really aching all over the place as well.
If you want your ‘Umans to contact Sue to get her to come look at their horsies, they can email her at equinebodytherapy@bigpond.com
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November 14th 2007
I’m so sorry I’m such a slacker, or at least Dad is for not updating my diary for a couple of days. Really needs to pull his finger out ? Anyway, to be fair I haven’t exactly been doing anything except eating all the lush green grass from?the area above the paddocks, yum yum yum, couldn’t be bothered doing anything else cos it’s been a bit warm. Spent the whole day standing under a tree in the shade playing fly tennis with Nobby.??
Dad came up earlier to give the BFM Bonnie some medicine and me and my Dad had the biggest cuddle and a scratch and stuff. It was real funny cos he was copying me by shaking and nodding his head and stuff and that just made me do it even more.
Dad has been doing some stuff on the site (Other than updating my diary) There is a new compeition which you can get to by clicking the banner at the top of the page. This time (Only cos someone asked) you can win a framed print of me. Yeah I know how awesome is that eh!!!
Dad also added a new section to the site, on the top menu there is now a signpost thingy for something called “media” this is where all my photo’s and video’s and stuff like that are, so you can get to it really easy.
On that note I’m off to have some more food
November 12th 2007
I think my Dad must have pooped his bed cos he came to see me very early this morning, he normally hibernates until much later in the morning, anyway, Dad come down to check on Jacko who was standing in the main paddock, this normally wouldn’t set the alarm bells off, but as he was in the bottom paddock last night, it was a bit of a worry that he was now in the top one.
What Dad didn’t know was during the night Jacko decided to go practice his cross country moves and leap the fence between the paddocks, what a stoopid dork!!! He ended cutting his legs and chest, luckily for him it was just some small cuts and scratches and he didn’t go injuring himself real bad.
I think he might be into self harm and go all emo on us ? Either that or he’s just an idiot!!
What was so stupid was there was nothing to gain by doing it, it’s not like we don’t have a heap of grass in this paddock as it is, grass don’t taste any better just cos it’s in the other paddock. And then he goes whinging on all night cos he’s the other side of the fence from us, and to be a total pain in the butt, we can’t go wandering down to the bottom of the paddock cos he gets all upset if he can’t see us.
So I spend the whole night just stood there waiting for the sun to come up so Dad will come down and sort him out. I’m like Jacko you plank, what did you go do that for???? Dunno says Jacko, well just get your butt back here before Dad sees you and loses his mind, I can’t moans Jacko, I don’t wanna get hurt again.
For crying out loud, I am so surrounded by idiots. Oh and then to make matters worse, not only is Jacko looking like some freaked out goth with cuts all over his legs and chest, Maki the house panther only goes and gets himself bitten by a snake and is semi comatose on the garage floor, so now everyone is freaking out and rushing off to the vets to get him sorted out, and one of the other house panthers is running around with half a torso of a dead rabbit in its gob!!! and the two paddock pygmies are shouting at each other about some bloody pineapples or whatever.
IT’S NOT EVEN?9 O’CLOCK YET….. FOR CRYING OUT LOUD SETTLE DOWN!!!!!!
Mind you on the bright side dad told me about his radio interview this morning and had me rolling about on the floor laughing so hard I nearly died.
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November 10th 2007
Struth!!!!? There I am having a nap in the paddock, totally like worn out from all the excitement of the last 24 hours, got the whole dream thing going on, with?me running along a sandy beach, nakid, towards Cherry, who’s running, nakid, towards me?and just as we are about to stop and have a big smootch, BLAM!!! I get woken up by this bloody great big poo coloured satans puppy who pops up in front of me and scares the crap out of me.
The?stoopid mutt is stood there wagging it’s?bloody tail like it’s going out of?fashion?and bouncing up and down in front of me like some demented bloody yo-yo. I’m like Chocci, sod off!!! Normally being woken up like that by anything would have had me bolting across the paddock in about 2 seconds flat, but this time I was totally miffed.
He’s still there bouncing about trying to get me to play with him, boing, boing, boing, wag, wag, waggety bloody wag..right that’s it. So I chase the idiot all over the paddock, I’m kicking at him, bucking like mad all over the place and just generally going ballistic. I was not happy I can tell ya. I was just getting to the good bit of the dream. I hate it when that happens….hmmmmppppffffff!!!!
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November 8th 2007 (Party Time!!!)
Woohoo if you didn’t know already, I won the “Best Pet Blog” in the Weblog awards that were held in Las Vegas, Hamerica. I was pretty happy when Dad came down woohoo’ing to me first thing this morning to tell me. I have no idea what a weblogs is but he says that it’s cool and it means I have lots of friends out there in the internut world.
I’m like uh-huh, ahem, AHEM!!!!
Dad promised me I’d get a heap of carrots if I won so I thought it best to remind him just in case he had forgot in all the excitement ?? And he didn’t disappoint, straight out of his back pocket out pops a carrot, looked a bit weird from where I was standing ? I’m like Dad, you just pulled a carrot out of yer bum!!! And he’s like so you don’t want it then???:) of course I want it ….
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So there I am standing in the paddock, chomping away on my carrot, pretty happy with the result and thinking life doesn’t get much better than this and then I turns round and I’m like, DAD!!!!
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A WHOLE BARROW FULL!!!!! OOOOMMMMMGGGGGGGG
I was going to stand there all day and just eat myself stoopid but I thought maybe we could have a paddock party!!! So I called over Cherry, Nobby no-nuts, Jacko and Taffy and we all stuffed ourselves silly.
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So we are all tucking into the carrots and we suddenly realise that BFM Bonny isn’t here cos she had to go to the vet for a h’operation. Ohhhhhh bad luck!!!! Boy I was relieved, phew, that lot wouldn’t last long if that big heffalump had been here.
I spent the rest of today, burping, farting and gloating ? I think Nobby no-nuts was right miffed by the end of the day, to be fair he did have to listen to me tell him like 100 times how I conquered the World with my Blog and that if he wasn’t?so useless he might win a whole barrow full of carrots for his friends, if he had some, that is
Actually he’s not that bad, sorrta, maybe.??? Cherry was really pleased for me though, she came and gave me a big snug earlier, and then Bonny came back from the vets and we had saved her some carrots so she joined the party too.
So that was my day, chomping away and thinking of all my friends on the internut that voted and stuff and all those horsies that got their ‘Umans to vote as well. Thanks so much, ?it was really nice that you all did that for me, it made me feel real special!!!
I knew I could do it though, god knows why the big doof was so stressed
Loves ya all XXXXX
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November 8th 2007 (A word from me Dad…again)
Just a quickie update on the bloggy award thingy. (Yes I have edited yesterdays post and re-used it ? so, you are not going mad, or at least not any madder than you are already.? whoops, did I say that?
Anyway, Only a furlong to go and the?winning posts are?in sight.
Less than 24 hours and still a 2 horse race.
Bazz is?still leading by?300 votes so hopefully with people voting tonight and tomorrow morning he might be in with a chance. If you haven’t voted yet but would like to, or would like to vote again just click here
For everyone that has voted for the site, thank you again, so much. I know a lot of you have been voting every day of the voting phase and it is so appreciated. To be honest I was just happy for the site to get nominated, didn’t expect to reach the finals and then to be in front with a day to go is just awesome.
It makes it all worthwhile when I look at the forums out there and read the messages people leave about Bazz and his web blog and it makes me so proud that the big doof and his antics bring a smile to so many faces and make people laugh.
Bazz is now starting to feel a win is possible as he’s been pacing around the top paddock all morning and generally showing off to BFM and Cherry.
News is obviously getting around about the weblog awards and Bazz being a front runner as I opened up the newspaper this morning and found an article about the big doof. I’m not going to tell him or he will be parading about all day ? I also had a call from the ABC Local Radio?today who would like to interview me about Bazz on Friday morning at about 9.45am (the broadcast will be transmitted?from the Ballarat area down the South Western area of Victoria)?If you want to have a listen check out the ABC website http://www.abc.net.au/radio/localradio/?or if you live near me in Ballarat, you can tune in to 107.9 FM
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November 7th 2007
Now then. I don’t normally do this because there are other sites out there like Fugly horse that tend to focus on things like this, and I like to keep my blog happy and fluffy and stuff.
My Dad was telling me about the lady that he bought BFM Bonny from. Her name is Mel and she lives not far from us. Wubby rescues horsies that have been not looked after. And that got us talking about all the poor horsies in Horsetralia that suffered last year cos of the drought and stuff.
So here is my message for the day, and sorry about some of the pics cos they are really sad and made me cry when Dad told me about them, but thanks to Wubby, all the horsies are better now.
Last summer was one of the worst in history for us horsies here in Australia, Dads hay cost more than the weekly grocery bill and so some naughty, evil people instead of looking after their animals just kept feeding themselves and forgot about their horsies
Here is a great example of the condition that badly looked after horses can get into and the results of what happens when someone responsible starts looking after and feeding them properly.?
Here are some before and after photos of horses in their pre-rescue condition and the same horses a few months later after being rescued and living at wubbys.
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Above is fable on the day she was rescued by Wubby and This is Fable just 12 days later !!!
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This is Timber the day he was rescued, and this is him now (above)
The next set is of Lochie, this horsie was in pretty bad shape when it was rescued
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Lochie when rescued …This is so wrong ? Lochie now!!!!? How awesome is that!!!
Now I know you have seen all of this sort of stuff before, but we are just coming into summer here and it’s predicted to be another hot one with very little rain, so us horsies are going to be under a lot of pressure this year, so please, please, please make sure?you look after us and take good care of us.
I am so lucky with my Dad but there are a lot of horsies out there like Lochie who find themselves in the wrong place.?
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November 6th 2007
Opps my bad RATFGMRD
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November 5th 2007
I’m Too Sexy For My Shirt!!!
Before I start my inane / insane ramblings, I got an email from Melaine today with this photo attached.
How good do they look eh? They got my face on their chests and the pygmy has my TShirt on too and he looks so cute and I wanna rub my hairy chin on his head and stuff cos he’s such a sweetie. He can come ride on me if he wants, that big bugger next to him bloody well can’t though. Jesus I hope he doesn’t sit on a horsie, he’d snap it …?RATFGMRD Ahhh I’m just kidding with ya.
Well other than drying off I’ve basically just ate myself silly today, I did have a big go at Jacko the Spacko ealier and he leapt into the gate between the two paddocks and bust it big time ?? Opss how clumsy of him, that’s what happens when you parade around with a love heart on your bum, and it’s not like I didn’t warn him.
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November 4th 2007
For crying out loud I just wish this rain would stop!!!
I’m soaking, I have water dripping off the end of my nose, my mane in a mess, my hoofs are all wet and I swear my legs have shrunk. If I had socks they would frankly be just?filthy right now.
We are back up at my little spot of paradise the area just above the top of the bottom paddock where the nice long lush green grass is. That has even lost it’s appeal as there is so much rain that eating grass is like playing dunk the apple, every time I bend down to eat some grass it’s like sticking my head in a bucket of water.
I’m suppose to chew grass not slobber it all over my face….sigh…
Anyway Dad came over to give me some moral support and a hug, I really wasn’t in the mood so just walked away. I know he was being nice and all that, and I did sort of appreciate the effort he made especially when he’s stood there looking like some statue in a water fountain, but I was having a big sook and was happy being melancholy. Didn’t stop him though, he came trudging through the long grass, his jeans were wet right up to the knee, just to give me a hug.
Do you know what he said??? “Hey Bazz it looks like it might rain today”? PUHAHAHAHAAHA funny bugger, even I had to let out a little snort at that, looks like it might rain? I’m half expecting Noah to rock up here any second and start building a bloody big ark. Well me and Cherry are sorted, don’t hold up much hope for the rest of em unless he changes the rules and lets more than two of us on
This is suppose to be summer!!! Strewth mate gimme a break.
Anyway seeing as it’s so wet and there is nothing much to do, and I am bored senseless, I thought I’d just wind up BFM Bonny?just to show her who’s boss.?So there she is having a suck on the grass and I walk over and start nudging her, she’s getting pretty miffed cos she’s not in the best of moods, so right on cue, her ears go right back and she turns to bite me and whoosh I’m gone, she goes to chase after me, and you should have seen it…. Legs?and hoofs going all over the place…RATFGMRD….?Nobby-no nuts, Cherry and Taffy are in fits of laughter, Jacko the Spacko had that surprised look on his face which only comes from having no idea what’s just happened, and BFM Bonny is not impressed. Have you ever seen a 17.2hh Clydie try and move fast in the wet??? She’s flicking her head in the air, her legs look like tree trunks with dustbin lids stuck on the bottom, bloody great feet slapping all over the place and she’s kicking her back legs out. LOL Hey Bonny you practicing for dancing with the stars mate??? PUHAHAHAH
Oh well you gotta do something to stay amused
November 3rd 2007 (still)
Man I am seriously miffed. It is raining Moggies and Satans Puppies something shocking here today. The skies just opened up and the next minute the paddock is looking like an Olympic swimming pool.
We were up on the reserve at the top of the bottom paddock, Dad let us up there earlier and it’s like heaven up there, loads and loads of long lush green grass, yum yum yum yum yum. Only been there three times this year and the first two were when I opened the gate an escaped
And then it poured, and then it rumbled and then the sky started lighting up Dad came over to help us back into the bottom paddock where it was safer, he didn’t want any of us getting struck by the lights from the sky, he was slipping all over the place but he got BFM Bonny down there first and then came got me, when I went Cherry and Nobby No-nuts followed. Just as we got to the gate there was this big flash of light and I was really scared and jumped up in the air and ran really quick into the bottom paddock.
Dad then went and got Taffy and Jacko followed him down as well, we were all a bit scared especially with the loud rumbles and the lights and stuff but Dad was there, LOL he looked like a drowned furry thing, he calmed us all down and then back to the big stable.
That was like 2 hours ago and it’s till chucking it down.
Seriously not happy
On the plus side I’m real happy with have BFM Bonny in the paddock with us now, that mare is so big we all just stand behind her to keep dry hehehe
November 3rd 2007
Right, that’s it!!! I’m over that BFM Bonny.
God she is just sooooo bossy. Nag nag nag, move here, no not there, get out of the way blah blah blah.
Poor old Cherry has been getting pushed around all day by her. I went and had a word to her just to remind her who the boss of the paddock is and she put her bloody ears back and went to bite me and if that wasn’t bad enough she then barged me out of the way. Hufff, I’m not having that.
I’d go and have another word but I’m too much of a gentlehorse otherwise I would, I can tell ya.
Dad came down to see me earlier, thought I’d like my doonah rug. I was so pleased to see him, he stayed with me for ages just rubbing me and scratching my nose and stuff. I had a big sook with him and stuck my head under his arm. I think he had an idea what was going on cos Bonny nudged into him and he gave her a big shove back and stared right at her and growled and she backed right off. Good on ya Dad!!!
Taffy and Nobby have the right idea they have well been keeping their distance, she went to push Nobby away and he bucked out at her, mind you he scarpered pretty quick when she turned around ? Bless him.
And now she has us following her everywhere she goes??? What the??? We were all stood by the gate between the two paddocks for ages, no idea why, just stood there like lemmings. I went and snuggled up to Cherry cos she was feeling down after being picked on all day.
Yeah , yeah I know!!!
Anyway hope she settles back down tomorrow and we can go back to me being boss of the paddock again. I know she’s new and all that but I think a couple of days of me pretending she’s boss is enough, don’t you?
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November 2nd 2007
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Woo Hoo!!! My blog has made the finals of the 2007 weblog awards. If I win I get to go to Las Vegas in Hamerica and pick up my trophy and stuff.
Hope they have a big plane and an even bigger poop scoop
It would be nice to win especially if there?is food as a prize ? But what does make me happy is all of you’s that come and read about me every day, that’s what makes me feel special, so thankyouuuuu for being here and reading about me, and sending me emails and going on hot to trot etc.
Loves ya!!!!
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November 1st 2007
Pinch and a punch for the first of the Month, No Returns!!! White Rabbits!!!
I feel better for getting that in before anyone else LOL
Oh yeahhhhhh, The win Bazz stuff competition. I’ve spent the whole day with my nose up Bonny’s bum I nearly forgot
Oh boy that was hard having to judge a winner from the 100’s if not Millions of entries from all over the World, especially cos I have no idea what half of you lot were going on about. What I did pick up on was that most ‘Umans have tatty clothes and no money cos they have spent it all on their horsies?:)? Just needed to look at my Dad and I could have worked that one out PMSL
Anyway, before I announce the winner I thought I’d give you some of the best, only some though, cos they were all good and I can’t put them all up.
The criteria for the winner was the one that made my dad snort the most coffee out of his nose onto his desk ?
You should have seen the mess in his office after going through all the entries
Anyway the runners up (Who get bugger all by the way) are;
Anne
I need to win so I can show my House Panther I’m not the total loser he thinks I am.? (and you so are LOL, opps Nobby typed that)
Megan
Because Toastie will brain me if I don’t get her a hat, pronto.
Belinda
My uman’s chased me in a helicoptor, trucked me from the Kimberley to this freezing state and lord knows where I’ll end up if she doesn’t have something new to wear! Note to self - the cap is mine!??
Stephanie
I ate her other hat and T-Shirt, the poor stupid thing is quite destitute taking care of me and that old senile sister of mine. She uses Mom’s shirts to wipe her drool. (RATFGMRD!!!! hahahahahaha you ate her hat and t-shirt LOL ? )
Paula
Coz I have to haul her fat ass around for a whole hour four times a week. Life is hard! (OMG you so can’t say that!!! Puhahahah he he)
Juliet
Her t-shirts have holes in them.? Honest, I’m ashamed to be seen out with her! (Psssss ssss ahhhhh puahahahahah wrong!!!)
Willobee the black & white cob
My sharer is painfully uncool.? No, it’s true !? She wears tatty jumpers and muddy boots and her hair is a mess.? It’s harsh, but I’m embarrassed to be seen out in public with her.? Now, if she was to win a Bazzy Boy t-shirt and base-ball cap, I’d feel much better (You should go live with Juliet at least she only has holy T-Shirts LOL)
AND THE WINNER IS!!!!!!!!!!
Bazzy Boy
Cos I rock!!!!
WOHHHOOOOO WELL DONE !!!!! AWESOME DUDE I WIN!!!
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Apparantly sigh….. According to my?big doof of a Dad I’m not allowed to win. Bloody fix if you ask me, what a loaddddddd of rubbbbbbbishhhhhh.
Fine……. the person that came second, but wins by default (bit like the horse that came second winning the cup cos the first horse got himself disqualified, shallow victory and all that stuff) was
Pat
Because ‘umans over here have two heads and we need as many hats as we can get
PMSL, RATFGMRD, LSHIPDML etc, etc. Still not as good as mine but brilliant none the less
Well done Pat and thanks to everyone who entered the comp. Guess I’ll have to think up another one now that was so much fun
October 31st 2007
OMG!!! Mama mia.
Well there I was set for another lazy day around the paddock and it all went very weird. First of all this huge big mobile dunny came down the driveway and my first thought was Dad was getting rid of all us horsies ? But then I thought nahhh he wouldn’t do that he loves us too much. That must mean someone is coming rather than someone going.
Well even I was surprised for what happened next.
Check it out!!!! The arrival of Bonny the BFM (17.2hh Clydie TB Cross)
The arrival of the Monster Mobile Dunny.
We all go over to have a look at what’s going on.
She checks me out and is much impressed, ignores Nobby no-nuts and Jacko though
We all go and get use to our new paddock mate, she can’t keep away from me
Dad comes over and has a chat to me, he’s a bit worried that I might be upset at us having another horse. I wasn’t until he mentioned that she was his new rider ? But then I thought about it and I’m like, so that means I don’t have to do any more work now!!! wooo hooo.?Dad said I’d still have to do some work but he’s putting me into early retirement because I have already done more work than any horse he knows.??
When it had all quietened down I went and had a chat with Bonny. How big is that head!!! Anyway I told her how the paddock worked, you know the basic guidelines, paddock etiquette etc, like I get fed first, I don’t do the work thing so she will need to pick up the slack, Cherry is Jacko’s girlfriend, ya know the basic stuff like that.
And that was it really, we just cruised around the paddock together for the rest of the day just getting to know each other. I think she really appreciated me just spending time with her on her first day, she’s a bit smitten with me already but I guess that was going to happen.
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October 30th 2007
Wooo hooo My Dad came down to the paddock earlier and showed me my bronze statue
It’s now finished and has pride of place in the big stable.
Just like my Grandad (Danehill) and Great Great Grandad (Nothern Dancer) I now have a bronze statue showing me in my finest moment.
You can see there statues on the family tree (click here)
Mine is below!!!
Erm yes, I am win’sucking the top off the fence post PMSL
The statue was made by the famous Australian sculpture and artist Anthony Syndicas
Anthony is the little guy on the left. The big doof head on the right is my Dad.
C’mon how cool is that eh???
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October 29th 2007
Crikey, after the weekend it’s so quiet I can actually hear Nobby no-nuts brain creaking
Well I know this will disappoint anyone looking for me to have done something crazy today, but I did bugger all, all day. not a thing, nuffink, nada. Just laze around and graze around.
I guess I just needed to chill after the camp. Well it was a bit in-tents. HAHAHAA?get it, oh whatever!!!
Anyway, don’t forget, cos my dad reminded me to remind you, which was silly cos he has to type it, so I had to then remind him to remind you that the compeition to win some Bazzy gear closes tomorrow. Winner will be announced on the first, Australian Bazzy Time.
Also the 2007 weblog awards will announce the finalists on the 1st and hopefully my blog will get a show, so if it does can you all please vote for me, pretty please.
I’ll get Dad to put a link up to the voting if I get picked.
Oh and today’s diary entry was sponsored by Saddleworld, in Ballarat. It wasn’t really I’m just saying that in the hope I can score some free stuff from them that I can eat cos Dad didn’t feed me tonight!!!!! Kerry and Peter who own the place makes my dad spend all his money there and they have this ‘Uman magnet thing in their shop cos everytime my Dad goes to town it sucks him into their store. PMSL I love it when Dad goes there cos he always gets me something cool, like my Western Saddle and my ulcer stuff. But they can keep that yucky wormy stuff cos it tastes like poo.
Talking of Dad not feeding me! Oi lanky, get down here and feed me ok!!!
Mind you he did put my rug on which I suppose was a good effort especially as I decided to walk off half way through him doing it I wasn’t being naughty, I just forgot he was there, he was being so quiet I just moved off to eat some grass and then realised he was still crouching down looking at me with that”Where the heck do you think you are going” look on his face. Opps, my bad.
Mind you, and there seems to be a lot of mind you’s for a day where nothing happened, but Jacko the Spacko, nearly got a good telling off from Dad tonight cos he decided he was actually going to run away when he was being rugged. He did it about three times before he growled at him and cornered him by the fence.
Oh, oh, oh yeah I nearly forgot. Nobby no-nuts “I have a hole so big in my neck you could fit a saddle in it” has got better, the Aunty Biotics worked and he’s feeling much better now. I was getting a bit worried about it, but it’s healing up nice and he’s stopped acting like a prune.
Mind you (ratfgmrd) Taffy has got some smelly skin condition and he’s getting a spray of Aunty Spectic on his back. Well ok it’s not actually smelly I made that bit up, Taffy is though LOL. Anyway, he’s just being ridden a lot (bloody show off) so he’s been getting all sweaty and stuff and just needs a clean every time he comes back.
Oh and I forgot to mention in my long winded rant last night, but in the middle of the camp, my Dads mates from the fire brigade (my Dad is a firefighter) turned up in the big red fire truck and set the sirens and light off and nearly scared the life out of me ? And then Dad got the fire hose from the trucks and sprayed all the pygmies till they were soaked. That was really funny, I laughed so hard it ran down my leg.
October 28th 2007
OMG that was just soooo full on.
There was these big cars, and little cars and trucks, and pygmies, and big people and satans puppies and big flappy people stables and balls and fires and loads of smells and noises and stuff and I got really scared when I saw the flappy people stables and run around the paddock and then a ball landed near me and I ran the otherway and then?a load of ‘Umans and Dad and a load of pygmies came to the bottom paddock and they all patted me and said hello and stuff and chased rabbits around and more ‘Umans came when it was?dark and all the Jeeps went away and then I saw them in the hills and then they came back and then there was a fire and that scared me too and then there was all this talking and laughing noises and then it went quiet and I could here some of the stallion ‘Umans making sleeping noises and farting and then they all woke up and all the Jeeps started and they all drove off and then they all came back and Dad let us out into the top paddock near the big flappy people stables and and and , ohhhhh I’m right bloody stressed out.
I’m going to bed and try not to think about it.
October 26th 2007
I’m soooo excited I can’t sleep
We have a load of my Dads friends coming over tomorrow for “Camp Bazz” hehe they named it after me.
My Dad loves driving in the mountains with his Jeep so all his Jeepy friends are coming over to camp in the top paddock and go driving at night in the forest. Bit strange if you ask me, but whateverrrrrrrrr.
That means I bet I get loads of treats and as long as I don’t go flicking one of the pygmies off my back I should get loads of rubs and pats too.
I am so going to behave myself, sorrta, maybe.
Camp Bazz!!! Woohooo?
Hang on, wonder if Dad is going to give me a shower in the morning and get all this mud and poo off me It’s going to be 28 tomorrow so a shower would be nice
October 25th 2007
WOOO HOOO it worked!!!!!
I didn’t have to do anything today, thanks for your comments on yesterdays blog entry.
I woke up this morning, didn’t eat my breakfast, prayed for rain which worked cos it rained nearly all day. Mental note to self, only pray a little bit next time.
I them limped all the way to the bottom of the paddock whilst chucking my head in the air so Dad thought I was lame and then rolled in a load of mud and poo and then stood behind Cherry so Dad couldn’t see me.
Dad didn’t want to ride me and I didn’t have to do anything else so that really rocked!!!
Oh, except I stink, I’m soaking wet from the rain, my neck aches, I’m cold, caked in mud, bloody starving and Cherry isn’t talking to me cos I stood behind her all day smelling like a bush pig.
Thanks a bloody lot, think I would have preferred to have gone for a ride with my Dad
Oh except his ribs are still sore PUHAHAHAHAH
Opps I’m not suppose to laugh at my Dad, right???
October 23rd 2007
Oh my, the website is in the top 10 of the Top 100 Equestrian sites, number 6 to be precise. Well that was a surprise ? It was 28 yesterday, wonder if Dads finger is aching from all that clicking
Nobby “I have a hole in my neck” No-nuts is not looking too flash today, Dad had to go see the vet today to get some jections for him, he has to have some Aunty Biolics or something and stuff in his food and spray stuff on his neck and extra hugs and scratches and things. Spoilt brat
Actually I am a bit worried about him, he’s not his normal annoying self, he’s looking all upset about it.
I did have to laugh though at the thought that the pain in the neck has a pain in his neck, but then I realised I’m being good this week and that’s not very nice to laugh and drippy neck when he’s feeling down.
dad had to give him some treatment and cos I was naughty to him earlier this week I wasn’t allowed to laugh when he completely stuffed up his jection and stabbed him in the bum with a needle and bent it.
I so wanted to say the prick in the bum joke but realised I was just asking for trouble
I did have to go hide when Dad then decided to stick a needle in the other side of his neck, poor bugger has more holes in him than a swiss cheese.
CHILDREN AND INDY’S MOM COVER YOUR EYES —- He’s had more pricks in him this week than Paris Hilton
Oh my bad Puhahahahahahaha
Hope he gets better soon so I can bite him again ? I’mmmmmm joking calm down.
Don’t go posting Bazzy hate messages again!!!
October 22nd 2007
Thank god it’s cooled down a bit. It was 30 degrees yesterday and really warm, hotest day so far this spring. Back to normal now though, cold and wet ? Been raining for most of the day. Dad came to see me this morning to give me a feed and say g’day, he’s gone to Melbourne?now, so I won’t see him until tomorrow.
I miss him when he’s not here to give me a rub and a scratch?:(
I had a nice snuggle with Cherry earlier, least she’s still talking to me 
Yes I’m feeling very melancholy!!!
October 20th 2007
October 19th 2007
I was all hot today so dad gave me a shower, it was really funny cos dad kept squirting the water at my ears and I kept trying to duck, he let me drink out of the end of the shower hose though so that was cool.
He then put this bubble stuff on me and rubbed it all over, I had bubbles everywhere. I went in to the paddock to dry off and I could still smell it
Got to eat some more food though ? Dad gave me the rest of my breakfast that I was eating before the ride.
Dads been hard feeding me to help me get some condition back after the winter, not so ribby now He says I’m starting to look pregnant .. what the?
Look how shiny I am hehe.
October 18th 2007
I loves my Dad, putting aside the fact that’s he a total idiot sometimes, but for a “Uman he’s not so bad
Nobby no-nuts has not been his normal self this last couple of days, someone and I have no idea who it was, decided to bite into Nobby’s neck. I reckon it was?Jacko the Spacko?and told my Dad as much, he just stood there looking at me with that “Uh-huh” look on his face.
I’m like, err why I would do such a thing?, I love that woofty coloured no knackers shortarse ?
Anyway Dad can normally catch him no problem but Nobby is obviously not too happy so kept running off when Dad went near him. Now Dad does not have a lot of patience when it comes to Horsies, especially when they decide to run off when he wants to catch them. I was half expecting my Dad to just go walking off back to the?big stable but instead he stayed in the paddock with us for nearly an hour just trying to calm Nobby down so he could put his blanket on to keep him warm. Ahhhhhhh…. bless him.?
Anyway to keep himself entertained he decided it would be just so funny to start chasing me around the paddock. It was very dark and he had this sunlight stick that shines?sunlight in a circle in front of you. He kept making the light jump up on to my legs and?I had to run away cos I was scared, and then he shone it at my ears and I thought they would get really hot and melt so I started trying to?rear up just to get away. Dad was sitting on the grass laughing his head off at me ? Called me a silly big doof head. I could see the funny side of it really cos I knew he would never hurt me so I walked up to him and nudged him till he fell over.
He went and did it again!!!! right on the end of my nose!!! He’s rolling on the floor laughing, I’m running around in circles just to keep up the entertainment for him hehe, this bloody light stick thingy is following me all over the place, Cherry is snorting cos she’s laughing so much?:) and at that point Nobby decides to come over and check out what we are all doing.
Dad showed him the lightstick and he started to lick the end of it, Dad left it on the floor and slowly got up and slid Nobby’s blanket over him and done it up nice and snug.
He gave us all a good scratch and a rub and headed back to the big stable.
That was fun!!!
October 17th 2007
Woo Hoo check it out!!!? Dad got bored so added some fun e-cards to the website.
Main menu now has a new option for you to send a pic of me to your horsey but you can put your own message on it and stuff!!!
There are 4 cards to choose from and Dad will change them now and again so you have to have a look for when they change.
What ya fink????
October 16th 2007
Woo hoo I got my own horseanlised mobile dunny
How sorrta cool, if you see me on the road you have to honk real loud ok!!!
Wont be me in it mind ? No way am I going in there even if it does have a pic of me on it LOL
Anyway, Dad tried to scare me with the sign yesterday, he called me over to have a look and when I got near him he wiggled it and it made this really loud noise, scared the crap out of me it did, and yes I did run away.
?
October 13th 2007
OMG Horse eating pygmies every where today.
We had 8 of them in the paddock, some really really small ones and the biggest being the resident “Hay head” the?teenage mutant ninja pygmy (the one that rides Taffy)
Anyway we sort of got used to it by mid-day until one of the ‘Umans started walking down the paddock with two of the pygmies in a little pygmy armoured personel carrier, poor old Cherry was beside herself, obviously never seen a buggy before, one look at it and she was goooown. I had to laugh ? Bless her, got into a right state she did.
Jacko the Spacko was good fun today as well, Dad came down to put our rugs on, he threw the rug over Jacko who promptly reared up into the air before legging it ? Dad just huffed off with the rug back to the big stable.
What a plonker PMSL
October 12th 2007
Things have gone badly wrong in the forum !!!!!
Rum, and don’t ask me why, decided to share with us all how his ‘Uman cleans his dangly bits. Now I’m sort of ok with that until Dad tries it on with me that is ? but that’s not the disturbing bit. The really really not quite right bit is Rum actually has a song for it.
Prepare yourselves horsies.
Let’s all sing along, to the tune of “If you’re happy and you know it”……..
If it’s hanging and you see it lube your hands
If it’s hanging and you see it lube your hands
If it’s hanging and you see it
Grab it quick its time to clean it
If it’s hanging and you see it lube your hands.
If it’s peely and its crusty pick it off
If it’s peely and its crusty pick it off
If it’s peely and its crusty
and the smell is kind of musty
If it’s peely and its crusy pick it off
If his weenie has a beanie dig it out
If his weeny has a beanie dig it out
If his weiner has a beaner
pull it out and he’ll be cleaner
If his weenie has a beanie dig it out.
Now he’s happy and you know it wash your hands
Now he’s happy and you know it wash your hands
It’s a job that’s kind of kinky
And now your hands are really stinky
But he’s happy and you know it wash your hands
LOL RATFGMRD
Now you reckon he would leave it alone at this point wouldn’t you… Hmmm ohhhh no, he has another song too
The Sheath Cleaning Song
Author Unknown
Sing it to the tune of “Hello Mother, Hello Father” from camp song
How’s it hangin’?
So much cleaner.
Aren’t you glad I
washed your wiener?
I’ll admit it’s
kinda creepy
that I had to stick my arm up in your pee-pee.
It was sticky.
It was gunky.
It felt icky.
It smelled funky.
It was cruddy,
it was crusty–
when you stuck it out, it creaked like it was rusty.
After half an
hour of toilin’
and of squirtin’
baby oil in,
you’re as fresh there
as a daisy.
Either this means I love you or else I’m crazy!!!
Me thinks we need to have a word with that horse Rum, now I can’t get that silly song out of my head and Nobby No-nuts keeps looking at me real strange
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October 11th 2007
I have done absolutely bugger all again today, cept eat that is
Did have a bit of a Mexican stand off with Dad earlier, he had the feed bucket and was calling me but I wouldn’t cross the little stone path cos my feet are sore from not having my shoes on so I just stood there waiting for Dad to bring the food to me.
He was standing by the tack room door refusing to budge. He kept grabbing?a handful of the food and was pretending?to eat it so I’d come and get the rest but I’m smarter than that, I knew what he was up to and I wasn’t going to cross the path and give in to him.
So he is stood one side I’m stood the other, he starts eye balling me, so I started flicking my head at him and stretching my neck to get near the feed.
I told him?he should bring the food over to me
And then,?I couldn’t believe it, he just puts the food bin down and walks off.
I shouted back at him with a big neigh but he just ignored me, I saw Cherry come around the corner and she clocks the food bin and heads straight for it so I rush across the path to beat her to it and I hear my Dad pissing himself laughing at?me.
Little bugger knew?I was going to do that, pahhhh I hate it when he out smarts me?:(? ?
I rekon he was just worried I was going to tread on his foot again hehe, think I might aim a bit higher next time
October 10th 2007
White thing is leaving the building!!!
Yup she gone. Mobile dunny turned up this morning, first I thought another horse had arrived but I didn’t smell nuffink so I’m then like, err uh-oh that means someone is going.
Next thing Dad comes up with White Thing and loads her on to the mobile dunny, I think White Thing was a little scared cos she had a poop in there and my Dad had to clean it up. You should have seen my dads face LOL he was not too happy. He had poop on his boots too. Oh how I laughed!!!
And then he growled at me so I shut up, and he then started laughing at me, so I growled at him and he shut up, so I laughed at him and then he flicked the poop on my shiny new hoofs so I shut up, so he laughed at me and then Nobby no-nuts laughed at me too, sigh I hate it when Dad acts like a colt.
Anyway I went for a plod and a trot in my new barefoot hoofs and it was great, I kept away from the little stones on the?path though Dad came over and gave me a bucket of feed so we made up, sorrta, maybe
These new hoofs of mine make me feel a little unsteady, I mean it’s going to right, totally normal to misplace your feet now and again. Well there I was in the feed area, my Dad saying sorry for flicking the poop and all that and the next thing I remember is trying to put my hoof down next to the feed bin and completely missing and putting it down on my Dads foot instead. How silly did I feel eh PUHAHAHAHAH
He said I did it deliberately OMG like I would do that to my lovely poop throwing Dad ??
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October 9th 2007 (BFT Special)
Well today was the day!!!
No more anvil wielding maniac for me. Deadhead Scissor Hands (Luke) came today and gave me an initial sorting out of my hoofs. The back ones were pretty shonky due to my recent hoon around the paddock. I had ripped off my two back shoes, one of them the nails had created quite a bit of havoc when they got pulled off by the shoe. I also had a split in the other one that I have had for over a year now.
Check out the before and afters below. I’m going to get them done again in 6 weeks so I will keep posting the progress, Deadhead says that the split should come good with the barefoot thingy.
??
I think he was more scared than?I was, I just took it all in my stride
? 
Thought I’d have a little wind suck whilst Deadhead got busy
Back Left before (note my crack) Opps that sounds wrong
? 
?????????????????????????????? Back Left After - Pretty happy with that
Back Right Before (see where my shoe got ripped off)
? 
???????????????????????????? Back Right After - I got sexy feet
??
???????????????? ?Front Left Before????????????????????????????? ???????? ? And Front Left After
? 
???????????????? Front?Right Before????????????????????????????? ??????? ?? Front?Right After
??
??????????????? Frog (ribbett) Before??????????????????????????????????????? ? Frog After?
So what ya fink about my sexy new hoofs then??I’m really stoked about it (That’s happy by the way) cos now I don’t have to worry about hurting my hoofs when I rip off those metal thingies and cos I run so fast it happens quite often, especially when I’m racing and jumping and stuff
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October 8th 2007
Where’s my bloody Dad gone this time??? Can’t keep track of him at the moment. He shot off the other night to go fight a fire and now he’s gone again. Bet he’s down in Melbourne having a sleep ? Anyway hope he gets back tomorrow cos the Anvil Wielding Maniac wont be coming because Deadhead Scissor Hands the Barefoot trimmer is coming instead.
Apparantly Dad finally conceded to give it a go so I get to have nekid hoofs, woohooo. I say woohoo with a lot of bravado I might add, I’m actually pooping myself thinking about it, what if he trims my whole leg off by accident
October 5th 2007
Man I’m buggered, no not like that, sighh……
Got myself into a right state earlier, Dad was calling us down to the bottom paddock, got me didn’t he, started waiving the food bucket around and off I go like an obedient little puppy.
Must check to see if I have any lemming in?my blood line!!! Anyway, off I trot into the bottom paddock and start to have a munch and notice that I am the only one down here (again!!!) Stoopid horses are all stood up?at the back of the top paddock looking to see what’s going on.
Next minute PANNNNNNIICCCC. I tried to jump back through the gate but?Dad was way too quick for me, I MISS MY HERD ? I started galloping at full pelt up and down the fence line, my Dad is clapping and shouting “way to go Baz” I must have done it about 10 times back and forth, neighing like crazy.
God knows what the neighbours thought.
I must admit I even surprised myself with how fast I was running, maybe I could sneak under the radar into the spring carnival and get my flu jab LOL
Anyway Dad realised I was getting a little stressed and went and brought Cherry down, soon as she came the rest of them followed, and then I was ok again, but now I’m really buggered and need to go lie down for the rest of the day, after I finish eating of course
October 4th 2007
opps I lost a shoe.
Damn that means I can’t go riding out on the road till the anvil wielding maniac has graced us with his presence again. Oh blast and there I was so looking forward to a nice gallop down the road, now I’ll have to stay here and eat grass all weekend
Personally I think it’s just best if I stay with three shoes on at the moment, do my bit for the environment and all, ya know, reduce my carbon hoof print and all that jazz.
Last time he came it was getting dark and he had to turn a light bulb on, bloody carbon hoof print went through the roof, actually my carbon hoof print nearly went through the anvil wielding maniacs head PMSL
Talking of reducing emissions, not that we were mind, but anyway, really need to have a word with Cherry. She did a thunderclap near my head the other day and I swear to god it parted my mane. Wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong!!! and ewwwwww!!! and yuk!!!,?and pahhhhhhhhh!!!
October 3rd 2007
Wooohooo what fun I had today!!!!!!
Dad took me down the paddock to do some barrel racing. Yup tis true, and I totally like aced it, first time as well!!
So nah nah nah nahhhhhh to all you doubters out there. Another equine challenge conquered.
Check it out by clicking on da pic below
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October 2nd 2007
WHERE’S MY BLOODY FLU JAB YA MONGRELS!!!!
It might have escaped the notice of the Australian and?Victorian State Governments as well as the racing industry in general?but there is in fact a legend here in need of a jab. I might not be running in the “Sprinnnnnnng Carnivaaaaal” but I am a racehorse ya know!!!
Seems only the horses running in the Spring Carnival are going to get flu jabs so it doesn’t disrupt the Melbourne Cup. Show must go on and all that. Looks like someone will loose way too much money unless the event goes ahead, I mean all that Chardonnay that’s been ordered will all go to waste and with no horsies to bet on all that income from gambling will be gone.
Well folks I don’t give a rats arse about the Melbourne Cup, been there done that, sorrta, maybe. But I do care about getting equine influenza and that’s only cos horsies go off their food when they have it and I’m on a mission to eat myself stoopid and nothing is going to stop me in my quest.
So if anyone from Racing Victoria is reading this or anyone else for that matter that has any connection to the whereabouts of these flu jabs.
GET YOUR BUTTS OVER TO MY PADDOCK AND SORT IT OUT!!!!
Rant over
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October 1st 2007
Wohhooo check it out. Got this image from INDY in VA’s Mom Bobbie.
The first official photo shoot of anyone wearing one of Bazz’s T-Shirts.
Love the pic, especially INDY trying to hide Oh god I’m going to end up in the diary I know it !!!
Mate it’s all good, wouldn’t say anything horrible about one of my best Hamerican buddies now, would I?;)?
September 30th 2007
Today was bucking Sunday.
That actually sounds worse than it was meant to
No idea what Dad has been putting in my food lately, maybe it’s beans cos I feel full of ‘em.??When Dad came to feed me tonight I was right down by the gate so I chased Dads Jeep all the way along the paddock AT FULL GALLOP!!! And I was so excited I was kicking my legs out all over the place LOL.
Dad said I looked like a bucking?bronco, or a bucking idiot. Couldn’t really hear cos I was going so fast LOL?
And we had a visitor today!!! The mobile dunny turned up with a Morgan. It was only a small fella, but he was giving it loads of “look at me, look at me”!! You know what those Morgans get like
Anyway he went off for a ride with Jacko the Spacko and the White Thing.
The hay headed pygmy was out on Taffy so that just left me Cherry and Nobby No-nuts in the paddock.
God that Nobby is so dim. I’m like pssst Nobby, make yourself scarse mate!. And he’s like why Bazz? And I’m like, so I can be with Cherry on her own. And he’s like, well don’t ya want me to hang around with you. And I’m like err no!!!! I don’t, bugger off will ya. And he’s like, but I’ll be all on my own!!, and I’m like, AND????, and he’s like well it’s not fair everyone else is out enjoying themselves, and I’m like and that’s what I’m trying to do Nobby, now just bugger off.
And he’s like saying why you keep saying like Bazz? And I’m like, err, err like whateverrrrr.
Anyway i gave up in the end and did?Cherry in front of him.? Hahahah No I didn’t ? I’m just kidding with ya. I just went yahooing around the paddock having a big sook and bucking all over the place cos I could.
September 29th 2007 (still)
LOL My Dads an idiot!!!
September 29th 2007
Well I have no idea what’s going on with the weather these days. Yesterday it was warm and sunny and I only had my light rug on in the morning and then went nekid for most of the day
Today!!! Well.. Talk about taking the pee. It was freeeeezing. It got down to 3 degrees and my teeth were chattering and it had started to rain. We were all stood in a line facing away from the rain, one in front of each other. I had Jacko the Spacko in front of me and Cherry behind me. I’m thinking I bet that little bugger farts in my face, and that made me want to but I couldn’t cos I had Cherry behind me and I don’t want her thinking bad of me.
As I was pondering that thought I noticed Taffy off to my right all on his own, next minute these frozen balls came flying out of the sky, millions of ‘em, flying down and slapping into my bottom, and my head and they were pinging off my ears and everything. I’m like oh no now I’m going to poop myself and Cherry is right behind me. I look at Taffy and his just stood there freezing with his ears back and his head right down, poor little bloke looked so sad I fealt sorry for him.
I was just about to scarper and run like crazy around the paddock to escape these flying balls of ice when they stopped, just like that!!!
How bloody weird. I spent the rest of the day creeping around slowly just in case it happened again.?Stressed me right out it did.?
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September 28th 2007
WIN ME!!! (Well not me, idiot!!! The stuff below….sigh)
Hey, here’s ya chance to win a great Bazzy Boy TShirt and Hat, cos I talked my Dad into giving some away.
All ya has to do is fill in the form and that’s it. Dad said if you tell ya friends, and ya better cos if ya don’t I’ll know and come chew yer ears off, you get extra chances to win!!!
Entry form is here CLICK TO ENTER
You can enter as many times as you like but try and make it funny cos my Dad is going to have to read them all to pick a winner, and if they are not funny he wont feed me ?
Comp closes at the end of October 07 so you have plenty of time!! That does not mean you don’t have to do it right now, cos?you do !!!
Best of luck
Bazz
September 26th 2007
In a word, I have done absolutely bugger all today (again)
Told Dad I was still recovering from yesterday and then it started raining so he dashed inside the big stable. I so wish I could control that rain hehe.
Mind you he did come to feed me earlier and said that the hot to trot section now had over 200 horsies up there, I’m gonna go have a sneak later and maybe find myself a bit of fluff on the side, just better not let Cherry catch me
Actually I did hear from a mate of mine in Hamerica (Faroh The Magnificent) (what a great name that is, hmmmm Bazz the Fantastic, Bazz the Outstanding, Bazz the Doof)
Anyway, after seeing the pic of Jacko the Spacko with his heart on his bum etc, Faroh sent me a pic of a gelding in his paddock called Romeo
Romeo? WTF LOL err Gay
Anyway here it is
Yes that gelding does have a flower on his rump. It looks like a pansy ? So does the flower PUHAHAH
Seriously Romeo, Harden the F… up for gods sake.
If anyone else has a pic of a gelding with something on its butt, please send it to me so I can ridicule you on here
Oh and Romeo, leave my mate Faroh alone or I’ll be over there to give you some matching teeth marks for the other side
Oh and thanks for everyone (all 8 of you that is ) that have voted for my blog on the bloggers choice awards, I’m slowly working my way up to the top, only 11 more pages to go.
Nobody loves me, everbody hates me, mights well go and get worms
Short ones, fat ones, little squiggly wiggly ones… quit signing along you idiots … I’m going, that did my head in
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September 25th 2007
Oh bollox, I came so close to a hat trick today
Nearly had Bazzy 3 ‘Umans 0 but god knows how, Dad managed to stay on me ?? He came home earlier which was ace and then decided to ride me, which wasn’t so ace cos I was feeling a little bit more I?can’t be arsed than normal.
Anyway we went down towards the bottom paddock and first thing I noticed was the stalker up in front, everywhere I went this long black horse and rider were there in front of me, really was giving me the creeps and then as we got near the gate I noticed about 8 or 9 Kangeroo’s standing there with their backs to me and then they all turned around at exactly the same time to look at me.? I’m like go awaaayyy, pleassse, don’t set the lazer eyes on me I’m not in the mood.
Dad turns we away from them and I walk about 20m back up towards the big stable, I stop, Dad was quite happy looking?towards the big stable to see what one of the pygmies was up to and then KACHOW!!! No idea what set me off, I’m pretty sure I didn’t see anything scarey and pretty sure I didn’t hear anything strange and other than a very unpleasant odour coming from my back end, I’m pretty sure I didn’t smell anything unusal but something set me off. I did a tripple flying spinning circle twist with a half rear chucked in for good measure.
I couldn’t make my mind up whether to bolt, sit down, jump in the air or throw myself sideways so just did all of them really quickly hoping to confuse the hell out?of whatever was confusing the hell out of me. My eyeballs were spinning, my tail was swishing like crazy and god knows what my ears were up to. I could here Dad saying stuff like, Settle down Bazz, Whoaa, Oi Dickhead, It’s alright mate etc etc. I finally calmed down and stood still. Dad just sighed and?carried on as if nothing had happened.
We trotted up the hill and stopped so Dad could talk to the Pygmy. So hayhead did you see Bazz have a spack attack just then, how cool was that??Dad said to her. Yeah Dad that was awesome I thought he was going to bolt says hay head!! Nah he would?have to be able to run to do that.??
I’m like WTF???? don’t mind me, I just nearly had a massive heart faliure. I could actually see the funny side of it I guess, still have no idea how he manged to stay on mind.
Good to see him home ….
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September 24th 2007
I miss my Dad ?? He left this morning and he’s not home so I wont see him now till tomorrow.
Better give me a carrot when he comes back or I’m just gonna have to windsuck his ears off!!!
Actually I might just do that anyway. ?After I have eaten the carrot that is
September 23rd 2007
Well… To be honest?I have done bugger all today, nuffink, zip.
Had a real lazy Sunday. Had a nice sleep earlier, woke up and ate a heap of grass and that was about it. Dad popped down to see me, he’s not that crash hot at the moment, he’s got UF, ‘Uman Flu. He came down to do my hard feed and I’m like err Dad can you maybe not let that snot drip off your nose into my feed.. bless him?
Oh, actually something did happen today. White Thing decided to go visit the big stable, she walked up the verandah and right into Dads stable. Honest I’m not kidding, check out the photo. And then she went and checked out my website in my Dads hoffice and came back moaning about me calling her White Thing LOL.
Dad said I couldn’t do that cos I’m so big I’d fall through the verandah LOL
September 22nd 2007
I had a great?time with Dad this morning. He came and gave me a hard feed and I was so excited I started making this noise that Dad swore sounded like a “Uman saying thank you very much.
You can listen to it here cos he?recorded it on his mobile phone. If you have never heard a horse talk “Uman before here is your chance. BAZZ TALKING
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September 20th 2007
OMG I’m surrounded by idiots!!!
Check out my latest video. This is me being a racehorse, cos that’s what I do.
We had a standing start and the idea was that we race to the top of the paddock. As you can see I was the ONLY one that knew what was actually going on.
This is why I am the ONLY horse in this paddock that has actually raced. Sigh… You can tell, right?
Oh and I start at the back, the other big bay at the front is “I have a heart on my bum” Jacko (But he’s not a racehorse, never raced, too slow, all that sort of stuff)
Click pic to watch!!!
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September 19th 2007
Ok don’t panic, nothing to see here. Move along…
Dad came and saw me earlier tonight and had a chat. He told me he had measured Jacko’s wobbly bit and it is DEFINATELY much smaller than mine.
Not that it was worrying me and all.
Anyway I’m back on my food again and ate it all up tonight.
September 18th 2007
Blughhh I feel like crap today ?
Dad has been away for a couple of days and I have really been missing him and with Jack the Spack in the paddock trying to muscle in on me every two minutes, I’m just not feeling myself.
Dad came home tonight which was nice and he made me up a hard feed but I only ate half of it. And to top it all off it’s blowing a right gale as well. Maybe if I’m lucky it will blow Jack into the next paddock
September 16th 2007
Oh my, oh my, oh my I thought I had seen it all.
We got another horse today.
The new super-duper, spunk of a horse, gallion and stud muffin is called “Jacko”. Now slap me with a kipper but isn’t that a girlie name?? It needs something else to it like maybe Spacko Jacko or I look friggin stoopid Jacko RATFGMRD (Roll around the floor getting my rug dirty) Snort Snort LOL
Well what can I say eh? This big strapping horse comes off the mobile dunny and I’m like , oh this ain’t good and then he turns around……
PMSLSMIWML (Pee myself laughing so much I wet my legs)
WHAT’S WITH THE LOVE HEART?????
My gaydar just went right off the scale. OMG!!!!!!!!!!
Mind you he can run pretty quick, not quite as fast as me as he found out when I sank my teeth into his butt
I have a feeling this is going to be?so much fun ?
A love heart on his bum PUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
Oh no, I think I’m going to throw I’m laughing so hard!!?
A LOVE HEART ON HIS BUM!!!!!!!!! Psssssssssssssssssstttt HEHEH LOL
DEEP BREATH!!!!
PAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
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September 16th 2007 (UPDATE)?
Snigger!!
PAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Bollox I bet all the girls will like it. Humphhhh!
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September 15th 2007
Just wanted to say G’Day to all the lovelies over at Fugly Horse of the day.
Dad is always telling me about it and I was really happy when I was asked if I would write something for the site
Poor old Nobby RATFLMAO, sorry couldn’t resist it. I submitted Nobby as a Fugly Horse Man I kill myself sometimes
Check out the article on their website (FUGLY HORSE) and because it’s such a great site, there is now a permenent link to?it on the links menu on the right.
September 14th 2007
Couldn’t wait for October
September 13th 2007
:) I heard from a horsey called Xcaliper today. Comes from right over in Canadia which is just up the road from Hamerica.
Xcaliper listed on the Hot to Trot section (which I might add just notched up over 100 Horsey types, how cool is that)
Anyway I just had to show you this cos it’s been making me laugh all day since I heard about it. His mom reads my diary to him and here is a pic of him looking at her laptop.
LOL… How cool is that.
And yes, I know it’s true cos I saw it for myself
:)
September 12th 2007
Well you asked for it, so here it is!!!
Some video of me pushing myself to my absolute limits.
Dad will try and figure out how to embed the video in here, in the meantime you can watch them on you tube by clicking the picture links below.
Video 1 - Bazz the racehorse screaming up the road so fast only just about managed to get me on film. This was from the other day when Dad was cantering on me. Now a warning!!!! You need to watch very carefully otherwise I will be in and out of the frame before you realise what’s happening. Note the smoke trail coming from my rear.
Video 2 - This is me training for my steeplechase / cross country disciplines. I must say I’m pretty happy with how high I’m jumping now. I could have jumped much higher.
So go on, don’t tell me that wasn’t brilliant. How engaged and focussed am I eh!!! I was thinking of maybe coming out of retirement.
September 11th 2007
My Dad got some mail from his Mom today from England and guess what?
She sent the clip from your horse magazine that mentions me in it
I knew I would get to England one day, was sorrta hoping I could go in person and check out the New Forest ponies
Check it out
? 
September 9th 2007
Woo hoo go me !!!
September 8th 2007
What a lovely day it was today. Really warm for a change and Dad came and got me and rode me bareback up to the?big stable?and gave me a shower and shampoo. It was real funny because I was chasing the hose around trying to drink the water as my Dad tried to wash me. Now I smell all nice
Oh and just an update on some website changes. Dad moved the forum to the links area on the right of the page and put the tack room section back. He said it looks better like that but I know it’s cos he’s added some merchandise and stuff in the tack room.
And after the last few weeks of riding out on the roads and much to Dads amusement there are some new additions to the scary stuff page. Oh yeah yeah, very funny Dad. I’ll remember that next time you are sat on me
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September 7th 2007
Just wanted to say hi to Kimberly from igallopon
She did a big feature on the front of her website about me and she gets over 3,500 people a day looking at it.
You should go and have a look too. And then tell me about it cos I’m a horse and can’t read for poo.
September 6th 2007 Late Afternoon
OK I have a question for all you Geldings and Stallions out there.
Does yours bang against the inside of your leg when you trot?
Just curious becuase I don’t think my Dads does which would explain why he was getting so frustrated at me in the arena earlier because I wouldn’t trot.
I’m like, Dad I’m relaxed OK!!!? He’s like Bazz Trot!!! And I’m like I can’t right now I’m thinking of Cherry!!! And he’s like get a move on!!! And I’m like OUCH!!!
Anyway, ended up thinking of?the white thing?and all was good
Oh and I cantered in the arena ???oh oh , and I did 20 laps around the arena TROTTING all the way without stopping, and I did some jumps.
Bet I sleep well tonight ?
September 6th 2007
It’s quarter?to one on Thursday morning. It’s pitch black, stupidly cold, windy and I’m wide awake.
Bollox!!!
September 5th 2007
Oi !!! Where’s my dinner? God he’s so slow sometimes. If I pace around anymore my legs will drop off
September 2nd 2007
I had a great time earlier, did some riding with Dad, made extra special cos it’s Fathers Day today ??
Of course I was on my best behaviour and did everything I was told, even trotted for him on command and stopped and everything. I even did a half-pass in the arena to show off, my Dad started laughing and told me to pack it in before he sends me off for dressage lessons LOL.
One of his horse eating pygmies came along with Taffy the pony and the midget pygmy even got to have a ride on me ??
And then when I thought it couldnt get any better he rode me bare-back all the way down to the bottom paddock. He went off and came back with a big bucket of feed for me. Its supposed to be fathers day but I feel real special right now. Think maybe Dad is too.
September 1st 2007
Sorry I couldn’t wait
August 31st 2007
————————————————————
SNOTTY NOSE?UPDATE - WOOHOOO YEHAAAA
The ban has been lifted and I’m allowed out of the paddock to go riding now. Really happy about that, in fact it’s been so emotional I think I’ll go lie down for a couple of more days to get over it LOL
I’m happy that I can!! The fact I can’t be arsed is beside the point
————————————————————?
Wahey. Bazzyboy got nominated for a bludgers award ? Oh sorry that was bloggers award.
If you want to vote for me, and I just know you do heheh, you can vote here
August 30th 2007
OMG I’ve gone all shy!!! Dad said like a trillion horses came to the website today from all over the place. Loads and loads from England. He even said some whales came as well. Ok I get the horsey bit but why are whales from England .. oh never mind.
Annnnnyway. I’m now official bored to death. This flu thing has gone on way too long. Ok it’s been like 4 days but whateverrrrrrr. I want to go for a ride out on the road.
Dad said they might be lifting the ban on moving horses here tomorrow, so maybe, just maybe I’ll be allowed out. And then I can stuff it up by hooning all over the place and chucking Dad off into a bush .. err maybe not.
August 29th 2007
Well I had some fun today. Dad had me going around and around the arena which was cool cos I havn’t been up there all winter. But the best bit was when we finished my Dad rode me bareback through the paddock. Ok he nearly bust my ribs a couple of times trying to get on me
But I really enjoyed it, hope we can do it again
August 26th 2007
Achooo, just kidding ?? Dad told me I’m not allowed out of the paddock for a while because of some horsey cold that’s going around. He was looking pretty worried when he came to feed us, said that an equine influenza whatever that is has broken out in New South Wales and was heading to Victoria. The police were stopping all the mobile dunnies on the road and making them go back across the border and foals can die and all bad stuff like that.
We are not allowed to go on trials rides, pony club is off and looks like all over the Country horsies have to stay where they are and are not allowed out to race or see their friends in other paddocks. Dad said even the Anvil Wielding Manic and the Tooth vet are not allowed to come on to the property.
Sounds a bit full on if you ask me, but hey sounds like a great excuse for me doing nothing for a few weeks, if he comes near me with that bit I’ll start coughing all over him
Lucky for me Dad just got some feed the other day that will see us through, we could be here for 30 days before we can go out again. Dad said I wasn’t to get upset cos we can ride around the property and can do jumps and stuff.? Err yeah righty-ho dad … No chance
Anyway what I was going to say was, if your a horse and you have a runny nose and a cough, bugger off somewhere else cos I don’t want yer smelly germs. And don’t you go giving them to my Cherry neither.
There was some stuff about it in the paper. Here is a link so you know what he’s talking about?Link about snotty noses?
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August 25th 2007
What on earth was I thinking??? Talk about a duh moment. Dad took me for a ride today which was great, but after the ride earlier in the week when I decided to have my prancy moment, Dad decided to pull a fast one on me.
There I was in the yard and Dad was putting my saddle on, I was a bit distracted because I had just had a visit from the anvil weilding manic. Anyway, Dad has left a bale of hay by the tack room door so I was chomping away like you do, Dad sticks his hand around to put the bitless bridle on and I open my mouth to say “Hold on to your horses Dad I’m eating” when BLAM, he shoves a bit in my mouth.
I’m like wtf!!! I thought I was bitless ? I’m trying to eat my hay with this chunk of metal in my gob, before I had half a chance to protest he was on my back and we were on the road. Took me the whole ride to get my head around having a bit again, just when I had that all sorted out, we were home again. I’m like, oh bloody hell I didn’t even get chance to hark up and throw a sook. Now he’s going to think I was happy and that means he will go and do it again. Gee I’m so dumb sometimes.
August 21st 2007
I’mmmm too sexy for my shirt, too sexy for my shirt, sooo sexy it hurrrttts.
I’mmmm too sexy for my rug, too sexy for my rug, sooo sexy it bugggsss… the crap out of Nobby no-nuts who didn’t get a new rug
Dad got me a new rug and under blanket today, I feel so warm and loved.
In fact I feel very warm, would have been nice to have got this in the middle of winter not in spring you idiot.
August 19th 2007 Special Edition
August 17th 2007
OMG my fantasy mare Makybe Diva?just dropped a sprog. She was a huge Australian racing legend like me
Anyway I’ve gone off her now she’s used goods 
just kidding, don’t beat me, settle downnnnnnn
If her foal runs as fast as she did it will be awesome that’s for sure
August 16th 2007
The rain in Spain falls mainly on my mane yes I’m bored :p
August 15th 2007
I just realised that grass doesn’t really taste that good, oh well better eat some more. And why can’t I stop staring today? I keep looking at the big stable in case I miss something. There is no-one in but I still keep bloody staring, and eating more tasteless grass. And why does my rug itch? And what’s with the rolling in the mud bit? It’s fine when I’m doing it but now I’m all covered in mud and it has dried and my hair is a mess. Oh for gods sake get a grip. Now I’m talking to myself!!! agghhhhhh humpphh. I can’t believe I’m letting a bad mane day get to me
August 14th 2007 (Update)
Ok I lied, I can be arsed
Dad came down and took me for a ride earlier. It seems like ages since we went riding together, Dad had to go see the vet and he had to have a hole cut in his leg so he hasn’t been able to ride me because he had some stitches or something like that.
Anyway the Vet said he could ride me again later this week but Dad couldn’t wait that long. It was really cool just riding around the paddock. Even got a nice surprise, Dad bought me a new saddle, he got me a Syd Hill Western Saddle and it?fitted me real well.
Had a bit of a laugh too, the hay headed pygmy was riding taffy bear-back whilst me and Dad were heading up the paddock, when me and dad had finished, I went back up to the feed area with Cherry, Nobby no-nuts and the white thing. Next minute Taffy has flown up the paddock towards us at full gallop with the pygmy on his back, she was holding on to him trying not to fall off and he stops dead in front of us hoping to have some hay before he realised he was the wrong side of the fence. I could hear my dad clapping and laughing it was so funny, one hell of a run I’ll give him that and a good effort by the pygmy
August 14th 2007
It’s so “can’t be arsed” Tuesday today!!!
August 12th 2007
Opps think I upset dad again
Today Dad decided I needed to run around and around in circles for his amusement whilst he stands there with a long rope in his hand waving the carrot stick at me. He calls it lunging and says it will help me keep fit. I call it doing something other than eating grass and he can pop it up his bottom.
So there?I was, hooked up to the long rope and him waving the stick, so I walk real slow for about 5 steps in a circle and then turn towards him and walked up to him and stuck my nose under his arm. Totally melted him
He moves away from me and tries to get me going again so I just walk towards him and snuggle into his chest
A one point I trot for about 10 steps to build up some hope for him before walking back to him so I can have a scratch on his coat.
After about 20 minutes of trying to get me to trot in a circle he finally gives up and goes and gets the feed. I really need that as well after all that excercise LOL.
August 10th 2007
Uh oh, I’mmmmm in trouble
I know I’m in deep cos I heard my dad screaming my name across the paddock at me. I looked up and saw him stood in front of his brand new wooden horse float. I guess that means he just found out I windsucked the bottom off the window then ? tee hee.
August 8th 2007
No you are not seeing things, yes this is me in my racing gear, yes I am da man. All you doubters, on yer bike.
Oh and note the number one
I’m so proud of myself I’d give myself a big hug if I could ?? Amy the person I use to own before Dad, sent this to my Dad today, how cool is she, how cool is he for putting it on here and how cool am I
August 7th 2007
Well what’s with that then? Dad is standing right down at the top of the bottom paddock, he’s got his Jeep parked by the gate and has a bale of hay next to him and he’s calling C’mon to us.
I start walking down towards him so I can have some breakfast and Cherry, Nobby, Taffy and the little white thing are just stood there looking confused. I get half way down the paddock, turn around to see if they are following and they are still stood up the top of the paddock wondering where the hay is. I’m like, well helloooooo, guys I think just maybe dad wants up to come down to the bottom paddock for a feed, remember the old “get them in the bottom paddock trick”. You can always not bother and starve to death, me I’m just going to get some feed.
Oh well, I give up and just keep walking, I go through the gate to the bottom paddock and start eating my breakfast, I look up and they are still stood there. Sighhh. Looks like they have formed their very own head up bum club. Next minute they suddenly realise what’s going on and start charging down the hill towards the bottom paddock. Sighhh.
Cherry who is obviously the brightest of a very dim pack trots through the gate and starts eating her hay, Nobby, Taffy and the white thing stand the other side of the fence and act like giraffes and try to eat from about 2m away. Sighhhhhh. Dad starts to herd them through the gate, Nobby and Taffy finally get what’s going on and trot into the bottom paddock and start munching. Sighhhhh
The little white thing is having none of it and starts prancing up and down and running away from dad every time he gets close. Dad is beside himself, he keeps looking at his watch and calling the little white thing a stoopid dork, in the end he just gives up and stomps back into his car muttering.
Oh well never miss an opportunity, more hay for me ?? I think I’d have to say I’m actually embarrassed to be a horse right now ? In fact I’m going to sigh for the rest of the day. Sigghhhhhhhhhh
?
August 6th 2007
Bless him, Dad is worried about me, thinks I’m looking a bit thin, he’s started giving me some extra hard feed twice a day and I get it all to myself
He’s also getting me some new warmer rugs cos it’s winter here and he wants to keep me warm, and he told me he’s going to start working me a bit every day now to build my condition up.
Hold on, I’m not sure I like that last bit. The extra feed and the quilted rug was ok but me doing something? nahhhhh
August 4th 2007
God it’s cold and raining too, really don’t feel like doing anything today. Mind you had to laugh earlier, Nobby no-nuts came sliding past me and Cherry earlier on his way to some feed, me and Cherry started doing high-ones to each other, can only do high-ones cos we have no toes puhahahah, god the things I have to do to amuse myself.
August 3rd 2007
Woo hoo, we gone bloggy. Now you can leave me comments about my diary and dad can tell me what your saying. But ya better be nice otherwise I’ll come over and windsuck on your ears
Also added a forum so all you nice horsey’s?can leave messages for me, the?predators can use it too but don’t tell them otherwise they will sit on it all day and forget to feed you?:)
To comment on the diary just click the comments link underneath the diary entry, there is a new one every time the diary is updated.
The forum is on the main menu where the tack room use to be.
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August 1st 2007
Totally gutted
I got an email today and just found out my mate in America, Paul the Mule has died and gone to the big paddock in the sky. Don’t wanna talk about it …. too sad … bye
July 28th 2007
So there I was grazing and I came across some pony poo. OMG how small is that, looks like a rabbit has been in my paddock. That’s just odd. Can everything stop being odd please, getting freaked here!!!
July 27th 2007
I got an email today from my mule mate Paul, which was a nice surprise. He has his own web site check it out he’s really funny and has the biggest ears in the West. He’s from over the other side of the World and talks really funny. He says things like mah and ya’ll.
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July 26th 2007
Well there I was minding my own business as you do, and I heard it coming down the hill. Mobile dunny time again, jeez it’s like Piccadilly Circus around here these days. Sigh.. so what’s happened, pony didn’t work out? Bobby is going? I’m lucky I am a celebrity and my dad loves me so much otherwise I’d get very nervous with all these coming and goings, but I know I’m staying put.
Door opens, fanfare number 2 of the week, annnnnnndddddd it’sssss ????? PUHAHAHAH Another Pony who is the spitting image of Nobby no-nuts. Hey Nobby you shrank, OMG that’s way too funny, I laughed so hard I heard a bit drop out of my bottom. Even Nobby was looking at it with a “What on earth is that” look on his face.
This place is getting very odd!!! There are now 5 of us, or three and two halves to be precise.
And then. Just when I got over that little episode, Dads Jeep comes down the driveway with another mobile dunny. What on earth is going on around here? He pulls up and opens the back, thank god, it’s empty. Hang on that means one of them is going, he closes the back door on it and stands there with his hands on his hips just looking at it.
Eh? I’m just looking all over the place totally confused now. And then I finally get it. Duh!! Dads gone and bought a new float. Cool, looks great dad, still not getting me to go in it though
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July 25th 2007
One of the horses eating pygmies rode me today. Went on a canter up a hill and she fell off. Humans 0 - Bazzyboy 1. Whoo hoo away win, how good’s that
July 24th 2007
La la la, Tum tee tum, mobile dunny coming down the path etc, etc. You might have noticed this no longer surprises me So come on what have we got now? or have they finally come to their senses and decided to rid me of Nobby no-nuts at long last?
Door opens, big fanfare and … wtf is that!!! This midget horse trots off. Has to be no bigger than my leg, well that’s just silly, hope it’s not going to try eating my hay or it could get pretty messy. Looks like we have a real pony in the paddock, that should let Nobby of the hook for a while at least.
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July 20th 2007
I’m so bored Bobby sounded interesting just now, Dad take me for a ride please!!!
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July 18th 2007
Yesterday was so strange I now need therapy .
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July 17th 2007
OMG It was sooooooo cold today, I think I did actually freeze my nuts off, had a look but couldn’t see them. Anyway I had the Ballarat water torture today. I look up to the sky and I’m like, this isn’t good. A nasty gray cloud heading this way, please not more rain, I can’t stand another day of being wet. Anyway I look up and see this horrible white stuff fall from the sky and I’m thinking, this is a tad different. Next minute it’s everywhere, I have these flakes of white sitting on the end of my nose, on top of my ear, on my eye lashes, everywhere. Well err at least it’s not wet. Before I knew it the whole lot just turned into water and ran up my nose, into my ear and I just freak out big time.
I look up again and the whole sky has gone white, everything has gone white, even Bobby is stood there looking like some weird albino horse. Daaaaaadddddd, what’s going on
I feel like I’m stood on some huge big wedding cake. I’ll just stand here and shake until it goes away.
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July 14th 2007
Hey Bobby, Knock Knock!!!
Who’s there Baz?
It’s me Sally
Sally who?
Bobby you heartless cretin, go away!!!
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July 13th 2007
Well, well, well. That was a bit of a surprise. I heard on the hay vine that Mr I’m so friggen special, no nuts, woofty colored, pony club mount bobbbbby was leaving us and going to a circus for performing small horses. So there I was in the paddock, big big smile on my face watching the mobile dunny coming down the path, human gets out, lowers the back and , yayyyyy!!! No more no nuts. Next minute dad is walking Sally the geriatric school master onto the back of the dunny, door closes and woof she’s gone.
Well, what the??? I’m stood there looking at the dunny with this very confused, bemused look on my face, Bobby is stood next to me with beads of sweat on his head with an equally confused, bemused look on his face. Why you lucky, lucky ……….. , whateverrrrr. I’m like, that’s so wrong, so upsetting, so unfair, and more hay for me, I’ll sort of miss her though.
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July 10th 2007
WOOHOOOO I CAN FLY!!!! Dad took me for a ride today, which was awesome only because Nobby no-nuts had to walk behind me the whole way and I got to swish his nose with my tail every time he got too close. Funny that, it seemed to happen quite often actually, especially when I just did a dead stop in the middle of the track so he’d walk in to me and I could give him another swish. Anywayyyyyyyy, that’s not the wooohooo bit. When we got back to the paddock after what seemed like the walk that would never end, Dad decided he would take me down to the new jumps he had set up.
He had to be kidding, I was absolutely knackered. Unlike Nobby of course as he doesn’t have any. My point being I’m like so not into this idea, Dad gives me a nudge forward, the jumps are still 50m away so I just drag myself forward side-on hoping that might give Dad a clue as to how I feel about his stoopid idea.
Nope, he’s not going to bite, he straightens me up and tells me to trot, I’m like Daaaaaaaad I’m tired. Anyway we get to the jumps and I just sort of walk through them. I figure there is only so many times he will get off and put them back up before he gives in. 10 mins later he’s still trying and I’m still walking slowly over everything, he’s bloody stubborn I’ll give him that. In the end I started to feel a bit sorry for him, ohhhhh go on then …. sigh. Spose I’ll make an effort. He lines me up for the triple jump. I step over the first, sort of slow trot over the middle one and then did this huge leap over the third one. I thought the silly bugger was going to fly off my back LOL.
He’s woohoo’ing like crazy (It was his first ever jump, bless him) I’m woohoo’ing like crazy just cos I was happy for Dad, and pretty chuffed with myself I might add. Nobby was looking bog eyed at me in disbelief cos he was too scared to even do the little one, so that set me off whoohoo’ing even more. Pah in yer face Mr Pony No-nuts I would even go as far as to say that was the absolute Mutts Nuts (Dogs Bollox to you) I did a little dance and then me and dad trotted all the way back to the big stable with the biggest smiles on our faces.
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July 8th 2007
Bless, you just have to love him…sigh.
Dad comes down the paddock in his Jeep earlier pulling this big box behind him full of the big black rubber things like he had on the back of his old Jeep. Ohhh cool he’s setting up a windsucking farm LOL. Anyway I just stand there watching him wondering what he’s up to now. He takes them off the box thing and puts them all neat and tidy in the paddock. Then he gets back into his Jeep and drives off, I’m like, what the? Very odd!!!
Oh hang on there’s more, back he comes again this time he has a load of big brightly colored sticks on the back. What on eaaaaarth is he doing. He gets out the Jeep and starts placing the sticks on top of the rubber circles. And then it hit me!!!! I was gobsmacked, In fact the truth is I just went straight into ignore mode in the hope I was just seeing things.
OMG he’s setting up some jumps. PUHAHAHAH you have to be kidding, he has absolutely no hope of getting me to do that. Bribe me as much as he wants it’s not going to happen. I can see him looking at me with a big smile on his face. I just look the other way and just hope he doesn’t come towards me.
He starts walking towards me, I just groan and pretend to be eating some grass and then out of nowhere the rain starts pouring down. Dad gets back in his Jeep and drives off. YAY!!!!! I LOVE this rain. It’s great , woohooo. I’m going to roll around in the mud and then go windsuck the hell out of those sticks
Somehow I’m sort of dreading the next dry day though
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July 7th 2007
OK it’s now well past funny. It’s be raining for 7 days now!!! If Noah doesn’t turn up with an Ark pretty soon I am going to be so rooted.
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July 6th 2007
Please someone shoot him, (Nobby that is) He’s been moaning all day. He’s not happy with me, for keep going on about him being a pony after he went to pony club. Anyway he said he wasn’t feeling very well today and I just happened to mention he did seem a little hoarse PUHAHAHAHAHAHAH I lost count of the number of rolls in the mud I did after that. I even rolled right over.
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July 5th 2007
I am so bloody fed up with Nobby. He is driving me insane. But I’m just going to ignore him and be quiet. As Dad said to me “If you have nothing nice to neigh, then best neigh nothing”
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July 2nd 2007
I am now officially over this rain!!! It’s no longer funny and if I have to sulk about it all day I will. Earlier I had Cherry slide into me and nearly knock me flying. I’m just minding my own business having a munch on some hay and then Cherry clocks me and decides to come down a slope followed by Nobby the no nuts pony.
They both loose their hoofing and next minute I have Cherry and Nobby doing a bloody Torville and Dean impersonation past me. I’m like for gods sake get it together you two, I’m trying to eat my breakfast. If you have to practice for Disney on Ice bugger off somewhere else and do it.
I go to munch on some more hay and when I look down it’s all covered in a mound of mud. Bloody marvelous! Thanks for that Cherry.
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July 1st 2007
So there I was minding my own business and I see Dad coming down the drive way in his Jeep towing the mobile Dunny. Oh god now what?. Not another horse surely? Anyway, next minute he is loading up Nobby and Sally. Oh this looks promising I think to myself. Maybe he wont bring them back and anyway I get to have Cherry all to myself in the paddock when they are gone. Then I see two of the horse eating pygmies getting in the back of the Jeep and Dad said “Hurry up or you will be late for Pony Club”
Well PMSL. Nobby No-Nuts and the Geriatric School Master are off to PONY club. Obviously I’m not going because I’m a big bloody horse as opposed to shortarse Nobby who is obviously a Pony. I laughed so hard I think I even pooped a bit.
Despite this sudden on-set of sheer happiness I couldn’t help feeling a tad miffed that it meant I wouldn’t get to spend time with Dad again today. The day went sooooooo slow. Cherry wasn’t up for anything, and I had eaten all the hay that had been left out to distract me when they loaded up Sally and Nobby into the float (Oh pleassee. like I haven’t figured this one out yet, if your going to feed me, you can stick who you like in the dunny as long as it’s not me)
Anyway the hours pass and finally I hear the Jeep come back. Me and Cherry run up to the big stable and see Nobby and Sally getting off dunny. Bloody hell he looks knackered LOL, “quiet day then Nobby?”. Nobby just looked at me in total disgust and just grumbled “bugger off Bazz” “ewwwwwwwwww Shut it Pony” I retorted with glee. Man I am so on form today.
Anyway Dad decides to feed us, which was really good cos I already had an extra feed. After I finished, I thought I’d go say G’Day to Dad. I had a good sniff around his Jeep and then he jumps in and goes to drive off.
Noooooooooooooooo!!! I haven’t seen you all day I get myself into a right state and start neighing like crazy. Well talk about feeling like a complete nob, he was only moving the Jeep, and there was me chasing after him as well.
And then I decide only thing to do when you feel like a complete idiot is to make the humans look even more stupid. Next minute I have Dad neighing back at me. What the? That’s just too funny. On that note I think I’ll just go head down the paddock and taunt the crap out of Nobby the new pony.
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June 28th 2007
Dad came running up to me today all excited about something. Apparently I’m now famous and have a friend in California? I looked around the paddock and didn’t see anyone so I still have no idea what he’s going on about . He said something about boatoes or potatoes or whatever. Oh yeah photos that was it, and dashed back into the house. Two minutes later he comes running across the paddock towards me, I’m like cool, he can actually run. Well done Dad. He slides to a stop, and pulls out a bag of death. TA DAAAA Well that was it. I’m outta here. All I could hear was Bazz come back. BAZZZZZZ. Still no idea what that was all about.
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June 25th 2007
3 days of wet cold, rainy yucky weather. Think I preferred the drought. Well at least the dam is full. Not that has anything to do with anything because I’m not going near it. Don’t need to now since Dad installed my personal drinking utility. SORT MY NECK RUG OUT YOU NOB HEAD!!!
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June 22nd 2007
Oi Dad, get outta that warm stable of yours and sort my rugs out will you!!! Bless him, he tried I will give him that. It was really cold yesterday so he put my neck rug on to keep me warm. Only thing is he doesn’t really get the whole neck rug thing. Normal rugs, no issues. It kept slipping so in a flash of inspiration he ran the loops through my windsucking collar. Nice idea at the time, granted. Anyway. didn’t stop it slipping and my neck rug is now upside down. Again I could normally cope with such things, but then it rained and filled up with water. Every time I bend down to eat some grass I get a bloody tidal wave run down neck. I’d actually laugh if I could be arsed.
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June 16th 2007
I went for a ride with my Dad today Guess that means I’m not grounded anymore woo hoo. Annnnnd I didn’t have to have an instructor show me how to carry my Dad. Unlike Mr Nobby No Nuts, who had to be shown how to carry his rides. The teacher said he was lazy. Puhahaha, Love it.
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June 14th 2007
Oh I so got myself all confused earlier. I had a trot across the paddock and just as I stopped I took a quick peek behind to check out my stringy back leg, got sort of use to it jumping in the air at the end of the trot and nothing!! I’m like what the? So I had another go, trotty trotty trotty STOP. Nothing!!! OHHHHhh Just got use to having Stringhalt and it’s gone and cleared itself up.
Now what am I suppose to go and do. I’d been milking that SH thingy for weeks and now it’s gone I’m going to have to start working harder again. Maybe he hasn’t noticed yet Trotty trotty trotty STOP. Wow look my leg jumped in the air Dad. It did, it did. Can I have some more hay, I’m not well
:)
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June 12th 2007
OMG It’s soooo cold today. I think it’s going to snow. And the dam will freeze over and I wont be able to get any water, and the grass will freeze and slash my face open when I try to eat it and I’ll skid all the way down the paddock and land in a heap in the fence and will have to be cut out, and my shoes will shrink cos they are metal and my feet will explode and .. and , oh why bother he’s not going to give me another rug. Fair enough I suppose I have two on as it is but I thought if I moaned enough I might get another
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June 5th 2007
Sorry I have been a bit quiet but I got grounded
I had a wander up to the top gate, sortta bored so was just passing the day and I’m like, bloody hell look at the size of that grass. There just the other side of the top paddock is this big area full of really lush, long, green grass. Ohhhhhhhh yum.
So I’m standing at the gate, drooling all over the place and I hear the front door open at the big stable and I see dad coming out. So I quickly look the other way and turn away from the gate. He goes back inside. Quick as a flash I’m back at the gate again. I just soooo want that grass. I’m standing there licking my lips trying to work out how to get to it and the door opens again.
Head up, look around, don’t look at the gate or the grass or he will figure it out. I know I’ll windsuck the post that will explain why I’m stood here. Phew door shut again, Dads gone back inside. Right that’s it, now or never.
I go back to the gate and have a good look at it, cooooool no chain. Gotta love these remote control gates So I stick my head in between the gate and the post and give it a little nudge, and hey presto the gate opens enough for me to get out.
I’m standing in paradise, scoffing myself silly, tum tee tum, yum tee yum. I can here Dad hollering up the path towards me. Quick scoff as much as you can. Dad is stood next to me less than impressed, grabs me by my ear and frog marches me back into the paddock.
Ahh well least I got a good feed before I got caught
I wander smugly down the paddock. Why you looking so pleased with yourself Bazz asked Nobby?. Yeah what’s going on asks Cherry?. Well I’m hopeless at keeping secrets so I told the guys what had happened.
Oh BS Nobby chimed in, no way can you get through the gate, only the humans can get through there.
Well what was I supposed to do after having the gauntlet thrown down like that eh?
Ok guys follow me, and pretend your grazing until I give the word ok, don’t all herd around the gate. dads inside, we wait a few minutes, nope, no sign of movement, I spring the gate and we all charge out. Totally unsubtle I might add. We all hoon down the road and back up again. Cherry is losing her mind, Nobby is carrying on like a 2 bob bridle and me? , well I know this ain’ t going to last so I just get in as much grass as I can before.. uh oh here he comes and man is he pissed.
Oh bollox he has the stock whip!!!! Run away ……
What an adventure that was Tried it again this morning but he chained the gate. Looks like it’s bottom paddock time for us for a while. Gives us some time to plan the next big escape
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May 28th 2007
OMG!!! *Stunned* There I was minding my own business and I look up and see Dad driving towards the house with a Mobile Dunny on the back of the car. Grrrrrroaaaannnn what now!!!
I had horrible visions of another float in the dam episode, either way this just spelt T.R.O.U.B.L.E! At the least it meant I was due to get my arse shoved in there and hauled off to somewhere where I would have to do something. This was not looking good.
Dad gets out the car and lowers down the back of the Dunny, and I’m like “you have no hope of getting me in there so don’t even start”.
And then……
IT’S CHERRYYYYYYYYYYYYY OMG!!! Heart attacks, palpitations, flutters you name it. My chic in the CFM boots has finally come home. How excited was I I can’t believe she’s back and she looks just so err big, and furry and muddy. Oh well she’s back and that’s all that matters.
What the? The cute chicky babe is only just out of the Mobile Dunny and that Bloody no knackers Nobby just tried to muscle in on MY Cherry. I can’t believe that stupid horse, she’s a Clydie X mate - she isn’t into dwarfs.
And there I stood, jaw on hoof watching Nobby No Nuts pull the most amazingly unsubtle approach to wooing a filly ever. Yup, he stuck his nose up her arse.
Right that’s it, I’ve had enough of this already, time to show the woofty coloured pee wee, a bit of class. I wandered over to Cherry and said g’day. We had a really nice snuggle up, only made better by No Nuts cracking the strops and stomping off down the paddock.
CHERRY IS BACK.. WOOOO HOOO (Man she needs a bath though)
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May 28th 2007
:)
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May 28th 2007
:)
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May 28th 2007
oh yeahhhh
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May 27th 2007
Today was BONZA day. Today was up there with winning the Melbourne Cup but on that occasion someone woke me up and I realised I was dreaming, but today, ohhh no it was just so cool. Dad had finally had enough of all the hay being stuck up in his Jeep stable so he decided to move it all to the tack room.
There was hay everywhere, even in places that hay had no place being. But I still ate it by the time he had finished I reckon I had more biscuits than Arnotts. I feel so fat I think I might go lie down, or throw, or both. I love my Dad
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May 25th 2007
I had the best fun earlier, I got to terrorise the Hay Head today. This is one of the horse eating pygmy’s that lives up in the big stable, anyway I call her Hay Head because she has hair on her head that looks just like hay. Well … today she was going to feed us and we are up in the top paddock and the feed bins are down in the bottom paddock. So Hay Head had to carry the feed down and somehow entice us into the bottom paddock so we could have our feed and then shut the gate and lock us in there. (Yes we know the plan)
Anyway, she gets half way down the hill and I run up and start eating from the bin she is carrying. LOL FREAK ATTACK!!! she was not happy Every time she tried to move down the hill I stuck my head back in again LOL. And yes she finally cracked and went to get Dad. So I’m like trying to scoff down as much as I can before he comes down to sort it out.
Half a bin of feed later Dad comes down in the Jeep, swings the door open on the run, grabs the feed bin, swings it into his Jeep and carries on driving …. RESPECT.
I’m just stood there watching Dad heading towards the bottom paddock and see Nobby no nuts starting to move, that’s it, I’m off. Full gallop down the hill, scream through the gate in the bottom paddock and straight into what’s left of the feed. Oh the joy to see Nobby’s face, it was a total picture. He was in a right state by the time he got to the bottom paddock, kicking his legs out and huffing like mad. I’d have joined in but I was a bit full after all that feed
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May 23rd 2007
It’s so quiet you could hear a foal drop. Tum tee tum. Even the rabbits are just standing around doing bugger all. Sigh …. Oh hold on!!!, sigh … false alarm.
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May 20th 2007
Dad had some other predator types staying in the big stable last night, one of them was a horse eating pygmy. So yes it was the “Lets wheel out the horses and show the City folk what they are missing” time again.
Bang goes my Sunday slumber. Sighhhhh. So down comes Dad, Australian Ground Snake in hand. I realise there is absolutely no point fighting this and the sooner it’s done the sooner I can go back to eating some nice new grass in the top paddock.
Dad sticks the Western saddle on me, has to show it off now he’s bought it They grab Sally the geriatric schoolmaster and stick the horse eating Pygmy on her and the resident Pygmy leads her up to the gate with the snake.
Right off we go, up on to the road, I drag my feet for about 100m before dad gets that “too hard feeling” Turn around, back to the paddock, couple of laps of the arena, do a few laps at the trot for Dad, stop for some photos, stick the mare predator on me, couple of laps, couple of photos, stick the gelding predator, actually he might have been a stallion but I couldn’t tell with the western saddle, anyway couple of laps, stop for more photos, back to the big stable, Dad takes off the saddle and my bridle and I’m off to eat some grass.
30 Mins all up, painless, killed some time, no-one died…. sorted
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May 19th 2007
Make your mind up, rain, no rain, rain, no rain, drizzle, dry, rain. Sooo over this weather. I know my Dad keeps saying we really need the rain, but me? Well I’d rather not have raindrops hanging off my nostrils thank you very much. Pfffft..
So anyway, there I am in the bottom paddock, dripping wet, bored and fed up. Dad comes up in the Jeep with some hay. Rah Rah!. Now Rah Rah should not be confused with Yay!!. Yah is the flicky head I’m so happy to see you excited look, Rah Rah is the whetevrrrr I’m dripping wet, bored and fed up look.
Dad picked it right away and decided to try and cheer me up. “I’m sinnggging in the rain, just sinnggging in the rain, what a wonderful feeling, I’m hap hap happpy again.”
Well good for you Dad, I ignore him at this point, deciding that encouraging him will ultimately just prolong the pain.
And then he starts with “Raindrops keep fallin’ on my head, and just like the guy whose feet are too big for his bed, nothin’ seems to fit. those raindrops are fallin’ on my head, they keep fallin’ ”
All I can think at this point is I wish something would in fact fall on his head, and if he starts singing somewhere over the rainbow my ears will be pinned back against my head for a very good reason.
Avoid eye contact Bazz, just keep eating the hay until he scurries back inside the big stable.
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May 16th 2007
Sometimes I swear I’m a goldfish. You know they only have a 1 second memory, which is why if you have one swimming around a bowl it stops every time it see’s you and looks at you in total surprise as if it has never seen anything like you before. Anyway I’m convinced my short term memory is shot to bits. And why???? Well I will tell you why.
The sneaky sneaky pig did it to me again!!!!
There he is walking towards me with ground snake in hand, I’m all excited cos we are going riding etc etc. We head up to the big stable, I trot into the tack up area, Dad opens the pit of death, I wander in completely forgetting about yesterday’s trauma. and the Anvil Wielding Manic is stood there grinning at me like a Cheshire cat with a coat hanger stuck in it’s gob.
Oh bloody marvellous.
Oh well, I was actually looking forward to it in all honesty. I was wondering how the AWM is going to manage to stick a shoe on my back foot with my Stringhalt. Oops sorry nerve reflex, didn’t mean to boot you in the head. Anyway I’m standing there, I’m waiting, and waiting. And I’m like why is this taking so long and then I realised what was going on.
Dad and the AWM are having this big debate about bare foot trimming. Well you know Nobby’s should be bare foot trimmed, it’s suppose to be better for the horse said Dad.
And what do you think asked the AMW to Dad?
Load of bollox said my Dad, he’s a racehorse and a strapping one at that. I’m not having him look like some fancy looking horse with dainty manicured feet. They have been putting shoes on horses for 1,000’s of years so just put shoes on him ok. GO DAD !!!
Yeah but the Red Indians rode their horses for thousands of years without shoes on there may be something in that the AWM came back with.
What the? The Indians didn’t have horses thousands of years ago, there were no horses in North America until the Spanish introduced them.
At this point my ears are going all over the place trying to keep track of what’s going on. Big snort time I reckon. As much as I’m enjoying the flirting between the AMW and my Dad, I am now bored, hungry and in desperate need to boot the AWM with my dodgy back leg.
Ahemmmmm. Nervous horse in pit of death. Can we have some action over here please.
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May 15th 2007
My Dad is a sneaky sneaky pig!!!
Haven’t seen him for days, he drove off in his Jeep and got back today. I was soooo excited. I tried to get his attention by prancing up and down the fence line “Oi over here, look at me, look at me”.
Soon after I see him coming towards me with what suspiciously looked like an Australian Ground Snake in his hand. Wooo hooo we are going riding, thank goodness for that, I was getting really bored in that bottom paddock.
We start walking up the hill towards Dads big stable and I’m getting all pumped up, I was thinking I hope he doesn’t wear that stupid Marshals badge or I’m going to have to kick his butt.
Anyway I trot into the tack up area and start thinking about spending some quality time with Dad. He opens up the gate to the pit of death. Ohhhh bummer it must be that time again when that two legged, Anvil Wielding Maniac starts banging nails into my feet. Oh well at least I get to go for a ride with some nice shiny shoes on.
Hold on, that’s not the farrier, maybe the normal one is busy. Dad grabs hold of the snake and starts talking softly to me. At that point I know I’m in trouble. Next minute I have this huge bloody leather thing on my head and this huge metal thing in my mouth. I THOUGHT I WAS BITLESS
There is no way I’m going riding with that in my mouth. I look like Hannibal Lecter and then it hit me. BLOODY HELL It’s the toothy bloke. 2 seconds flat and my jaws are so far apart I think he’s going to try and climb inside me. Dads trying to comfort me. And I’m like. “R Ew onna ellp? Get is uddy ing outta me gob daad”
I start carrying on like a $5 girth and the toothy bloke pulls out this big shiny stick and shoves it in my mouth and starts to rip all my teeth out with it.
“AAAAAAAD ELLLLLLP MEEEEEEEEEEEEE” I’m like I’m outta here, I start rearing up and kicking out, doesn’t stop him though, seems to go on for ever. If it wasn’t bad enough already he then chucks this bucket of water in my mouth. I’m still really stressed, actually I was really pissed at this point. And then I realised he’s stopped, Dad is taking the leather thing off my head and telling me I had been so good. Well of course I have, I’m a racehorse and not scared of anything.
He then says “C’mon Bazz lets go riding”
I’m like , what the!!! You have to be kidding. And then just when I thought I was having a real bad day, it brightened up in a flick of a switch as I saw Nobby the woofty coloured, no knackers shortarse heading up towards the pit of death.
?
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May 12th 2007
I am finally free of that stupid windsucking collar. I can’t begin to tell you what a relief it is now they can’t find it. What is wrong with these people!!!? OK so I like to take in some air, no reason to go strapping a bloody big pair of nutcrackers around my neck. Anyway I’m still a bit miffed that the family meat eating poo coloured Labrador ate my electric one. Yes that is correct an electric one. I worry what goes through these people’s minds.
My Dad for his birthday got an electric windsucking collar from the horse eating pygmies. I guess he doesn’t windsuck like me as he decided I should have it. “Cures 99.9% of all horses after 3 goes” Uh-huh. So he puts it on me, bloody huge thing with this big box on the bottom. The idea is I windsuck and when I tighten my neck it sends an electric shock through my neck. Is it just me or does that sound so wrong??
So anyway there I am by the tack area with this bloody thing on, I stick my teeth on a pole and take in a big gulp of air. ZZZZTTTTTTT. FANTASTIC, that was just so friggin awesome!! Let me do that again, ZZZZTTTTTTT. Oh man this is brilliant. Dad tries to take it off me but I leg it. NO WAY this is the best fun I have had for ages. 2,425 shocks later and I’m still not cured. Dad takes me for a ride and when we get back the dog has eaten it I so miss that collar.
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May 10th 2007
I launched my website today (with a little bit of help from Dad) - didn’t expect such a great response. Thanks to everyone that emailed messages to me. I still think you are very odd, but much appreciated. Please send carrots in the mail next time though if that’s ok. ?Oh and a new horse float would be handy after I arranged for the destruction of the last one hahahah! Actually disregard that suggestion cos if I have to go in the mobile dunny for anything but celebrity appearances and book signings I am so going to refuse!
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May 9th 2007
So there I am in the bottom paddock minding my own business when the Jeep pulls up. Oh FFS! Dad is standing in front of me looking more soppy than a wet blanket, big droopy bottom lip and decides to have a D+M with me. man to man stuff. Munch munch, yeah I know, munch munch, yeah that’s terrible, munch munch, bugger off Dad your depressing me. Ahh bless him
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May 1st 2007
Struth! He’s been on Ebay again. He came home today with a Dodge City Marshall Badge so he can be a real cowboy. I think he thinks I’m a Quarter horse or something. Racehorse Dad, you know around a track, real fast??! I’m not the cross country type and I don’t like cactus. But I’ll keep the saddle if that’s ok? Nice little fashion statement that, improves the rough n tough image big time.
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April 29th 2007
Woohoo. Dads been on ebay, Dads been on ebay. He is just the best Dad a horse could wish for. He came home today with this real cool Western saddle. Man I look the dogs bollox in it I can tell you. He even got this awesome chest plate all in silver. I thought that was the best thing until I stepped out into the sun. MY EYES MY EYES. Bloody hell I can’t see a thing now. What was he thinking? All that reflective glare!!! Oh well who cares, it looks great and I love it. Thanks dad and thanks ebay.
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April 24th 2007
Do you know I’m actually happy eating grass. I love it in fact. Partial to the odd bit of hay, a carrot or two and even an apple. Well. sigh. Dad has been on the forum again and discovered the ultimate cure for Stringhalt. Now this should not be confused with the best cure for, or even the suggested cure for. I have had the best cure for and the suggested cure for and believe me they sucked big time.
Now I have the ultimate cure which consists of chaff, more chaff, stuff that looks like chaff, brown stuff, little white powdery stuff, blue stuff, stuff that smells horrible stuff, the stuff she hides just below the surface hoping I will eat it without noticing stuff and of course mag-e. Well ok I have resigned myself to the fact that my back leg is starting to do it’s own thing, it’s annoying and if this will make it go away that’s great.
So, down the hill he comes, ultimate cure in tow. He empties it into my food tub. I look at it. I look at him. I sniff it. I look at him again. I sniff it again and in total disgust let out a huge blubbery sigh, and get about 2kg of powder all over my head. Bloody marvellous. Thanks for that.
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April 12th 2007
RUN AWAY RUN AWAY!!. There is this huge big lion in the paddock staring at me. Jeez I’m going to die, I don’t need this. It’s going to rip me to shreds and I’m going to rot in the paddock. OMG it’s flying towards me. Err umm lions don’t fly do they? Err no, Um that’s an Eagle isn’t it? Bugger I hate being a prey animal. Now Dads going to have to clean my tail.
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April 4th 2007
I pig-rooted when my dad was riding me. Remind me to do it again.
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March 18th 2007
I’m bored. Need something to do. I know I’ll go find something to windsuck on that’s always a laugh. I thought it was funny, in fact I was actually peeing myself it was that funny. I mean what a stupid place to put a spare tyre anyway. Dad didn’t find it at all funny when he came out of the house and found me wind sucking the spare tyre to his Jeep Wrangler. Hahahah what’s with the long face dad
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March 10th 2007
Dad watched Sea Biscuit last night. Right genre, wrong horse. Now naff off and leave me alone. And quit watching horse movies will you it’s getting a tad tedious now!!.
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March 9th 2007
Dad watched Hidalgo last night. PMSL yeah go on, now I’m a Mustang and you are going to trek me 2,000 km’s across a red hot desert. You are having a laugh after yesterday. Ouch I think I’m a bit lame, oh no and I was so looking forward to going riding
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March 8th 2007
So. There we are on this old rocky track, un-sealed road finished ages ago. I look down and there is this sheer slope in front and god knows how many trees staring up at me, I can’t even see where it ends. You just have to be kidding, there is no way I’m going down there. I dig my heels in I ain’t moving. He gives me a nudge. Nope still not going down there. He gives me another nudge. OK I have had enough, I really don’t give two knobs of goats poo if he saw the Man from Snowy River DVD last night. I’m not a sodding Brumby and I ain’t going down there. I turn around and walk home and listen to him moaning all the way. Jeez.
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February 2nd 2007
What can I say about today? Well it started like this. Dad got the float out to take me and Cherry to a Parelli clinic for three days. Bugger that, there was no way I was going to be spending three days having an orange stick poked in my side. I had to do something, and like quick. Soooo, I whispered in my current squeeze’s ear about how I really didn’t want to do a Parelli clinic….and she did what all good women should do - she took care of it! So she rubbed herself up something silly on the end of the parked float and guess what…. bingo! The float starts rolling slowly down the slope of the paddock, and then rolls a bit faster, oops, next thing it has taken off and is flying towards the fence line between the two paddocks. That’s ok the fence will stop it. Or not!!! Oops again, float has crashed through the fence, flattened a big patch of blackberries and disappeared into the bottom paddock. SPLASH!
The humans are yelling that it’s landed in the dam, on its side. I guess the float didn’t then…float that is! 1 x Sunken float = no hard work for me for the next three days! I knew sweet talking my good thing about having a romantic day down the bottom paddock would work a treat! Off to eat some hay Once the Jeep has winched it out of the dam, I might even windsuck the float for a laugh!
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January 28th 2007
Ok, what is that? Oh it’s a bridle, how silly of me. Err that’s sort of cool it has no metal thingy. Oh I like this, I really like this. Right I better behave myself or he will switch back to the other one. And that was my day. I went riding with a new swishy bitless bridle and realised I’m on to something here. Now I wonder how long it will take him to work out how to stop me from eating the grass every 5 steps.
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December 25th 2006
Yeah yeah, rah rah rah, and Happy Christmas to you too. NO, you are kidding a carrot. I don’t believe it, that’s just the biggest surprise I have ever had in my life…. sigh.
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November 30th 2006
WOOOOOO HOOOOOO I DID IT I drank from the dam. Tasted like crap but wow like I’m so cool, not chicken shit at all.
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November 29th 2006
Give me some water for crying out loud, I’m not a bloody camel. I hate that damn dam.
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November 28th 2006
I am sooooo thirsty. It’s hot again today and they have stopped me from drinking out of the birdbath. They tried to get me to drink from the dam a few days back, they were kidding right? Wrong. Well I guess I don’t have a lot of choice do I?. So I’m standing there looking at this brown muddy water hole. If I had actually had some fluids this week I reckon I would be peeing myself right now. My legs are shaking, it’s full of crocodiles, it’s going to swallow me up whole as soon as my mouth makes contact with the water. Oh god I can’t cope with this I’ll try again later.
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November 24th 2006
I don’t bloody believe it. What did I do to deserve this? It’s bad enough that he has no idea how to ride me, now he’s trying to do Parelli. This is just wrong. I swear if he waves that carrot stick at me one more time I will ram it where the sun don’t shine. And yeah I’ll play the yo-yo game, lay down and let me walk back and forwards over your stoopid head. I s’pose I had better like “bond” with him or something or this could go on all summer.
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November 23rd 2006
He gave me a carrot
And an apple
And another carrot ?) Jeez I’m a horse not a bloody rabbit, go fetch some hay. And you can leave the carrot thanks.
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November 22nd 2006
He sat on me!!! OMG my back. I’m so sooking. If I scare the shit out of him do you think hell get back on again?
I met my new owner today, what the heck!!! He’s bloody huge, why oh why oh why? There was me munching around the paddock waiting for a little 15 kg, 8 year old to come give me a hug and take me for a ride, and the next minute I get 6ft 3″ and 100kg’s staring at me. And then I heard it. “He will make a great first horse for you, you will love learning to ride on him he’s so quiet” . Quiet? QUIET? I’m a bloody racehorse, I’m a stallion, I’m, I’m, err ok, quiet! But a totally novice rider, now that just sucks.
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November 21st 2006
Well ain’t that just dandy. I knew something was up when I saw my owner looking all tearful, and smoking cigarettes, and hugging her Mom and stuff. Next minute I have some stranger on my back making me do all sorts of acrobatics. Well I didn’t want them knowing I was feeling tired, so I put on a show. That will teach me. Next minute I’m getting shoved in the mobile dunny and driven to who knows where. After what seemed like an eternity the trailer door goes down, man did I back out of there pretty damn quick. They put me in this overnight holding cell. I thought WTF is going on here when this big brutish bird comes up to me and states well he looks piggy, not the sort of horse for him. Charming, just charming can’t she tell the difference between a horse and a pig? I guess it takes one to know one hahahaha!
Anyway later on this nicer looking ’uman comes over and says hes freaked about by his long trip and she is going to walk me home. It’s only about 5km’s up the road. You have to be kidding. It’s getting dark, I have no idea where I am, no idea who she is and then we come to the main road and this huge truck comes blasting past. Bugger that I’m outta here. I was crapping myself big time. I’ll say this only once. I’m a racehorse ok. Save that sort of stuff for Black Beauty. Wasn’t long before the ’uman was on the phone ordering me a limo. 5 minutes later up it comes, nice big truck, plenty of room, no walking….sorted. The limo takes me to this big paddock and I have a new home, this should be fun.
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